>be me
>aroace guy (aromantic asexual)
>pretty much never had a genuine crush on anyone, never really wanted to have sex much or anything
>i just wanna be good friends with people
>im a pretty calm but affectionate person
this has been happening so much - i start talking to a girl, because shes a really nice person to be around, we talk a lot and then a few weeks later she tells me she has a crush on me and i have no clue how to explain. I genuinely just want to have fun and be a friend to relax with.
>Anyone have any tips on how to deal with this? I have zero clue how my relationships with others will look like in the future but im just confused.
(Pic unrelated, i just like it)

Delete thread go away NOW

Unless sex grosses you out just be close with her, just because you don't or don't think you feel the same way don't mean you can't do stuff and get along.

>>936343427 (OP)
It's socially acceptable to simply say "I'm not dating right now," or "I'm not looking for a relationship at this point." Having to explain the inner workings of your soul to someone you've only known for a few weeks sounds exhausting.
The nice thing about these responses is that you don't burn any bridges, but don't lead anyone on either. If you say you are "focusing on yourself for a while" you might be able to convey that your lack of romantic feelings isn't personal, though it does lead on a bit.
You can always share more once you establish a more substantial friendship.

>>936343427 (OP)
do you like kissing these people? scott alexander is an aromantic, he's not crazy about sex, but he likes making out.
what to do when you're aromantic and still want to fuck very badly? that is my particular problem.
i seriously wish i didn't desire sex, you have no idea how much time i waste jacking off.

>>936344954
FetLife might be a good place for you to start a search. Or just make it clear in dating apps that you're only looking for FWB/NSA short term relationships.
It'll take awhile for such a wide stitched net to catch anything but you might, it's one of those set it and forget it type things, without being so inactive that it starts filtering you out of other people's results.

FetLife might have people in your area you can interact with directly, join local groups that align with what you want, seek out sex events or community. It's worked so far for me. Mostly in the apps, but for both, I think as long as you're not completely emotionally void or un-empathetic then you should be able to connect.

Most women still want you to be friendly, nice, and flirtatious so they can get something out of your connection besides just sex, dick is dick, and they can get that literally anywhere, it's whatever other charm that's attached to it that they want to fuck, at least from what I've seen.

>>936346470
yeah i'm a charmless bastard so i don't think it will work for me.
i feel like i would be less of a charmless asshole if i had some affection in my life... you see the problem here.
i'm resigned to just paying for it. economics is dicey right now but i have before and will again. just not as often as i would like to.

ww