I'm involved in some kind of conflict. When something reminds me of it I involuntarily start arguing inside my head most of the time repeating the same patterns. It makes me feel angry and stupid, because that person can easily point out some "major life mistakes" I did during my life.

Give me some good philosophy that will help me remain in control of my thoughts and emotional responses. It has to be something that all normal people would agree with, otherwise that arguing person will have something new to point out and the cycle will repeat.

Please. All I need is 1 wise anon.

Stoicism

Let it go. The past is gone and the future is untold.
There.

Does it mean anything to say that you just need to think, and know, that you and everything can change? Your mistakes mean less, nothing at some point, as long as youre trying to push forward and above it. You cant change the past, but you will grow around it-- and because of it.
Good luck if this doesnt help anything, though.

>>937321453
I can't really let it go, because "last word hasn't been spoken" by both sides.

>>937321409
That's too vague.

>>937321472
yeah, but the response in my head is a sarcastic: "so did you change?"

>>937321733
Read the wiki page.

TLDR; you are good enough, but also everyone around you is. Everyone you hate, or look up to, are just doing their life purpose, and act as they would. So do you, and that is the only thing that matters. Your "mistakes" were not mistakes, they just happened, and are fine. Stop judging yourself, and others, just run with it.

>>937321833
Just to add. Don't be mad a bee acts like a bee, a rock like a rock, or you like you.

Just stop caring and start observing without judgement. Life's too short to be mad about your observations all the time.

>>937321833
in short terms: "everything is inevitable and therefore it's God and therefore it's perfect and equal"? I remember that as Spinoza's claim.

>>937321733
i'd say you need to get some kind of emotional outlet

>>937321790
>3
"Not yet, but you will."

>>937322044
Indeed, that's what I need :)

>>937322031
God does not really enter the equation as far as I know, but you can use him as a metaphor for existence/your observations and that would work. But you can keep it really grounded and stick to the nature of things.

>>937322126
that just fuels war on sarcasm and accusations of empty promises on both sides.

Thing is everyone in my family pose as an educated person. They read books and psychological newspapers all the time but when it comes to having difficult conversations then it suddenly is "but they said this and that".

>>937322196
BTW. If everyone (and everything) is good enough, then why did we evolve such an emotional response as anxiety? You want me to use a perspective which is not that much of a valid theory. There are too many "if"s in that reasoning. My emotions are too fast and they cannot be regulated this way.

>>937321316 (OP)
>You have a problem, m8?

Yes. I'm tired of all the unborn chicken voices in my head.

>>937322704
Assuming you're arguing in good faith, anxiety is a rushed response. Our brains are being fried with crap all the time. Slow down, drop all the things that are not natural to you. Your emotions are just you putting heavy value on how others see you, or you see others.

I mean if your brain is irreversibly fucked somehow through drugs or something idk. If it's just a brain, slow it down.

>>937321316 (OP)
what part of your life are you involved in the conflict? or do you just argue a lot in your head in a general sense of 'being conflicted'?

>>937324324
basically my entire life because I've been told that I should fix my own life instead of helping others.

>>937324113
I need to have a normal life and until then I need to suffer. That's my conclusion. Apparently I didn't show enough respect to deserve any indulgence now. lol. And I just bluntly said the necessary truth. They are returning the favour.

>>937325130
The only thing you control now, is what you do moving forward, and how you choose to feel about what happened. Stop reflecting and wallowing in what-if's or worrying about what anyone thinks.

They will think what they think, and they can't help themselves, but you are what you are.

If it means suffering now, sure, so what, who's going to care. Be stoic.

>>937326192
Well, just remember the most annoying thing in your life and then think that the only thing your family member can say about it is to giggle and remind you that it was your fault.

>>937326192
Well, just remember the most annoying thing in your life and then think that the only thing your family member can say about it is to giggle, remind you that it was your fault and warn you that it will get worse if you don't mind your own business.

>>937321316 (OP)
Two quotes from Marcus Aurelius' Meditations (more accurately "To Myself" in the original Greek: it was his personal notebook of thoughts):

>Say to yourself in the early morning: I shall meet today ungrateful, violent, treacherous, envious, uncharitable men. All of these things have come upon them through ignorance of real good and ill... I can neither be harmed by any of them, for no man will involve me in wrong, nor can I be angry with my kinsman or hate him; for we have come into the world to work together.

>If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.