Thread 33882374

How do I do it? I'm socially inept from years of social isolation, I'm basically socially retarded at this point and need help. I want to be more charismatic and likable but it's really hard because I'm usually very awkward

>>33882374 (OP)
Watch movies, look up comments about them and imitate the characters people quote the most.

>>33882374 (OP)
I feel that at the time to learn on how to speak with people the only way to learn is to practice, you can practice a speech by reading out like, so you learn how to vocalize, but the only thing that will get you far is talking with people, try shit like discord if you're too anxious about face to face, but you have to have in mind that talking directly with another person is your best way to learn

awkwardness isn't natural it's something you impose on yourself with self doubt. autistic children that don't really care about social boundaries are outgoing as hell

>>33882374 (OP)
I knew a few people who were likely trying to do shit like this and they all sounded really unnatural. More people seem to be doing this as social media access is becoming more common, I think it's very obvious if you just repeat phrases those people use but nobody's going to point it out. If you want charisma, just ask people honestly instead of being two faced, it's really easy to spot it out.

>>33882374 (OP)

If you are serious about this, the best advice I have is to get yourself a job working in the hospitality / events sector or busy retail. Particularly casual / temporary or "agency" style work where you aren't having to truly infiltrate a social hierarchy but are rather just gapfilling / numbers for a huge industry. Think things like massive football stadiums or music festivals, rather than an intimate bar with 4 regulars. Think your biggest supermarket chain rather than a small mom n pop. The bigger the company / body of staff, the better.

You aren't doing it for the money. You are doing it for the social grind. It's a constant conveyor belt of small interactions with customers and staff. Over time you build confidence in being present for people, in being friendly and each interaction is a fresh opportunity - so if the last one failed, there's no "drag" it's just insight. You learn small talk through small interactions. You learn socially appropriate banter through worksafe interactions. You learn charisma by taking notes on others - a rare insight you will get a lot of through exposure to huge numbers of people regularly. Every shift is a fresh opportunity. It will also give you access to coworkers, who sometimes, can turn out to be kind of cool and maybe wanna hang out with you.

I did these types of jobs from 19-27 and it took me from a clearly shut off, depressive, repressed autistic type to someone who frankly people act suprised when they hear I've got a diagnosis. I learned the character. I studied the mask. I refined and practiced and studied through exposure to all these interactions. In the process of doing so I began to develop my own flavour and style. At first it was very rigid and performative. After a while it felt natural and true, although still admittedly forced because I think inherent to me is the baseline of someone who doesn't want to put energy into body language, cadence or emotion.

I really hope you consider it.

>>33882537
what kind of jobs are like this that i can do part time on the side? im a full time wagie, my job has good money but low socialization and i need to grind social

>>33882860

Sir are you serious right now? It's literally the opening line of my response.

Fucking bar work. Events hospitality staff. Caterers, retail staff, plate servers at events, silver spoon service, ticket guy, general events staff.

Easy jobs to pick up and play part time, casually on the side, at the weekends etc.

>>33882537
This doesn't help. Working in retail doesn't make social interaction easier. It'll make you better at dealing with karens and tolerating your coworkers but that's such a small part of what being social is. The work put in isn't worth the little reward

>>33882978

Skill issue.

Smoke break / lunch room conversations are small talk to a tee. Learning how to interact with a wide cast of society and seem pleasant. Small talk with customers. Confidence being in public settings. Composure interacting with seniority.

All soft skills that contribute to a far bigger picture. The opportunity is a gold mine if you choose to grind it properly. Walk in small, come out tall. If you fail to see the utility in the situation then that's on you for not being able to skill mine.