By Mark Brown, Staff Writer
June 24, 2025

LOS ANGELES — In an unprecedented and surreal turn of events, multiple unidentified spacecraft have descended upon Los Angeles, plunging the city into chaos and wonder. Eyewitnesses report seeing massive, glowing vessels hovering above iconic landmarks like the Hollywood Sign and Griffith Observatory, casting eerie lights across the night sky.

The first sightings were reported at approximately 2:30 a.m. PDT, when residents in Echo Park and Downtown Los Angeles described a series of pulsating, iridescent objects moving silently through the air. "It was like nothing I’ve ever seen," said Maria Gonzalez, a barista who captured video footage of a saucer-shaped craft emitting a low hum near City Hall. "It just floated there, like it was watching us."

Local authorities have urged residents to remain calm as emergency services scramble to respond. The Los Angeles Police Department has cordoned off several areas, including Wilshire Boulevard and parts of Santa Monica, where smaller craft reportedly landed. Mayor Karen Bass issued a statement at 8:00 a.m., declaring a state of emergency and advising citizens to stay indoors until further notice.

>>936205613 (OP)
it's pretty much what it sounds like, space ships

>>936205613 (OP)
Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started, wait
The earth began to cool, the autotrophs began to drool
Neanderthals developed tools
We built a wall (we built the pyramids)
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries
That all started with the big bang (bang)
Since the dawn of man is really not that long
As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song
A fraction of a second and the elements were made
The bipeds stood up straight, the dinosaurs all met their fate
They tried to leap but they were late
And they all died (they froze their asses off)
The oceans and Pangea, see ya wouldn't wanna be ya
Set in motion by the same big bang
It all started with the big bang
It's expanding ever outward but one day
It will pause and start to go the other way
Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard
Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger bang
Australopithecus would really have been sick of us
Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)
Religion or astronomy (Descartes or Deuteronomy)
It all started with the big bang
Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology
It all started with the big bang
It all started with the big bang