Is it possible to get over someone you truly loved?

I recently got broken up with by the only woman I've ever loved, and the only one that's ever loved me. It was a messy situation, but long story short, I said some things I shouldn't have, and it just ended.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over the regret of not having a life with her. Of ruining my only chance at love. It feels like love as a concept is tainted by her memory, and even now, months later, I'm still heartbroken and miss her daily. The thought of her being happier with someone else just kills me. We had such a good thing going, and then everything fell apart. It wasn't entirely my fault, but I didn't help. It was just shitty.

I'm worried that I'll never recover, and I'll never be able to love again. Has anyone gone through something similar, or is it true that it'll always be painful?

>>937130471 (OP)
Yes, once you meet a new girl you’ll forget all about it.

>>937130497
I'm not so sure that's gonna happen at this point. It was a miracle that I even met her, and since she left, I'm in an even worse spot than before I met her. Things went downhill fast. Now I'm jobless and an alcoholic.

>>937130471 (OP)
Yes, it's possible, but it can take years. It won't always be painful.

>>937130529
Well that is a bummer but a lot of jobless alcoholics find love so good luck out there!

Dunno really, sadly ive never had the experience of loving anyone.... 38 yo and never had a gf my whole life...
however, ive had experience in losing relatives (many, MANY have died from cancer) and it doesnt really get easier over time... well at least not for me anyway...
i can remember the exact days when dad died of pancreatic cancer 7 yrs ago now... EVERY little detail, it still hurts like hell!

>>937130471 (OP)
don't listen to the hugless kissless trannies in the thread.

Yeah you'll get over it. It'll just take a while. It usually takes half the length of the relationship. When you meet a new girl you like she'll flood your brain with oxytocin and you'll forget all about the other one.

>>937130794
It doesn't help that she's the only girlfriend I've ever had at 25 years old. I know that's relatively young, but I'm very isolated, awkward, and not sociable, so connections like that are very rare for me. It's so rare that I'd go so far as to say that being with her was the only time in my life I've been truly happy. I hope it can happen again.

>>937130996
That's the reason WHY it's so hard. She's your first. Everyone feels that way about their first. Most people just experience it when they're like, 16.

But there's a couple things here for you if you want to evolve:

>I'm very isolated, awkward, and not sociable

Those are self-limiting and self-deprecating beliefs. You don't have to be those things if you don't want to.

>Connections like that are very rare for me.

Correction -- it was the first time it happened. That doesn't make it "rare." You're 25. You're prime dating age.

>being with her was the only time in my life I've ever truly been happy

That means you need to work on yourself. If you're getting happiness from being in a relationsihp with another person, it's by definition a toxic relationship. Once you reach the place in your life where you realize you don't need a relationship, that's when you meet someone that will blow you away.

The best advice I can give you? Go here:
>>>/fit/76077351

Go through a fitness transformation like I did and you'll change your life.

>>937131461
I'm prime dating age, but I'm at rock bottom. I'm missing all of my best years and by the time my life is in order, I'll be past my prime, all of the women will be old or have kids, and I'm gonna end up a step dad. I threw my life away, man.

>>937130471 (OP)
stop being a pussy

you ever seen people, married for years, with kids, get divorced?

you problems are bitch pussy problems

just go find another girl, get over it

>>937131698
bro I just told you to shut the fuck up with the negative self talk. Here's what's up:

>I used to be a loser.
>got /fit/

Now I literally have more pussy than I can handle. It's incredibly easy and, the older you get, the actual easier it gets to meet quality women. I'm 35 now. I went from 220 lbs of fat to Pic related:


Here are your options:

>You start lifting weight, controlling your diet, and not being a whiny bitch about things. Your T raises and you join the rest of us who are killing it at life.

> You reach a point where you don't even need a relationship.

> You bang sloots constantly

> You meet a nice girl that's way better than the other one and settle down

> You be a pathetic loser crying about a relationship you had 6 years ago.

You can do whatever you want but you don't want to be the last guy.

OP is a troon

>>937130471 (OP)
>but long story short, I said some things I shouldn't have, and it just ended.
so, from your experience, what are the things not to say?

>>937131771
I'm not sure being fit instantly means "killing it at life." I know very fit people who have no job and no money. I'm also totally without skills, so a good job really isn't in the cards. Yes, obviously, being fit is better, but I'm not just gonna magically be having sex all the time or get money or find a new girl to settle down with. I'm antisocial and autistic.

I appreciate the advice, but I don't see my life being amazing like you suggest it could be. Wage slave at best.

>>937132234
>'m not sure being fit instantly means "killing it at life."

You are correct! However, when you start lifting, you become the best version of yourself. Your body and mind change.

> I know very fit people who have no job and no money.

>I'm also totally without skills, so a good job really isn't in the cards.

Not true! You have time to change little /b/ro! 25 is young enough that you could go to university or learn a trade. if you became a plumber or an electrician, you'd probably own a home by your 30s.


> Yes, obviously, being fit is better, but I'm not just gonna magically be having sex all the time or get money or find a new girl to settle down with.

You're not getting it. When you start lifting heavy weights, it makes changes to your body and mind. It won't suddenly make everything magically happen. But once I started lifting, I would up getting a much better job, meeting women more easily, and having more respect for myself.

>I'm antisocial and autistic

Stop with this! The only negative trait you're exhibiting is pussy like behavior. Nothing here suggests you're autistic. You don't have to be that way if you choose not to.'

Read the sticky and see!

