Thread 33772536

last week I met a girl at my choir, It's a 10-week project. We sang together for 2 hours as part of the rehearsal, right after we got to talking. She was adorable, sang with me on the street like two weirdos, we bonded over the fact that we're both not professional singers but just goofballs who have been singing our whole lives, and that we love singing in public just for fun and aren't ashamed of it, and that It's so nice when you meet someone else who does that. So, we kinda nerded out over meeting each other.
Then she said "I didn't know there were going to be drinks afterwards, I can't join today, but next week I might"

Okay, cool. So basically. I really love this girl's energy. She smiled from ear to ear the ENTIRE rehearsal, and just clearly enjoyed our singing so much. I share this passion for singing with her. And she's so kind. Even when she joined the whatsapp group, she made sure to let us know just how much she enjoyed this week's rehearsal, and that she's looking forward to next week. She's - ADORABLE.

I don't know much about her cuz our time talking was about 10 minutes. But my mind is pretty made up - I want to ask her out. Idk if she has a boyfriend or not, and I've been obsessively thinking over how I should word it, but I realized something:
When Friday comes, I'll do the rehearsal. After the rehearsal I'll talk to her, hopefully she comes for drinks, but even if not then I'll catch her after class and ask her. And if I can't catch her after class - I'll text her.

I thought that using the word "Date" is a bit too harsh for someone you met just 10 minutes ago and now seeing them for the second time, so, I thought long and hard about how I would phrase it, and I think I'll phrase it like this:

"I really love your energy Georgie, do you wanna go out for drinks or a walk?"

SO: Is it clear to this girl that a guy asking her out like this the 2nd time he's met her, has intentions that are more than just friendship? or should I use the word date?

>>33772536 (OP)
Don't obsess so much over it fren. It will be alright. Just talk to her, tell her you'd like to go for drinks or something fun with her, accept her answer whatever it might be.
I would not text her out of the blue about hanging out, you can wait until seeing her again. Good luck fren

>>33772536 (OP)
Look, don't overthink it; she either likes you or she doesn't. Keep it light: say something like "Do you fancy going for a drink some time?" If she says yes, great, if she doesn't, move on. But don't make it a big deal.

Can you live with either answer and not make it weird if she says no?

If yeah then just talk with her and say “I know a cool coffee shop close by lets go for some tea with honey (whatever you drink)” and then lead the way.

If shes down shes down if shes not shes not if its a maybe shes not.

With women anything but a strong yes is a no.

If a girl seems hot cold shes attention addict.

If a girl seems like she wants to but something stops her she has mental problems.

If a girl purposefully says yes then backs down then plays game she has mental problems.


And lastly

If a girl really likes you - you wont ever doubt it. Once you experience it few times, you will know. It feels nice stable safe and true.

If its not that, learn to let go.

>>33772622
>>33773089
>>33773428
Thank you so much friends, I'll respond to you collectively.
First of all you all seem to tell me that I need to calm down - I agree, thank you boys. I'm trying to not overthink this and let my feeling guide me more than my thought.
Second, it seems like you guys don't care about the method I ask, so just asking to hang out seems to be enough - And honestly, that's what I feel is right. To just ask her to hang out. I don't think I need to throw the word "date" around willy nilly with a person I barely know. She probably already will be aware that I'm asking her OUT aka asking her for the purpose of getting to know her to possibly develop something more.
Thirdly, two anons asked if I can live with the answer whether It's a yes or a no and to accept it - I fully agree. I really don't want to be a weird fella, I won't be. hot/cold is indeed an attention addict, I just had a bad experience with one from my dancing class - I didn't like it. She said yes to going out with me then never texted me. Then later asked me to go out with her - and cancelled on me.
And yeah you are SO right that if a girl likes me I'll just know.

So the conclusion to all of this -
I think come Friday, I'll hang out with this girl as much as possible, whether It's just a short chat after the rehearsal or a full evening having drinks. I'll try my best to ENJOY her company. And in the end I'll walk her to her bike (We're in the Netherlands) and tell her that I love her energy and ask her if she wants to go out for a drink or a walk together. And then try to lock down a day and time right there.
But I know for a fact that I can't back down on asking her, It's something I feel strongly that I must do. So I will do it, but I won't be weird about it. She is smart enough to know that "go out for a drink or a walk with me" means, for non-innocent purposes. So yeah. Thank you boys so much. I'll try my best.
And I'd appreciate anyone else's advice too if you have anymore!

