Thread 33927125

>be 18 a few years back
>come out of relationship that didn't work out
>Covid made end of high school a mess
>Oh it'll be fine, I'll have a fun time in uni, get my driver's license, get a cute khv wife and make a bunch of money after my bachelor's or master's degree
>Sudden 3+ years of chronic sickness
>Spend my days fighting symptoms in bed, wondering if it's still worth continuing to live
>Decide life is probably worth living
>Docs finally find the cause and cure me, life is colorful again
>Doing driver's license, close to finishing up bachelor's, and have a small job now
>But
>People still look down on me and make me feel like a failure because I'm far behind
>Bad grades from past years seem getting into a master's program or getting a good job seem impossible
>Feel like I'm too old to find a virgin wife

Was fighting to continue living really worth it? Should I have just killed myself considering it seems like my sickness also stole my chance at achieving my dreams?

No, your dreams are just naive and you're making light of survival, especially when you're a little weirdo that uses terms like "khv wife"

>>33927125 (OP)
>>People still look down on me and make me feel like a failure because I'm far behind
They cannot feel empathy for the time you lost because to them falling behind for is a moral failure, the grind is quite literally all they know. Mindless husks who were drained of all life and empathy by tedium and propaganda, you shouldn't hold their judgement in any regard. (they didn't develop this judgement themselves anyway)
>should i have just killed myself
Should the tortoise have just killed himself? Or should he have kept his steady pace?

>>33927125 (OP)
it's in your head, you got so much time you can make up those 3 years 10 times if you really want

>>33928818
>the grind is quite literally all they know
I know the grind is retarded and worker ant mentality makes you an NPC and yada yada, but man, I'm a hard worker, I really am. I worked so hard these past few semesters, I practically finished a 6 semester course of study within 3 semesters, but it'll still end up looking like 10 semesters due to being half dead on 6-7 of those. I don't want to get away from the grind, I wanted to be recognized for my excellence at it but it now feels like a distant dream.
>you shouldn't hold their judgement in any regard
Maybe. But their judgement ultimately ends up deciding my career and future life, which is depressing to say the least.
>>33928828
I really hope you're right. I'm doing my driver's license right now and my instructor won't stop asking when I'll be done with uni and when I'll start earning money. "It's cute when high schoolers talk about being unsure what they'll do, but you're 22 already, it's really time to start earning money past your cute mini job". Fuck you man, fuck you. It's already a miracle to me I can get up and go to my lectures and then work a shift at my job, just fuck you. I'm trying to get there okay.

>>33928818
Also forgot to add
>Tortoise, moves slow but wins either way
I hope you're right, but the tortoise wasn't disqualified in the middle of the race for not getting to the halfway point fast enough. What if my grades won't be enough for a good master's program? What if I'll be too old to find a girl that fits my criteria? I also do natural bodybuilding and had given up on my dreams of ever stepping on stage, what if I'm too old to actually be competitive and win a local show now? I truly hope I manage to make it, and if I ever do, I will think back of your post and wonder why I didn't intuitively trust your words but man is it hard to do so.

>>33928941
it probably doesn't compare to chronic illness, but i lost quite a few years to mental illness and ended up pretty far behind. It's hard to appreciate how far you've made it when it feels like you're running out of time. I'm proud that i made it out alive, but even i'm occasionally paralyzed by terror and grief at the years i lost.
You could have just stagnated forever, but you're moving faster than you were a few years ago, you're further ahead than you were a few years ago, you're more determined than you were a few years ago. You're probably pretty far ahead of your peers in those areas.
>>33928948
>what if my grades
then you'll try again and do even better than you did the first time.
>what if i can't find a girl
you might just have to get over the virgin thing. Women like sex, they can't all wait around for you to show up and bless them with your penis. It won't be her first time ever, but it'll be her first time with you.

>>33928941
>But their judgement ultimately ends up deciding my career and future life
Start your own business if you are seriously this worried about it.
You had a medical reason. You can easily turn the fact that you beat a life threatening illness into a reason people respect you.

>>33927125 (OP)
>is it worth it?
always

>>33929439
>then you'll try again
Idk if I'm allowed to retake exams, I don't think so. I gotta make the cut or I'm just not getting into a (decent) master's program.
>get over it
Nuh uh. If the desire for a perfect partner kept me alive then, that's all the more reason to keep it now :3
>>33929525
I hope so. Most people I interact with seem to immediately think I'm lying or exaggerating for some reason and it makes me feel hopeless.
>>33929539
Thanks anon

>>33932009
>Most people I interact with seem to immediately think I'm lying or exaggerating for some reason
What 70 years of pissing calvin core judeo-libertardian rugged individualism does to a social fabric