Thread 33880928

Me and my gf got together a few months ago, we're both seniors in college and it's my first relationship.

We finally started getting intimate about six weeks ago and at first I was super thrilled to finally lose my virginity, but I quickly realized that I had a little bit of a problem in that I can't really control when I cum. I asked a couple friends of mine if it was normal to only last a few seconds, and they told me not to worry, that I was probably just nervous (which I was) and this happens to every guy their first time.

But it's been several weeks now and it still hasn't gotten any better. I've searched the web looking for strategies to hold it in, but so far their tips haven't worked for me at all. I think my diet and exercise regimen are pretty healthy, so is my sleep schedule. None of the recommended mental or physical techniques seem to help, condoms don't slow me down either and they also introduce their own host of issues too.

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She's been super patient with me so far which I really appreciate, but lately she's been less enthusiastic about sex and usually just changes the topic when I bring it up, so I kinda get the sense she's given up hope that I'll get any better at it. At this point I basically have to resort to entering her for literally a split second and then pulling out for a whole ass minute while she just sits there. Even when I do thrust, I always have to keep my strokes super light and soft, otherwise it feels too good and I get there right away. I basically feel like the opposite of the porn stars that can go super hard, long, and fast.

The more foreplay we do, the worse it gets, since it gives me even more time to get aroused. This one time we were kissing and got really into it, I actually spilled my load on the spot. She actually seemed pretty happy about it, but maybe she was just relieved she wouldn't have to deal with the inevitable letdown later on, because the look on her face is unmistakable every time, it's almost like she feels sorry for me.

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Also, her last ex looks like he's the fuckboi type who'd probably have a huge dick, and I've heard other girls gossiping that they enjoy sleeping with him. This makes my insecurities worse since I highly doubt she enjoys doing it with me given how shallow and slow I always have to be, especially if I don't really measure up down there either.

I have no idea how to broach the subject with her, since I can clearly tell she'd rather spare my feelings than embarrass me to my face, but at the same time I don't want it to cause more strain in our relationship down the line if she feels like we are sexually incompatible or something like that. I'm pretty much resigned to this being our reality forever, which isn't the worst thing in the world because I'm still having a lot of fun. But I feel super angry and disappointed at myself every time I cum which kinda ruins the whole experience, and of course I'm more worried about how I can make it more pleasurable for her.

Any advice from the guys (or girls) on this forum?

>>33880928 (OP)
Have you considered jacking off before you have sex with her?

>>33881226
Yeah I've tried that, but somehow masturbating while I have a gf just feels wrong, almost like cheating. Plus the sex feels uncomfortable afterward, not quite painful but hard to describe. And it doesn't even help me last that much longer, but sometimes if I'm lucky maybe I can get in a couple minutes of pounding before I cum.

>>33880928 (OP)
it’s over for you anon

OP you lost your virginity a little over a month ago. You're still young, and it usually takes years for men to develop the necessary endurance and experience to last long enough in bed anyway. Give yourself time and don't fret.
Now, the reason she finds your sex so unsatisfying isn't because you cum fast - it's because she doesn't get to cum at all. It takes women fifteen to twenty minutes on average to reach climax, and you can't last that long yet. It'll be hard to get her off if you're on the smaller side, but luckily there are other ways of doing it even if you're not packing down there, and you don't have to be well endowed for them. Learn to use your mouth, fingers, and toys. Be sensual with her and not just sexual. In fact, once she's satisfied she'll probably prefer that you don't take long to cum, and she'll be more responsive to your needs afterward anyway. Otherwise she'll be underwhelmed by your sessions until the end of time, regardless of how long you can last.
You also need to switch it up and try other positions. Cowgirl will help you last longer than you can in missionary for instance.
But the bottom line is, if you want her to treat you like a real man then you will have to learn to treat her like a lady first.

ur so hopeless u might as well cut it off already lmfaoo

>>33882098
>Learn to use your mouth, fingers, and toys.
She doesn't own any toys that I'm aware of. Which ones can reliably help with the task?

Also, read what I said above about foreplay. I can maybe actually last at least half a minute inside her if we start without much of a build-up, though we've only tried it once and she prefers to warm up a fair amount beforehand.

The other thing is I don't know how to identify whether or how many times she's cumming at all.

>Cowgirl
We've tried it already, but I actually can't last as long this way. For some reason it just feels way too good for me and I always cum in the first few seconds. I think it's because I don't get to control the speed or pace at all so I can't stop or pull out when I'm getting close, and she always goes too fast for me.

>there are other ways of doing it if you're not packing down there

Size doesn't matter, though.

>Size doesn't matter
cope

>>33882178

You can't tell when she's cumming??

>she prefers to warm up first
No Shit Sherlock.

>>33882314
>You can't tell when she's cumming??
Don't girls sometimes fake orgasms though? How am I supposed to know for sure?

>>33882396
If you're fucking her her pussy will tense and contract. Ive made my girl do that a few times and it's made me cum instantly as well.

If you're eating her out you'll know because same as us it becomes painful for them to keep going.

