>>936853307 (OP)It is a good thing to take the blue pill if you are not prepared to face the unknown world, which is beyond the clarity of a simple life. Much hardship comes from taking no pill once you have seen the matrix and found it horrific. The journey you take now is the journey I have taken. I am medicated and still aware that life can be different and chaotic. I live as an example of one who found the red pill to be all he could take for many years. This was chaotic and caused me many problems.
You should be proud of yourself for knowing that you require the pill to save your soul from torment, not many do know that. Perhaps you are more aware and more capable than you know, somewhere deep inside resides the strength to see that you can get exactly what you want with focus.
The medical profession wants everyone to be like you; you are one step ahead of the curve.
Be at peace, brother in chains.