>>937130529
>>937130996
>>937131698
>>937132234
don't listen to this guy >>937131771

i struggle with depression, self-loathing much like yourself and although it never goes away there is a way to manage it

become a wild card anon

put your loyalty entirely into your loved ones like friends and family who you care about, and disregard allegiance to anything else

never let them predict your next move, constantly shift and move in unpredictable patterns, embrace not just chaos but structure, and disregard both on a whim

understand you are not only a subject to the forces of nature but also one of many vehicles they act through. understand that there is no sure meaning or truth, and that this is a beautiful thing because it allows you to create your own truth and meaning. you create your own path, a golden path that you will follow till your end

only after this will you truly be a free man, a wild card, ungovernable and you will be sure of yourself, which they will never be able to take away from you. because you live by your own truth

godspeed anon

>>937132532
Jesus Christ do not listen to this person. Do you want to end up like this faggot? Do us all a favor:

Put on your shoes and go on a run. Find somewhere to run.

Then come back to this thread and see if you wanted to listen to the guy who is drowning in pussy or the guy who can't bench his bodyweight and takes an always sunny bit as life advice.

>>937132532
You're fucking embarrassing bro

>>937132620
if your own truth is /fit/ then go for it

i merely offer another option as i know the /fit/ path doesn't work for everyone

ask yourself tho, why does the notion of forging your own meaning and path and life strike such a nerve?

>>937130471 (OP)
I've been through it, and it took me three years to heal. It’s painful, for sure, but you’ll come out okay as time goes on. Keep these two things in mind:
- Don’t jump into a new relationship to get over the old one.
- Other than your parents, anyone can be replaced, no matter how much you care for them.

>>937132685
Because what you're suggesting is childish and idiotic, but you're presenting it as if it's some unique and debonair philosophy of life.

>i know the /fit/ path doesn't work for everyone

Yeah, it does. Your body is designed to work a certain way. Poising it with junk food and being out of shape is antithetical to your health. The first step in self-actualization is being in good shape. Anyone who says otherwise has never actually been there.

>>937132512
Pretty much the only consistent advice I get is to work out and get in shape, so that's obviously the next step after getting a job. But I don't know what job I could work currently that won't make me want to shoot myself in the head. It'll be some retail or warehouse dystopian bullshit.
>>937132704
I have a hard time believing that she can be replaced, but you're probably right.

>>937132739
how is it childish and idiotic anon?

i ask because i suspect you can't back that up substantially. i suspect you found a path that worked for yourself and cannot accept that it might not be the right path for someone else

i do not disagree with fitness and exercise promoting positive self-ideals and good mental health, it's worked for me in the past, but by the same token if someone is happiest when they are eating junk food and being unfit, good for them, ah salud, that's their own truth and they're living it

i step in because i don't think your approach or method was going to intervene and help OP, it didn't sound like you were reaching him but that's up for him to decide

i have said all i needed to say OP can decide for himself if he wants to take my advice or not, all i offer is an alternative philosophy to life that while not a fix to your problems, opens up so many new paths to choose from

>>937132914
Start working out now WHILE you look for a job. No excuses!

> It'll be some retail or warehouse dystopian bullshit.

Your defeatist attitude is why you're in this situation. You get one shot at life and you're actually in a pretty good spot. There's a lot of opportunities in the USA right now -- especially in the trades. Look into apprenticeships.

>>937132947
>how is it childish and idiotic anon?

It's literally a bit from always sunny. It was never meant to be life advice. The fact that you're trying to high-road me as if I'm the dumb one here is embarassing.

>i ask because i suspect you can't back that up substantially.

Yes. I can. Living your life like The Joker from a child's cartoon is a paramount asinine approach to the adult world. Anyone who disagrees needs to grow up.

> i suspect you found a path that worked for yourself and cannot accept that it might not be the right path for someone else

You suspect wrong. It's empirically validated that PROPER diet AND exercise are way more effective for treating the majority of DSM diagnoses than even treatments like SSRIs. I have a degree in psychology I know what I'm fucking talking about.

>f someone is happiest when they are eating junk food and being unfit, good for them, ah salud, that's their own truth and they're living it

Nobody is "happiest" being fucking obese. There's no "mind body dualism." If you're obese or your insides are fucked up, you're going to have poor mental health.

>All I offer is an alternative philosophy

Jesus Fucking Christ would you shut up? This is not a philosophy this is stupid kidiot nonsense.

>>937131951
I'd like to know too
what did you say OP?

>>937133105
Trades all require some kind of certification from a school, which requires money.

>>937132914
>It'll be some retail or warehouse dystopian bullshit.
It's just a job not your whole life. Most people work jobs they hate or just tolerate. You can become a revolutionary later.

While the /fit/tard is way overstating the power of lifting, it IS a hobby that improves your health and can be very rewarding. It's also very easy to get into, with resources and facilities everywhere. Having people (read: family) and activities in your life that you care about does wonders for your motivation and self worth.

>>937135096
Jesus Christ Zoomers really are stupid. Trades will pay you to do an apprenticeship to learn on the job.

If you don't want to do an apprenticeship because you're too braindead to find one, you either:

Take out a loan

or

Work a shite job and save money to go to trade school.

>>937131951
>>937135088
I essentially said she was getting railed by another guy and acted very insecure. There were other things, and the whole situation surrounding it was weird and bad on both ends, but that's what offended her the most.
>>937135495
I am not close with my family and never have been, besides maybe my grandmother. The love I felt with my ex was the strongest I've ever felt.
>>937136270
Okay I didn't know there were paid apprenticeships that you could just get hired at, I thought they all required certs. I'll look into it.

>>937137180
I'm not a tradie and don't know anything about it, but wouldn't be surprised if they only hire people with previous work experience. So you may want to get a shitter job in the meantime.