Thread 33645844

This is like the most common /advice/ here.
>bro just join a hobby group like dancing or a run club and talk to the girls
But how do you actually get girls out of this? You can't hit on them there or you'll be socially shunned, so you keep them at a friendly arms length. Nothing ever develops except you just seeing them 1x a week at the group.
How would you ever get with them then?

>>33645844 (OP)
>You can't hit on them there or you'll be socially shunned
I've never ever been socially shunned for hitting on women, even at my fattest and most aspergery. literally the only expectation people have is leave them alone if they reject you

>>33645844 (OP)
Tips:
- Don't be a creeper.
- Make sure you're aware of both yours and the girls personal space, which includes taking pictures and filming depending on the activity/hobby.
- Try to build a friendly rapport before shooting your shot.
- Don't hit on the girl or flirt during the activity/hobby, approach the subject after.
-Act confident without being an asshole. Confidence is mostly just you playing into your strengths without overdoing it, like if you're funny, be funny, but don't bombard them with jokes.

If your entire happiness is based on getting laid you are looking at life wrong. Join a hobby group to enjoy a hobby.

>>33645844 (OP)
>Nothing ever develops except you just seeing them 1x a week at the group.
And why would you not be able to capitalize on this?

>>33645899
>enjoy running
>join run club
>meet new people and become a regular
>talk to girls 1x a week until you are too old for the club
>die alone because you never got a girlfriend
Uh oh

>>33645915
Because of what could happen if you fail. If you ask a girl out and she rejects you then the whole club will reject you as the guy who is only there it hit on girls. If she says yes but it doesn't work out then same result. If you ask out multiple girls then that is basically speedrunning death.
In all scenarios you will have to quit the club.
I don't understand how you would get with a girl from a hobby group.

>>33645899
Not OP, but I enjoy working out. I also enjoy looking at the fat asses that run in the same trail as me. I dunno why the hobby is suddenly invalid because I wanna fuck them. It's not like I stop what I'm doing or waste time. I just want to know a way to grace into hitting on them without it making it blatant. Which is the goal of most women anyway, they want dick without feeling like a whore

>>33645964
>Because of what could happen if you fail.
Normally I'd say this is ridiculous and you can't live your life being afraid of or expecting to fail. Note: normally...but let's read on.
>If you ask a girl out
So why are you asking out women on sight instead of just talking to them every week, getting to know them and letting it happen organically?
> then the whole club will reject you as the guy who is only there it hit on girls.
And with good reason, the fact we're even having this conversation tells me that you really ARE just there for that.
> If she says yes but it doesn't work out then same result.
What? No it's not. If she says and then it doesn't work out the group will just shrug and move on with their lives, unless you were totally horrible to her or something.
Relationships, let alone dates, fizzle out sometimes and everyone knows and understands that.

>>33646010
>So why are you asking out women on sight instead of just talking to them every week, getting to know them and letting it happen organically?
You'll just end up as friends if you don't make your romantic interest clear.

>>33645844 (OP)
>How would you ever get with them then?
By talking to them, duh.

>>33645844 (OP)
>You can't hit on them there or you'll be socially shunned, so you keep them at a friendly arms length. Nothing ever develops except you just seeing them 1x a week at the group.
It's very important you understand this is an elaborate fantasy you constructed in your head. that is slowly making your into a fag.

>>33646020
>You'll just end up as friends if you don't make your romantic interest clear.
Correct. You do need to make romantic interest clear. This is why you do things like ask them on a date after you realize you may be interested in them, instead of orbit them like a beta.

>>33646044
I don't understand. You talk to girls there and become acquainted. Then you see them 1x a week and chat a bit. And then... nothing ever happens.

>>33646052
But if you get rejected it becomes awkward, the girl will never feel comfortable at the club ever again, worst case she tells the owner and you'll get kicked out.

>>33646067
Women get asked out all the time. They don't actually care. The girl Elliot Rodgers obsessed over didn't even remember who he was. If it feels awkward for you, it's because you've tied up all your self worth with getting a yes from this girl. Maybe there will be residual awkwardness between you two. Maybe there won't. If that's too much for you to bare then just give up on women. There's no clever solution beyond this. I don't know what you want to hear.

>>33646057
>And then... nothing ever happens.
That's on you then.

>>33646090
>>33646100
I am 25 years old and no girl just has ever been interested in me. I tried all the looksmaxxing stuff and been running and lifting at the gym for 5 years but still no interest. I just feel really hopeless and have no idea what to do.
Like the worst is always how /adv/ says girls will send you signals if they are interested, e.g. smiling at you, intense eye contact, waving their hair, laughing hard at your jokes, wanting to spend time etc. However, I have absolutely NEVER received these signals. How am I supposed to flirt/ask out girls if they are never interested?

Never do anything for girls. Do it for yourself, to improve, to have a more interesting life that you'll enjoy.

>>33646135
It goes on. Why should anyone like you when you don't even can like yourself?