>>33774037
Get her a small gift, nothing flashy something you wouldn't mind giving away even if she said no like some food item.

>"I really love your energy Georgie, do you wanna go out for drinks or a walk?"
the first part is pretty cringe i'd cut that out
i'd just do the second part, maybe start with a "hey..." and a VERY short pause, while giving fuck-me eyes

>>33776529
I genuinely do love her energy though, that's my reason for asking her out. It's intoxicating, she's got excited puppy energy like me xD

Can't wait for Friday already bros

>>33774037
It's nice to see a good fella like you. Good luck fren. If you keep your attitude sooner or later you'll find success with some girl, maybe this one, maybe another. Only time can tell

>>33776792
thank you, you're so sweet anon, you've made me feel genuinely good xD I did not expect that today.
I really hope this girl is it, but yeah, I realize there's a good chance that she has a bf. But I'm gonna try. And see. And if it don't happen then it is what it is.

I saw this youtube video of this really silly girl who hung out with this guy for 7 hours on a first date, she admits to hanging out in his apartment for a couple hours and "kissing him". Clearly she also fucked him. Perhaps many times. And yeah he didn't want another date with her.
She even wrote a whole ass reflection and reads it from about 10 minutes.
Like honestly, quite crazy what a guy with muscles and a job can do to a girl, jesus.
I aspire to be this chad lmao
buuuut I'm still overweight... So there's time still.
Lets hope Georgie likes me. She has acne and big glasses but she's so ADORABLE so I don't care. I hope she doesn't think that she's above dating a chubby dude.. but if she is, it is what it is. And I'll lose that weight eventually. I'm really going there. I lost 17 kg (37.5 pounds) since January.
But I still have 19kg (42 pounds) to go.
So yeah......

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly3PBCYgjfc
I just watched the whole video.. I wish I was a girl jesus christ. They can just get guys so easily.. the only thing stopping them is their own stupid choices and not being able to discern the good guys from the shit ones

But yeah it is what it is, I'll work out & hopefully get a girl eventually. But yeah, Friday, managing expectations. Hoping! and thank you again brother <3 I wish you the best of luck too. I'll update 4chan when I finally get a girlfriend. So far I had bachata girl, now choir girl... Now I just need an acting girl and the trifecta is complete lol.
I have no idea what Its like when a girl really wants you. I need to be hot to learn this. I see guys and girls all around me and the thing is, everyone in NL is ATLEAST healthy weight, and so many are fit, I'M the outlier!

bump because I want to know the results

>>33778575
You're really fucking cringe. How could you even watch that?
Your typing is gay as hell and your thoughts are immature
If you have to ask anyone, it's a no.

Get the fuck off the internet and start running every day, stop drinking sodas.

>>33781788
I already run every day and I don't drink soda because I'm not an average amerimutt

I check 4chan on the train on my way to and back from events, and before I go to sleep.

>>33781759
Thank you so much fren. Well tomorrow I had the opportunity to go to a party from the choir of Thursday, or to go to the rehearsal of the second choir on Friday anyway. And I'm deciding now to go to the rehearsal of Friday anyhow. And hopefully run into that girl, and hopefully go have drinks together.
If she's nice, and we talk, I'll ask her out.
I'll definitely strike up a conversation, and hopefully things happen!!
Update will be tomorrow night. (It's 12:37AM here now, so.. Update in about 24 hours.
I hope it'll be a good update and not a "oh everyone went home and she had to go home so we all just went home" update.
Because I really want to love this girl.

>>33781759
Also forgot to add - hot af webm wtf...god.... Perfect

>>33772536 (OP)
Lol I posted this pic on here recently, you fucking mong lol

>>33784056
And?.. there are many pictures on this board, I just download beautiful ladies I see

>>33784056
>Nooooooo! You can't just post my heckin' wifearino!

>>33778575
Hi, sweet anon here. My gf broke up with me a couple of days ago. I feel awful. You seem like a young kid, don't commit the same mistakes that I did. You should not let your life depend on other people. My happiness was reliant on my gf, now that she's gone I feel very sad and anxious. It's nice to want to date women but make sure to take care of yourself first and foremost.

