Thread 939450382

Finally done with my American Psycho routine.

...mixed feelings; feel cleaner, sexier, but highly introspective. I realized, for me, the source of my insecurity and lowered self-esteem comes from the realization, no matter how beautiful some of us strive to be on the outside, it will never change how ugly we are on the inside. In particular I have an psychoemotional scar from a memory. So for me, I'll never feel more beautiful than my ugliest moment. NA teaches us to make amends for our wrongs. To forgive ourselves, learn from the mistakes in order to not repeat them, and to move on. I made my amends and the target of my ugliness clealry forgave me, but I never forgave myself. For me, it's not enough to have learned from a mistake, it's about implimentation of the lesson(s) learned from them. Since that memory, I haven't had the chance to impliment that growth. So on a very real level, I'm stuck in that mentality.
>You learned your lesson?
>Prove it.
>so no proof then?

The train of though was inspired by what I saw an anon say earlier in a thread. I've been with partners /b/ would easily call 10/10. I've been with partners that look like (or better) than some of your favorite posts.
>If you've been with way more beauitful partners, then you can't be a 7/10

I consider myself only a 7/10 looks when I doll up really. As a partner I'm willing to accept I'm a 10/10 compared to the typical rivals I see. ...yet that ugly meta-scar keeps me from thinking of myself as a 10/10.

Though there remains a residual guilt for hurting the target, but perhaps moreso... through that ugliness, I clearly hurt myself more.

It's a reversed chicken and egg paradox. I like to think I learned my lesson and will never make that ugly mistake again, but until I get the chance to prove it to myself, I can't accept being beautiful. The paradox is that inability to accept being beautiful is what prevents me from getting the chance to prove it.

Makes a morbid kind of sense considering the hominid confition, but clealry it's irrational.

>>939450382 (OP)
Did you drop a chainsaw on anyone?

>>939450610
In a social sense. It definitely involved showing some teeth.

In case you're wondering I fucked a married woman who looked exactly like picrel, but with lighter skin and bigger tits.

I see /b/ post her all the time.

*Sigh* Fine, but there was nothign saucy about the whole deal.
>hot milf and her husband were in my D&D group
>she was a total fucking bitch of the worst kind
>more attentive to her puppies than her own daughter
>also quick to get rid of the puppies when they became a problem if that says anything
>me and my gf at the time were swingers
>we were smoking weed all the time
>I don't even remember how it came up
>just popped up
>wanna do it?
>everybody was in
>I fucked her brains out
>pawing at herself
>face melting orgasm
>her fucked my girl
>made her make sounds I'd never heard before
>What are you doing to her?
>just making it jumping inside her
>found that sweet spot
>nice bro

>another time hot milf literally sucked my dick for a pack of potions in-game
>terrible at it

>>939451847
>he* fucked my girl

>good sex
>I've had better
>didn't get the chance to fuck her in the ass like I wanted though.
>When we switched back her husband got into that ass
>she ended up shitting on his dick

Up until she shit it was hot listening to her yell at him
>Hurry up and fucking cum!

Luckily I had my glasses off at the time and I didn't see it. So my girl and I finished up and that was that.

She had the worst fucking ego on her too.

When she complimented me the next day it was so narcisistic. Like she thought it was a priviledge to make her cum.

My gf at the time was pretty hot by /b/ standards too.
>5'3 ~150lbs
>D cups
>fat ass
>total pawg
>angel blue eyes
>amazing pussy
Wouldn't do anal though. :/

Oh no, her husband definitely left her shortly after my gf and I moved out.

I only hope he got the baby, because the mother was a useless cum dumpster of a human being.

I'm a 5'5 manlet.
To be fair, all this was in my prime. I'm 40 now, which is why I picked up on the American Psycho routine. Nobody ever guesses my age right though.

I'm rocking the cuddle bear dad bod now. Honestly, I love being chubby.

I'm 5'5 160lbs with a good muscle structure under my cuddle pud.

[N2T0T]

I did well in my youth. I wasn't a fuckboi, but I got all that partying and fucking craze out of my system. 100% honest, I'd take a 6-7/10 career driven woman over a 10/10 any day.

Looks fade, outward beauty doesn't balance against inner beauty. ...and at a certain age, a potential partner that has their shit together is way more attractive than some carribean phat-ass. ...I guess unless you're rich enough to buy whatever you want and have carry-over issues from youth.

I'm sure there are plenty of prudent and well-to-do men that would prefer an equally successful partner over a fucktoy bimbo.

The kind of women I prefer might not be in the highest demand, but they are definitely in short supply.

I'm more concerned with raising my quality so I can be the type that's more in demand. I'm a farshot coming from the neet pool though.

When you're young, being gorgeous is all you need. As you get older, the market demand changes. I don't fit into many conventions. *Sigh* So I have to work 10 times as hard to raise those ranks.

[N0VP2]

Just an afterthough for some of you kissless virgins. I have an A+ dick by statistical preference data. I'm not one of those
>b-buh mah dick
kind of guys, because you really don't get any extra points for being able to swing wood past teh 30y age bracket. You don't even automatically get negatives from a good woman for having a shrimp dick. you get negatives for not putting in the effort. A small dick can still make a woman cum and cum hard if you know how to swing your little putter. If you're a kissless virgin in your 20s, don't worry about it. Just socialize and stay in your league, but that requires you to be honest with yourself. If you're a kissless virgin in your 30s, it's time to put some real fucking effort into improving yourself.

A big part of the lack of confidence I see in men, isn't that they don't see themselves honestly, it's that they don't see women honestly. Here's a trick to help you project confidence: When you see a pretty girl that gives you shivers, try to pretend in your mind that she's another card shop neet bro. Like a bro, if you have common interests, you'll both have fun as fuck. If you don't then there was no need to put her on a pedestal anyway just for having perky tits. Alot of the gooner bait I see get posted on /b/ are picture of women that are a dime-a-dozen. Being a women is no less of a competitive market than being a guy. Quite frankly, it's more vicious.

You have to be a good friend before you can be best friends. You should be best friends if y'all are going to be bf/gf. You gotta be a good partner before you can be a good husband. Women suffer from the same stupidity and ignorance as men in that regard, which is why the divorce rates are so high and there aren't many childless single women after the age of 30.

kek... I'm all kinds of fucked up so I seem to attract all kinds of fucked up people. XP

Ladies, protip: if a guy wouldn't suck your dick, he doesn't deserve you. Just aspitballing an idea here, maybe use that as a filter. If you're unsure about a guy, tell him you have a dick. If he passes, he might be pleasantly surprised. X3

If it backfires, it's because he was a faggot anyway I guess. *shrug*