Thread 33612596

>extremely horny one day, decide to buy a heated vibrating auto sucker
>go on reddit to look for recommendations, most posts say the expensive brands are overpriced ripoffs that break easily and that the chinese brands are a good affordable alternative
>order one for just under 15 bucks on aliexpress
>it arrives, i insert my dick and let it heat up as instructed while scrolling for something to beat off to
>the suction is insane, way better than anything ive ever felt to the point where my dick goes completely numb
>few minutes into use, the device powers off by itself, i feel something is horribly wrong
>i struggle to pull out due to the tightness but once off i notice the smoke blowing out of the devices fuckhole
>my dick is completely red and both sides of my shaft are horribly burnt
>i feel the blood rush out of my rager and its the most extreme pain ive ever felt in my life
>it hurts even more to touch my dick
>the inside of the toy is excruciatingly hot, i burnt my finger earlier just sticking it in there

its been 3 hours and the redness hasnt gone away, let alone the pain. WTF DO I DO? do i go to the hospital? how do i explain to them that i grilled my cock with a chinese fleshlight? will this permanently scar my penis?! i tried submerging it in ice water for a few minutes but it still HURTS OW OW OW

>>33612596 (OP)
>do i go to the hospital?
Yes.
>how do i explain to them that i grilled my cock with a chinese fleshlight?
Just tell them the truth. Doctors have probably seen worse, people go there with weirder stuff shoved up their orifices all the time.

>>33612596 (OP)
>go on reddit
kill yourself

>>33612596 (OP)
>Do I go to the hospital?
Yes, right fucking now, you absolute moron. The sooner you get your dick looked at the better chance you have of it ever working again.

>What do I do?
You go to the ER and you tell them the straight truth. If there has ever been a time in your life for Mother Teresa level honesty, this is it. You tell them everything, you answer all their questions, and please, don’t make excuses. We don’t believe or care about them anyway. Lots of people go to the ER for things they’ve shoved into them or shoved themselves into. You’re not special. It’s bad enough they have to spend the next several hours playing with your dong, don’t make them hold your hand at the same time.

Also, as a general rule for life, don’t stick it in anything or anyone that cost less than $100.

>>33612596 (OP)
Against strong compeition, this wins the award as Funniest Piece of Fiction of the Day.

>>33612656
>The sooner you get your dick looked at the better chance you have of it ever working again.
ive been debating this for hours, but i think im gonna try to sleep it off until morning. i dont think ill be able to afford a hospital visit when i can instead do a diy remedy at home. chatgpt has suggested i wrap my dick in a wet towel and hold it between my legs which is gonna cause me to sleep in a bad position for my back but oh well.

the redness has mostly gone away but the base of my penis looks more swollen and a little bit purple. it hurts like a motherfucker

>>33612596 (OP)
>dick goes completely numb
how is that a good thing?
either way, use your hand or a prostitute, you don't want to overcomplicate sex
machines, drugs or external stimuli only cause problems in the long run

>>33612821
Enjoy never being able to nut again, anon. You'll still get phantom boners that you won't be able to relieve. :)

>>33612821
>when i can instead do a diy remedy at home
>chatgpt has suggested
I take it back. Don't go to the hospital. We're better off as a whole if you don't have a means to reproduce.

op here, didnt end up going to the hospital but the pain has mostly subsided. i still feel stabbing pains upon touch which has made wearing anything other than underwear a fucking nightmare. my dicks mostly just swollen and bruised which really worries me but theres no more redness. the base of my shaft looks hardened and has a rougher texture and it kind of looks like an acorn. i also really have to piss but im deathly afraid to.

you should still go to the hospital dude. theyve seen weirder shit

Post a link to whatever you bought cause I've never heard of an autosucker before and now I want one.

>>33616113
Post cock.

>>33616113
You're never going to be able to use your penis again. Grats.

>>33616113
op here again, just pissed blood.

>>33616968
Good, you deserve it for being a retard and not going to the doctor. Anyway, now that you never have to worry about being able to have sex again for the rest of your life, you can focus on other things!