>>33784142
>>33784137
I didn't mean it like that, just thought it was funny

I hope I see that girl again so I can shoot my shot. I was able to get her Korean friends IG. Maybe that's the link

>>33786042
oh okay idk the story behind it, I was just downloading pic of random girl who seemed pretty to me, I hope you succeed but even if not - remember that there's so many girls out there and even when you're out there looking for a girl and it seems so uncertain, rest assured that there is also someone out there's who's looking for YOU :) that thought makes me happy.

>>33785032
I appreciate you sweet anon, and I'm so sorry that it happened to you.. that's really sad and I hope that you can find the strength to do a lot of things outside with new people so that you can hopefully talk about this and process it, & subconsciously you'll notice that you're not alone, & that there are many nice girls and guys out there.
I'm glad to know I have the energy of a young kid haha, in terms of dating IRL I am a young kid for all intents and purposes even though I'm 29, cuz I've never gotten a girl from IRL before. It always started online
My last gf was with me for 5 years, lived together for 4, and she cheated on me. I had to break up with her just a bit over a year ago.
I was also very sad and very anxious, very soon the sadness was replaced with deep loneliness.
Thank you so much for sharing your advice and positivity, I agree with you that Its important to be happy alongside your need to date, I'll even pitch in with my 2 cents:

There's nothing better you can do for yourself than to work out, lose weight, get fit, and wear good clothes and smell good. While going out for meetups and meeting new people.
I've just done it and I have to say, the 1st half a year after the breakup I made 2 cookies, and in the 2nd half up to right now - I've made several truck loads of hand made cakes, about 6000 of them. (In terms of progress xD)

In other other news... I got messaged by this RANDOM girl from out of NOWHERE. And she's super nice, apparently she's Jewish and she thought I might be too, and we started chatting. idk if god is sending me a gf or a terrorist, but yeah. Jesus!

It's a manipulative emotional larp. Just ignore it.

>>33786599
if my life sounds made up to you.. that either means my life is pretty exciting or that you can't comprehend so many things happening in such a short amount of time ;p
but I swear I go out to so many things every single day, every week feels like a year. And I won't stop until I have pic related xD and even then I won't stop. That's my lesson learned from my last relationship ;p

>>33786681
Honestly won't even read this garbage. Once I recognize the writing style I know it's all lies and there's nothing to be believed in it, this is written to manipulate emotions.

I won't eat your rotten food

>>33772536 (OP)
What is this website?

>>33787023
Truly terminally online

OP here for a final update to let the thread rest:
It might not be the most exciting ending, but I'll tell you what happened. She was very detached today, slurring her words and getting sentences wrong literally, and told me that she has a really big headache and that she's mega tired.
That, combined with the fact that I barely know anything about her yet, made me realize about myself that maybe I just feel the need to have a girl to obsess over and get disappointed over whenever I'm single. Like yes she's an extremely nice girl, she's lovely and lively and seems very happy despite going through hard things, but I didn't have that interest from her or that element of she seems interested in me or open for a connection. Trains were also very bad today and we had to carpool, so we didn't do drinks for that reason. But I got some promises from people to do drinks when we return in 2 weeks.
Although I know it's not the most exciting update, I did get an extremely valuable realization about my own process and bias - how I find a girl to get excited about and obsess and feel disappointment over, whenever I feel like I have nobody to do that to. That's what motivates me in life it seems. It's quite something.
Well, I'm still losing weight, still going out there. I did meet the Jewish girl from her randomly DM-ing me from a WhatsApp game group I was invited to by a friend from my acting group, and she's been mega nice so far. So hopefully something happens with that.
This concludes.. choir girl update. And already closed the business with bachata girl last week..
Honestly I feel like the only thing that will save me is the fact that I'm still losing weight, and soon I'll be traditionally attractive, then hopefully I can finally give you guys an update & I'll refer to myself as bachata anon & choir anon.
Thanks to everyone who gave me advice and support (I'm looking at you sweet anon <3) and I'll see you all when I come back with an update hopefully soon about getting a gf!

>>33772536 (OP)
Didn't read all the way.
Sooner the better. Women are extremely self concious and any hesitation on your part is seen as an attack on them or weakness on your part. One condition is if you build the romance where you spend increasing amounts of time together fostering intimacy then it is okay to ask her out later because it is implied you are taking her out already.
t. I have not touched a woman in 10 years