27M and tried it all, why am I still not happy?
I feel like every year I hit a new bottom, and it's never because of life circumstances or anything. I've tried so hard over the past decade to make my life better - Getting a degree, working different jobs, moving to different places, making different friends, talking to different girls, making money here and there, learning hobbies, making things, etc. etc. etc. etc.
But I still feel so empty every day. And all I can do is keep pushing to do things, get a better job, have more experiences, make more money, make more music, as if it will make me happier, but it doesn't. It's not even that I have it made or anything, it's just that it seems like everything I work to achieve feels like it will fix things once I do it, but it never does.
Same with people too. I feel lonely, but being with others never seems to make me feel any more human. And I pine over women to no end, but once I get them (rarely), or sleep with them (more rarely), I feel nothing. It's like there's always six feet of concrete between me and everyone else. Or maybe there's just nothing inside.
What do you do in this situation? I've been in therapy on and off for about ten years now, I journal, read, stopped drinking, etc. etc. But I still feel the same as I did ten years ago, just maybe better at hiding it from people.
But I still feel so empty every day. And all I can do is keep pushing to do things, get a better job, have more experiences, make more money, make more music, as if it will make me happier, but it doesn't. It's not even that I have it made or anything, it's just that it seems like everything I work to achieve feels like it will fix things once I do it, but it never does.
Same with people too. I feel lonely, but being with others never seems to make me feel any more human. And I pine over women to no end, but once I get them (rarely), or sleep with them (more rarely), I feel nothing. It's like there's always six feet of concrete between me and everyone else. Or maybe there's just nothing inside.
What do you do in this situation? I've been in therapy on and off for about ten years now, I journal, read, stopped drinking, etc. etc. But I still feel the same as I did ten years ago, just maybe better at hiding it from people.