Can someone tell me how to shoplift?
-Yes I'm serious Send me tutorials

>>936206581 (OP)
Step one: steal shit
Step two: don't get caught

>>936206581 (OP)
Stop being a parasite.

When I was an alcoholic I would just sneak the bottles underneath my jacket and then just buy a single chocolate bar or something at the self checkout

>>936206581 (OP)
Take a bag w you and actually pay for something before leaving ( could be smthing small or cheap)
Depending on where you want to shoplift at you may wanna check around for blind spots before going in to do it
Also keep you cards or cash in a separate pocket from the stuff you got, just to be safe
Maybe find someome who is willing to join with you; that way one of you keeps looking out and the other gets the stuff
Not from experience of course just thought these were pretty obvious things to keep in mind

>>936209809
This also works lol

>>936206581 (OP)
Be black in CA. Walk into store. Pick up something you want. Walk out of store.

>>936206581 (OP)
Finally.
And actual /b/ thread.

#1. Enter store.
#2. Select item(s) to steal.
#3. Exit store.
#4. Be sure to take selected items with you when exiting the store!

I used to steal a fuck ton from the store. Get a jacket that can be tightened at our waist, then slide bottles or food or anything insdie your jacket and just let it sit in your jacket. Buy something or just sya you couldnt find your supposed item and leave. If they didnt see you or they do not have cameras you are fine and have free shit. BUT camera systems are getting better with ai and new detection so a lot of the times the people already know you are stealing so be careful. You are a bit too late to steal because it is a lot harder now. Just get money and buy

>>936206581 (OP)
go into store, pull fire alarm or scream ALKAH ACKBAR as loud as you can! People will start panicking and run towards the exits, use that time to steal stuff. Run around the store so you blend in and it looks your panicking too! Grab stuff as you run around but don't get csught by any remaining people.

Be black.
Go to California.
Steal under a hundred dollars at a time.

>>936206581 (OP)
Step 0: Learn the basic layout of the store and get an idea of what you can take and how easy it would be to run out with it.

Step 1: Get a mask. Make it funny.

Step 2: Get a pair of gloves with some good grip but not too bulky.

Step 3: Strip naked besides the mask and gloves.

Step 4: Slather yourself liberally with cooking oil.

Step 5: Run into the store and bee-line straight to what you wanted to steal.

Step 6: Nab it.

Step 7: Run as if you were being pursued by Stalin chasing you down with a syringe full of AIDS in his hand. Stop for nobody.

Bonus: Works better if you have a throbbing erection while doing all of this.

>>936213493

>i-it-it's a joke!
>n-n-no it's not!

pick an item you want at target

>>936206581 (OP)
I really doubt you could hang with the big frogs, kid. So stay at home tadpole. I am not telling you any of my tricks. Even if I did I would be giving you tools that you cannot use.

>>936206581 (OP)
Just be black and no one will stop you
Remember to scream and repeat yourself a lot if anyone complains

>>936213152
>Steal under a hundred dollars at a time.
950$ is the limit per steal

>>936206581 (OP)
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHERBOY?

>>936206581 (OP)
Take out your phone
Steal something from a store
If you get caught pretend like its a prank for tiktok

You can literally get away with murder so long as you yell 'ITS A PRANK BRO'

>>936206581 (OP)
If you have to ask your either
1. A dumb cop looking for people aiding and abetting charges
2.a person that shouldn't be stealing in the first place

>>936214909
I used to get off by giving blowjobs to the security guy

>>936211204
Gonback to africa.
>>936206581 (OP)
Don't. Raid bins if you are broke.

>>936216257
What does raid bins mean exactly?