Thread 33664762

I'm very tired bros. This is a hard post to write but I have to write it. I am a muslim asian person that grew up in the west, I have a muslim name but if I'm being dead ass honest - I've never been a true muslim. I've regularly missed prayers and NEVER done a full fast - only maybe 10-20 days , usually just on busy days where I work a lot I just skipped it.

BUT unlike my counterparts who actually went out and lived their lives at least:

I'm 27 and KHV (which is honestly meh at this point , who fricken cares IRL but its an important detail for this post) out of some misguided sense of loyalty to avoiding zina (pre marital sex) , the irony is I had a porn addiction as well so what the fuck was I on about?

Just cause I haven't physically done it I had some strange sense of relief when I've seen arguably thousands of women naked by this point over the years that probably did untold damage all on its own that would have been less severe if I just got out there when I was younger. I'm a fuckin hypocrite too.

And truly the loser of all worlds. Neither here nor the afterlife. I'm staring at the barrel of a failed career and everything simply cause I can't pick a fucking lane. My conscious does not allow me to be like some of these muslim bros that do every player/degenerate shit under the sun IRL but still go "alhamdullilah" - I WISH I could but I know I would only be lying to myself

cant u just get an arranged marriage

>>33664762 (OP)
The Muslims who go out and are players do not follow the creed, no matter how much they pray. Their sins separate them from God and cause them anguish. Do not be like that.

That said, we are all sinners before God; them with zina, you with pornography. Seek forgiveness from God and ask for His strength to avoid temptation.

Also, I am giving this advice as if you are a beliving Muslim, but that is another question you must ask yourself: do you believe? Do you believe God exists? Do you believe he made Mohammed his messenger? If not, then do not pretend. Acts of submission must be rooted in genuine faith

>>33664762 (OP)

I've tried to be a dilligent one , but it always fails and collapses (I have ADHD) and honestly I don't fit the islamic male archetype - classic man's man bearded guy with a booming voice and good muscle.

Nah senpai I'm a skinny dude like 5 6 5 7 and will never have that aura either. So its kinda like I'm forcing myself to be a part of something that doesn't really want me

But anyways, the reason I'm asking is cause I know virtue and goodness are the way for me. If materialism was gonna capture me it would have done so a long time ago.

But I can't honestly adhere to the 5X a day prayer! Or looking like a prototypical muslim. Which are such petty and shitty reasons alongside the desire of wanting a romantic connection

>>33664809
>do you believe? Do you believe God exists? Do you believe he made Mohammed his messenger? If not, then do not pretend. Acts of submission must be rooted in genuine faith

I completely agree with you desu. That's the thing , I actually love Islamic theology and Sufism works. BUT I am too weak to adhere to it especially living out here in the west. I have a very all or nothing mind - I like to see clear progression in what I do and a cohesiveness in my identity. But I feel like I have none of that.

>>33664879
If you truly believe, then you must make an attempt to adhere to the sharia. God knows we are weak and he knows that we will fail to follow him obediently. But we must try anyway. The most valuable tool here is prayer. We are weak, but God is strong and through Him we can accomplish anything. Pray and ask for his angels to assist you to submitting yourself to His will

>>33664762 (OP)
>wtf this book of rules from a thousand years ago isn't applicable to modern life
funny that
>being a loser
bound to happen when you're all mixed up like that
do your best for your own sake rather than for some guy and his rules

>>33664762 (OP)
I won't read invasive species threads. Return to Shitistan and marry one of your cousins.

>>33664762 (OP)
Do your research. Especially under Mecca. Nothing there.

>>33664879
Just switch from real naked women to hentai and you've gotten rid of one major dilemma. Since you are familiar with Sufism you know that the transition to heaven is a long process and feigning ignorance will only lead you permanently stuck.