i am the ultimate chaotic neutral criminal, i get high on caffeine and eat my own shit, i talk badly behind the backs of everyone i know, i used to play with myself in public but this old faggot yelled at me so i stopped doing that, i used to let my dachshund piss and shit all over the floor of my apartment and i wouldn't clean it up for days on end, i have big juicy pimples in my asshole from letting some asian faggot eat my hole, i used to wear my female roommate's dirty panties over my face and jacked off while laying on her bed and i hadn't showered in days, i am addicted to the stench of my own armpits, they smell like niggers and tonsil stones with a side of hard-boiled eggs, i like to put my fingers up my butt and then lick and suck my fingers, i wish a guy would blast my face and mouth with piss, i love farts and wish mcdonald's would make a special fart burger just for me, i want to smell a dude's taint and wipe my face on his taint