>>33646128
Running and gym is cool. Gym will always be your friend, a better friend than women ever will be. Respect. What are your PRs if you don't mind me asking?

Women send you these signals. On dates. Not apropos of nothing. How many women have you asked on dates?

>>33646228
>How many women have you asked on dates?
I have never asked a woman on a date because none ever had any interest in me or sent me some signals.
>PRs
Only notable ones are 2.5pl8 squat, 1pl8 OHP and a 20 min 5K.

>>33646239
>I have never asked a woman on a date because none ever had any interest in me or sent me some signals.
Yeah, problem here is you're putting the carriage before the horse. Women really don't initiate, even when they do like you. My first girlfriend's way of showing interest in me was calling my shirt gay and talking shit about me to everyone. Then when we went on a date she basically couldn't keep her hands off me.

>Only notable ones are 2.5pl8 squat, 1pl8 OHP and a 20 min 5K.
Do you remember what you started from? With numbers like this after 5 years I'm assuming you go to the gym intermittedly.

>>33646128
By talking to them. You and everyone elses problem is you put women on this pedestal, that they're this higher being and should be worshiped or some shit like that. They're not. Women are no better than you, they shit and piss just like men.

>>33646260
>My first girlfriend's way of showing interest in me was calling my shirt gay and talking shit about me to everyone
Girls just ignore me completely.

I don't lift that much, just 2x a week but I go running 3x a week. I focus a lot on mobility too, I can do a full front as well as side split and an abs-to-floor pancake. I try to balance all 3 running-gym-flexibility, so I am getting like 80% of gains at all of them. 20min 5K is also not elite but I make it consistently into the top 10% of runners at races.

>>33645844 (OP)
The idea is to make male friends and be invited to off site events, also having male friends at the events gives you social standing.
You might actully get a date from the event, but that is like a 1 in 100 event, which is why you need to go to alot

>>33646278
You talk to them but then what? Just talking to them is nice and all but how does that lead to anywhere more than being friendly acquaintances?
>inb4 ask them out
They need to send signals to you first or else you'll just get rejected or you are labeled as a creep.

>>33646296
>Just talking to them is nice and all but how does that lead to anywhere more than being friendly acquaintances?
Subtlety sending signals yourself, eventually getting to the point of asking her out on a date. If she rejects you, move on or stay as friends if you want.
>They need to send signals to you first or else you'll just get rejected or you are labeled as a creep.
I mean, that depends on what you say. If you're talking about how sexy she looks and want to fondle her tits of course she'll label you as a creep. There's ways to go about things, yknow?

>>33646287
>Girls just ignore me completely.
The way you keep hammering this makes it sound like you have self confidence issues and are meek and afraid. Women can smell this from a mile away no matter what your PRs are or how nice you dress. Also, since you've never actually asked a woman out on a date not only does that lend credence to my hypothesis but I'm missing critical data on what you might actually be doing wrong. In lieu of all that, the only advice you're gonna get from anyone is to talk to women and ask them out. I promise if you wait for women to initiate anything you'll never get a lick of attention.

What do you think about that?

>>33646325
Well, my problem is that girls ignore me. Like if I were to join a run club then I can't just talk to girls there. They need to signal me first that they even want to me to talk to them or otherwise it's just creepy if I go up to them without anything.

>>33646369
Well if you don't imitate conversation with them they will continue to ignore you.
>They need to signal me first that they even want to me to talk to them or otherwise it's just creepy if I go up to them without anything.
This is incorrect. /You/ think you'll be creepy. Are you creepy?

This smells like a howie thread to me. Haven't I seen this one before?
>girls ignore me
>no i refuse to talk to women first
>girls are ignoring me because pphtttpptt not because i refuse to talk to them

>>33646296
>They need to send signals to you first or else you'll just get rejected or you are labeled as a creep.
The only signals they need to send you are willing to engage in a conversation beyond light pleasantries. If you talk to a woman and she seems genuinely interested in chatting with you, that's interest enough to ask out on a casual date. Take her to do something you'd want to do anyway, go see a movie or get lunch, something that you can enjoy just fine on your own if she says she can't. Just stop getting in your own head about women, dude. They're not that complex.

>>33645844 (OP)
That is the perfect ass.

Telling you tools now. That is the perfect kind of us you want to stick your dick in. Her face doesn’t even matter with a body and ass like that.

>>33646369
Ah, you're one of those.

>>33646290
this, if you are scared of hardcore rejection and social shunning (and desu some miscalibrated people should be), you just try to always maintain plausible deniability. Try organising events with men at first, so it will be fine to also invite women. From there, 1 on 1 time with people comes naturally.
>Nothing ever develops except you just seeing them 1x a week at the group.
this will already make you more attractive over time due to the mere exposure effect. But obviously you should also strive to become good at the hobby or trying other ways to gain social status.
>so you keep them at a friendly arms length.
Make a point of repeatedly talking to a single person at these events. If she is receptive, you can escalate after a few weeks. The next step is to somehow spend some time outside of the club
>Hey, I'm also active in this other community and think you might like it too, care to join me next week?
If running/ dancing and the situtation fits:
>I'm trying to buy shoes but am totally clueless, you can help me out?
>We both have shit shoes, do you want to go to "store" next week an buy some together?