>Don't girls sometimes fake orgasms

You gotta get a lot more familiar with her personality and physiology mate.

>>33882420
>it becomes painful to keep going
I thought people were telling me that girls can cum multiple times in a row, should I not be trying to make that happen with her?

>I've made her do that
Do you have any particular tricks for this?

>>33882464
>get more familiar with her personality and physiology.
How? What about her physiology do you think I'm missing?

>>33882649
>I thought people were telling me that girls can cum multiple times in a row
They can but it terms of clit stimulation it hurts immediately after. Like if she cums and you just don't stop it'll hurt.
>Do you have any particular tricks for this?
She can only cum from penetration in missionary. I do quick deep thrusts upwards if that makes sense.

>>33882774
>in terms of clit stimulation it hurts immediately after. Like if she cums and you just don't stop
How long should I wait before she's ready again? Or are you saying I should keep going with something else?

>She can only cum from missionary
Do you know why?

>quick deep thrusts upwards
How long does this usually take in your experience? I can barely ever last a few seconds doing that no matter what angle I use, and I don't know how to get the positioning quite right anyway.

>>33883194
>How long should I wait before she's ready again?
You don't, she got hers. It's sexo time.
>She can only cum from missionary
>Do you know why?
I think because it hits her gspot.
>How long does this usually take in your experience?
Sometime 30 seconds sometimes maybe a minute and a half to 2 minutes. A lot of the time she doesn't. Women don't reliable cum the way we do.
>I can barely ever last a few seconds doing that no matter what angle I use
Physical fitness is important, you don't have to be an athlete but being healthy is really important. You could try doing kegels but do not overdo them, you could make it worse. I think it's largely a mental issue though. Cumming too early creates an anxiety loop where you do it every time and it just makes it worse and worse. I've struggled with the same thing.

Focus on the act itself, don't think about how your dick feels or about lasting and not cumming. Focus on fucking her, look at her tits, look her in the eyes, grab her hips when you fuck her from behind, focus on the plap plap plap noise it makes. Focus on enjoying the fact you're fucking your woman, hone in on dickin her down and that should help. It's about the journey, not the destination.

>>33881283
i have a degree in innovating stupidity- you're not that good at it.

>I actually can't last as long this way. For some reason it just feels way too good for me and I always cum in the first few seconds
thats odd

>>33885034
>that's odd
Why? I've always cummed way too fast every time she's been on top. I suppose we could try it again, but I don't see any reason why it would work any better for me now.

>>33884827
>Physical fitness is important, you don't have to be an athlete but being healthy is really important.
Yeah I think this describes me pretty perfectly, I'm no athlete but I think I'm generally quite fit and live a healthy lifestyle. I definitely have more of an endurance runner kinda build than a bodybuilder tho, I dunno if that makes a huge difference here.

>I think it's largely a mental issue though. Cumming too early creates an anxiety loop where you do it every time and it just makes it worse and worse. I've struggled with the same thing.
Yeah you're probably right about this, but I have no idea what to do about it. Have you found any other good ways of dealing with the mental side of things?

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>>33884827
>don't think about how your dick feels or about lasting and not cumming.
It's so hard not to, this is always in my mind :(

>You could try doing kegels
Yeah I've tried all the mental and physical techniques people have mentioned, none of them seem to make a difference for me. Sometimes I try to distract myself by thinking about boring things instead of focusing on the moment, but it barely helps me last any longer. Also it just feels counter-productive to me because I do want to give her all my attention in the brief times we get to be intimate together rather than being somewhere else mentally.

>Focus on the act itself. Focus on fucking her, look at her tits, look her in the eyes, grab her hips when you fuck her from behind. Focus on enjoying the fact you're fucking your woman, hone in on dickin her down
All of these things just make me cum even quicker, particularly the sensory stimulae (both visual and especially physical)

>the plap plap plap noise
Lol I force myself to go so slow that it doesn't make any sound at all. I have to hit it many times harder in order to hear it, so I usually don't. But sometimes I give in toward the end and go as hard as I can just to make sure she gets to at least feel *something*. Obviously I only get to enjoy a few seconds of that every handful of days (more like once a week lately) which is what makes it so frustrating for me.

>>33882774
>I do quick deep thrusts upwards if that makes sense.

how big r u bc i heard girls can only cum from penetration if u have 6 inches or more but idk if thats true or not

stop eating rd meat then

>>33885184
I'm 7x6. Can't comment on your size remark if that's true or not since I've never had a smaller dick but I think girth matters more than length.

Also how old are you? You type like a 14 year old.

>I'm 7x6
would that be 7 inches long and 6 inches around?

>>33886012
No, millimeters. I had to measure it with a micrometer.

>>33885711
>I'm 7x6. Can't comment on your size remark if that's true or not since I've never had a smaller dick but I think girth matters more than length.
NTA but are those your erect measurements anon?

>>33886158
No I actually prefer to fuck with a fully flaccid cock so I measured it soft

u just have to fuck her more often haha then u wont have a problem anymore =)