>>33879821 (OP)
Because there is no pride in being NEET. You don't owe others anything - but you do owe yourself.
That guilt is because some part of you deep down knows you are fucking up. That you are in a period of your life, living in a way that is causing you regret. People can wrap themselves up anti-capitalist, anti-society rhetoric all they want to justify or even celebrate their position.
But ultimately that's just cope. You already know that you would be happier if you weren't living life the way you do. That really what you desire is self-esteem that you built from the ground up through working for it. You don't admire what you've became, you resent it.
My suggestion is to stop bullshitting yourself and pick up that tab you've been avoiding paying. Go handle business because currently it is handling you. You are fucking up your character build and being XP locked out of a shit ton of the better missions, quests and mini games available in this game. Pick a direction and start walking, I don't fucking care what it is.