Basically, I feel like I need to kill myself.

Not like I want to, but feel the need to repay for everything. I feel like I've done so much bad and so little good.

I need some tips on how I can get out of this state of mind. It's not my first time and I'm scared that my brain will soon follow through with it.

What do I do? What can I do to help myself when I have this episode again in the future?

>TL;DR HOW DO I NOT FUCKING KILL MYSELF

>>936045727 (OP)
>I feel like I've done so much bad and so little good.
Then do more good if it will make you feel any better.
>I need some tips on how I can get out of this state of mind.
Stop stressing, and appreciate the moment. Let go of your own guilt, or come to terms with it, and realize you've changed.
If you already understand what you did was wrong, and you won't do it again, then it's fine to let it go. Don't forget or make the same mistakes again, but don't let it burden you either,

>>936045842
I do my best to be at my best, even when I'm at my worst. And yet, I feel like everything that goes wrong is because of me. Everything.

I know it's not like that actually, but I can't get the thought out of my head. So many things have gone wrong.

Every single time I think things are finally straightening out and it will be the moment where things will get better for good, I get struck back down to whee I was earlier. I'm tired.

You sound mentally ill. I advise medical intervention.
Death will not change the past it will only affect the future.
If you are causing bad things unintentionally and they are unrelated to your personal defects it can't be helped and you shouldnt concern yourself with it. If it is due to personal defects then identify them and strive to rectify those flaws.
If you wish to do good then try to do so. We are all limited by our ability however You should only concern yourself with if you made a sincere effort and not the result.
Trying to be a good person is an exhausting and often masochistic task. If you try to do that when the opportunity arises you are already doing better than most.

>>936046331
Oh. Thats just life. We all do what we can and try to make the best of it. We stumble along and hope for a good outcome. Try not to let it get you down. Its about all we can do. Don't be shy about asking for help. The world is not a helpful place but maybe someone knows the right direction to point you in and is willing to say.

>>936046363
I did try to get help, but only got prescribed SSRIs that only make me miserable.

>>936045727 (OP)
>>TL;DR
First, stop this bullshit. We can read here on /b/.
Second, enough with the /r/eddit spacing.
Third, being a /r/eddit faggot, you might want to become an hero.

>>936046508
I know it's just life. I keep having these thoughts. Though, I did not let them get to me earlier, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep deflecting them before something slips in and I end up doing something.

>>936046508
Aren't you a sweety
>>936045727 (OP)
Anon I go through the same thing but not the needing to die more the wanting to die it's been an ongoing issue but yk something always comes along that distracts me from how much my life sucks, as for doing bad I consider myself born evil, I do a lot of criminal shit but I accept that, but even as evil as I am I'm not all bad I've saved people, helped people, done a lot of good, shit happens but every time I'm about to blow my brains out some random person comes along or some other distraction. So hey how about you accept your faults and do something interesting to take your mind off of the bad stuff? Start art maybe make some new interesting porn? or take up an instrument? start coding make some cool app, idk do something distracting.

>>936046821
That's the old /b/ I love

>>936046803
Report the effects to your doctor. They will likely try to change the ones you take. Get some sunlight on your skin as not doing so contributes to a bad mental state.

>>936046331
>I feel like everything that goes wrong is because of me.
You need to learn to love and appreciate who you are, and when you catch yourself putting yourself down, focus on something good or positive in your life instead.
Take moments every day to be grateful for what you have, and be willing to let go of the things you cannot change. Stop dwelling on mistakes, and move past the past.
>I know it's not like that actually
>I get struck back down to where I was earlier
Learn to roll with it. Laugh and move on. There are high and low point sin life, but there's no reason to dwell too long on either.
-
Be willing to learn from your mistakes too, and see them as partial positives, as in "at least I know better now". You should learn, and admire even the bad moments, and move past them if they are not part of your present life.
If you have mistakes in the present to work on, then do so, but don't look at it as something awful. See it as a chance to learn instead.
be forgiving of your flaws and mistakes, and be willing to turn them into lessons which guide you forward.

>>936045727 (OP)
There is no sinner without a future

And there is no saint without a past.

I dont expect you to understand it fully, or to even *believe* in a higher power, but understand that there *is* something greater than us.

If you were of the world, then the world would love you- but ye are not of this world, for [the lord] has chosen ye, therefore the world hateth you.


Give it time. You still have tomorrow, afterall.

>>936047614
I love this post. Not op anon, but I find great meaning in your words.

>>936045727 (OP)
you have to learn how to forgive and love yourself unconditionally

its basically just radical self love and acceptance

>>936047614

LOL @ you not realizing 'jesus' never existed

there *is* a higher power

PROVE IT...... gullible idiot

gullible fool

>>936045727 (OP)

that faggot Jesus is responsible for so much unhappiness, even though he never even existed

That doesn't prevent his followers from making themselves miserable based on their bullshit belief system

I think you should all consider putting a gun in your mouth tonight

Atheists are making a lot of sense

>>936047614
Let the Jewish religion go, anon. We have our own religions and gods.

>>936045727 (OP)
If you do, your story ends. Do you want it to end like this? I have lived a long time. Most of my life has been shit, with moments of happiness strewn through. I thought about ending it more than once. Came close twice. Once I took Xanax with vodka. My father found me, got my stomach pumped. Years later held a gun to my head for twenty minutes, crying, raging. Blasted a hole in my wall. Realized I didn't want my story to end that way. It's many years later now, and only the past six months have been truly good. But now that life feels sweet, I am glad I made it to this point. It does happen. Hopefully earlier for you than me. But being here is worth it when it does. Hold on Anon. See your story through.

>>936048061
>>936048357
>>936048542
>>936048461
It is later than you think, anon. Change your ways while you are still young.

OP, consider the virtues of charity, chastity, patience, temperance and mercy. These virtues come from above and after some struggle, you'll find that life is easier to digest, even if you dont believe in their divine nature.

Be wary of hedonism, overindulgence, lust and envy- these are the trappings of the secular world.

May the mercy and grace of our lord be with you all.

>>936048872
I rebuke and reject the kike god.

>>936048872
>chastity
GTFO

>>936045727 (OP)
Know that pain won't last forever. It will pass. Focus on something else, what you like. Interests. Block out investment in your suffering, don't let dreams die undreamt or unaccnowledged. Good things to interact with, notice, be attuned to, aware of.

Sick on a boat get to the bow. Let the spray of waves waken you to the world. Up and down conquering complacency, saying what's unfair, unright is in the way between you and destinations. Or more truly that you can't be defeated, not by all else, not by yourself.

Belong in the wild, and in the calm, sure in either. Trying not to miss out on important memories. Moments that can't be had again, what is recalled isn't as confronting, isn't chance of catastrophe controlled countered and surmounted by you actively.

You need to be living to feel mastery. Or large in a incomprehensible eternity, taken in in tiny parts too larger than can be addressed entirely.

Enjoy what's approved. Yours inside and outside somewhat. Part of you. Obligation to pair what they mean to you with what is out there. Like you're electricity, passion, messages between pairs. Or them all your life. What keeps you alive. Calls for yorlur consciousness. Carve more for them, more time where you sight them eyes or asleep. Pass on sentiments you achieve, pay back beauty for being backdrop to your life. Make it right.

>>936048692
Thanks. I will try my best to push through with everything again.
My whole life feels like watching a shit, edgy movie, I just hope for a twist before the credits roll

>>936049297
<3