Thread 283426041

Post terrifying creatures of the night

Since humans dress up as unholy vampires for Halloween shouldn't vampires dress up as virtuous humans?

>>283426700
Why would you want to see pires dress as cheap whores

>>283426700
That fatpire needs to diet and exercise.

>>283426887
Sopi's not fat, she just has dhampir bearing hips.

>>283426700
>AI
not my gophie

Spooky!

>>283428331
That buttcrack...

I love my beautiful little vampire queen wife, beyond all things!!! :)

Imagine a XXX-year-old vampire occupying your home after tricking you into letting her in, perhaps even on Halloween. She acts all haughty, but she depends on you for sustenance! She claims to understand human males more than any mere human, but she sits on your lap to display dominance and feels smugly superior for "forcing" you to let her sit there! Cute! Adorable! She doesn't understand modern technology and mispronounces words like "television" or "internet!" You claim to be terrified of her presence and cowed by her occupying your bed at night to get her to do it more often! Aren't dumbpires great?

>>283428364
Needs to be licked

>>283427045
gay

>>283426041 (OP)
I only like dumb dorkpires

Vampire feet

>>283442998
I'm scared stiff.

>>283430474
>and mispronounces words like "television" or "internet!"
How would these words be mispronounced? I feel like their english spelling to pronunciation is pretty intuitive, compared to stuff like "Infrared" or "Coup" or "Claiomh Solais"
"T'ley vai son?" "Intra-neet?"

>>283444674
We've been over this before, intranet != internet. They are very different. You figured out online shopping and how to use a cell phone in days, but this somehow eludes you.

>>283444674
>tea-levy-scion
>intern-ette

Is this the new vampire thread?

>>283447310
Who knows?

>>283447310
Maybe

I am scared stiff.