This worked for me, I got a gf at 24 after being a KHHV. I'm kinda autistic but not especially ugly I think

>>33645964
You're severely underestimating how many people are just there to fuck, both boys and girls.

Hobbies build social circles and people with similar interest, Social Circles has always been the best way to meet people of the opposite sex. If you have hobbies you are meeting humans who have similar interest as you and likely there will be women in that mix that you can have organic convo with vs all the "I need to impress her" PUA monster shit, And a chick being out and about = she isn't a weirdo likely.

Ultimately taking things you like and finding related activities that involves other humans. Even if you aren't a social butterfly just being in proximity of humans with a similar interest keeps you from going crazy (and indirectly puts you in from of women who may share the same interest).

>>33645844 (OP)
You dont outright hit on them, you find additional mutual intetrests and see if they want to hang out outside of the hobby setting. Once you meet up outside of the group then you can then start hitting

>check out multiple different clubs at my college
>they either rarely meet or have barely any women in them
I go to them because I like them but I don't think it's actually a good method. Strangely enough I've had more luck meeting women online. I think women being more social media-brained then men makes it hard to get any small group interactions with them, they're generally all lost in the online crowd.

>>33647606
>clubs
>rarely meet
What are they, discord server clubs? Dafuq?

>>33647743
Some clubs just kind of plod along
I guess there's also like... knitting clubs I could go to, but yeah I'm not that desperate

>there are at least a few women at my gym who have given me nonverbal cues, should be an easy green light
>I might even have a simple conversation topic or question is could lead with for some of them
>however they also wear headphones and gravitate towards the edges and corners away from most of the non-leg equipment
So how do you approach when they're giving the universal "dont interrupt me" signal? Am I supposed to literally corner her and ask her to take her headphones out just so I can ask about her water bottle stickers?

>>33645844 (OP)
Something like dancing, or in my case and many others with BJJ/boxing/martial arts you're constantly seeing each other at least once a week and constantly pairing up so it would be weird/rude to not introduce yourself and make small talk with everyone.

I'm also more into intellectuals and alt types so I'm always hitting up record stores and book stores and secondhand shops where there's always something to talk about.

The trick to getting a girl is to be at a place doing a thing for yourself that you enjoy, and the fact that you can meet women there is just a side effect. When you're stiff and awkward at a thing you don't really enjoy, women pick up on that vibe real quick.

>>33648024
Yeah, let's say you are at a run club because you love running and are /fit/, have a happy warm vibe and chat with girls (also guys ofc). What exactly happens? Nothing. Over a long time you become acquainted and see each other once a week at the club but you will die alone because ... well ... nothing ever happens. I don't understand that.

>>33648052
You're asking me why you haven't married someone from your running club?

>>33645844 (OP)
The secret is being good looking lol or at least not bad looking. When I was in uni I was barely getting any matches on dating apps but the first time I went to a running club a woman went up to me and talked to me and it was pretty clear to me I could "meet" her. It's about being approachable too though, I was forcing myself to be sociable and talk to people so I was talking to a couple of guys when she joined the group to talk to me. If I wasn't making the effort to be sociable and just kept to myself in the running group I doubt she would have talked to me.

I'm some what of a fit guy. So I don't talk to woman unless I hear them compliment me.
Personally I suggest you do what I did when I was overweight. Don't bother with average woman they're poorly education, entitled and frankly most of them are incredibly dumb.

>>33645899
>if your entire happiness revolves around fullfilling the only biological function nature has given to you then you are wrong.
Are you retarded?

>>33648096
Ah, well, I am ugly. I honestly thought my personality has always been the problem but it's probably my ugly face and height (5'9").
>>33648128
I am a fit guy, not even somewhat, I am straight up muscular from gym and lean from running. No girl has ever complimented me or made any commenr about me entirely.
The more this thread goes on the more I am convinced to kill myself, I'll die alone.

>>33647606
That is weird chicks are everywhere in my colleges clubs. Have you tried the more girly hobby clubs like archery?

>>33648024
>I'm also more into intellectuals and alt types so I'm always hitting up record stores and book stores and secondhand shops where there's always something to talk about.

I have no reason to talk to that woman?

It all depends on how you approach things, but approach people with the intent to connect and share, not predicated on getting laid, and you’ll see an improvement.

I have salsa classes twice a week and joined a running club for fun six months ago. I joined with the intent of having outlets to help me lose weight—women are just a byproduct, and it’s been fun in every sense of the word.

If you get a cold shoulder, that reflects more on them than on you. At worst, you take a few steps forward and then step back to where you are now.

>>33645844 (OP)
Proximity.

>>33648164
5/9 is perfectly fine for a lot of women