Thread 33871996

I constantly feel like a worthless piece of shit because of something I did (justifiably I believe). Six years ago I met an autistic woman on a dating app. We talked over a year, but she definitely seemed less intelligent than me and I kept it strictly as friends. A year later I went through a mental health spiral, and contacted her explicitly with the intention of being friends with benefits. Why I'm not sure, but I remember distinctly feeling worthless and pathetic at the time. We exchanged explicit pictures over a day/two days (I don't remember exactly, my memory is awful) but then I came to my senses, ended things politely, and blocked her. During the exchange I was pushy in what I thought, I suppose, was a flirty way but in hindsight was fucking gross ("aww c'mon show me more ;)" and shit like that). Nothing physical ever happened. I later deep a deep dive into her Facebook and learned that she was not just autistic, which I chalked a lot of her behaviors up to, but intellectually disabled. She held a job and was planning on moving out of her parents' place when I spoke to her, and we met on a dating app so I think she was capable of consent, but I still feel predatory and disgusting. I've never done anything like that since.

I feel constantly that I should be ostracized from society, that I should be abandoned by my friends/family (none of whom know about this), that I'm an awful human being. I don't know what to do with myself.

>>33871996 (OP)
You were weak and unwise but not actively evil. Try to forgive yourself for being imperfect. Resolve never to do anything like that again. If it would be appropriate (and not upset her more) apologise.

>>33872044
Even if I never do anything remotely like that again, I feel like I should be kept apart from society. Only a monster would do something like this.

>>33872056
What advice do you want

>>33872191
How to live with myself I guess? And also I suppose people giving their honest opinion of of I'm redeemable because I'm not so certain I am. Also I guess whether to tell people so they can make their own judgements about me and whether to remain in my life or not, and whether or not if someone told them this if they'd remain in contact because I can't imagine people would. I'm just a fucking mess to be honest.

>>33871996 (OP)
>During the exchange I was pushy in what I thought, I suppose, was a flirty way but in hindsight was fucking gross ("aww c'mon show me more ;)" and shit like that).
You were being a man and going after what you wanted.
You know betas complain that "only assholes get laid?" There's truth to that, and I'm not talking about guys who are "le confident and alpha." I'm talking about genuine scumbags, drug dealers, sex offenders, etc. People we used to kill en masse for just existing when Westerners lived in better times. But, they're low IQ, low inhibition, and greedy, so when they "push" women to have sex they're not burdened by conscience the same way you are.
You're a good person for feeling concerned about this, but you did nothing wrong. You're a man, she's a woman, you wanted her, she probably wanted you. Stop feeling guilty and just go find another woman who will give you more enthusiastic and explicit consent if that's what you want.
>intellectually disabled
All women are intellectually disabled, that's why they let homeless drug dealers hit while guys that might genuinely care for them are left jerking off.

>>33872230
Anon I don't think you understand: she was genuinely sub 70 IQ and for some fucking reason I went for it anyways. That's disgusting, isn't it? Like even if she was capable of consent that's awful.

>>33872356
Wrong thread.

>>33871996 (OP)
fucked up OP. she's literally retarded and you did this. fucking animal.

>>33871996 (OP)
Reach out and apologize you dumb fag

>>33872800
It's been years, and I don't know that she'd want to hear from me in the first place. Besides I unblocked her to try and do that years ago and I found I couldn't add her as a friend/message her, at least on Facebook. I deleted her number ages ago too.

nothingburger repost thread. kys for wasting your and our time with this.

>>33872838
Man I'm just spiralling. Cut me some slack.

>>33872890
bitch

>>33872890
bro I remember the last time you asked about this. No one here can absolve you because YOU are the one holding on to the guilt.

>>33873578
Because I'm a fucking monster and people should condemn me! Am I the only one who sees how absolutely fucking heinous what I did was? I should be shit in the street like a dog and people are basically telling me to be better and not do it again and let go of the guilt. I don't get it.

>>33873877
coward

>>33871996 (OP)
Yes, you did bad. But not mass-murderer-level bad. Even if you hurt her, she probably got over the pain long before you'll get over the guilt

>>33876779
No anon, this is definitely beyond the pale. He'll never have friends again if they find out what he did. Absolutely unsalvageable.

>>33871996 (OP)
Don't be such a bitch OP. I used to swipe right on all the girls in those electric wheelchairs. Seeing them drool on themselves while they flop around helplessly while I fuck them... thats the good stuff.

>>33871996 (OP)
Bro matched up with a 10/10 autistic woman and immediately used her a saddle. No matter how much I hate women, you are a fucking loser

Even if she had a normal amount of chromosomes she'd still be retarded.

>>33876895
She wasn't 10/10. She was literally intellectually disabled and none too pretty.

>>33877058
And? I want an autistic gf you sick fuck

>>33877075
>>33876895
dork

>>33877075
Predator.

>>33876961
Kek

she's too stupid to know and you're retarded for making a fuss about such a non issue

Holy shit anon you're a fucking monster.

>>33871996 (OP)
You know what are you getting out of this fantasy of being a rapist? You genuinely don't even know if you injured her she's probably just fine.

I think by holding this profound self-excoriating guilt you're refusing to confront the reality that you took something you thought you were above. You are choosing a false innocence over real self-love which would come from accepting that you're not above moral failure especially when everything goes fucking wrong. Just give up the innocence and realize that you're like everybody else and can break at some point. Once you do that you'll be able to start figuring out what you need to never break again.

>>33882724
I think you're making a fair point. Thanks anon.

>>33871996 (OP)
Love is love

>>33885577
Idk I think he's a monster.