Thread 939523714

Anyone seen those girls who are selling Hot Dogs at Piccadilly circus? That stand must make an absolute killing, what a spot. I don't even eat that shit but what do you think will happen if I buy one and ask the more attractive one to spit in it?

>>939523714 (OP)
the answer is, it is too early for anyone on 4chan to understand what you are saying.

>>939523714 (OP)

actually we are heterosexuals

and inherently
to be in Piccadilly circus, one must first be in the UK

And everybody knows all British men are born with a genetic anomaly that makes them all genetically homosexual

every British male is a limp-rested listing swishy swashy lip wash rag effeminate fucking fag

That's why all British women are so masculine and ugly

otherwise no British male could ever achieve an erection for them

>>939523714 (OP)
feel free to name even ONE male Brit that's masculine, other than Jason Statham....

take your time, Old Chum!!

and James Bond is not a real human so don't even try it

>>939523943
Why are you calling me a homosexual. I've made the least gay thread on this board so me being English is irrelevant

>>939524044
Rik Mayall.
Sad that he died

>>939524061

I never called you a homosexual. Not even once.

and lol lighten up, Guvna'!
bloody good show! Chim Chim Cherie bloke!

top of the morning to you

lighten up. I'm just poking a little fun at you guys across the pond

I mean Jesus Christ You gave us the Beatles... So I love you guys

Even though every one of your TV shows ends the same way:
two effeminate white-haired elderly men chasing each other around a park bench while Scott Joplin ragtime plays too fast in the background... And one of the men is wearing women's underwear outside of his business suit, while the guy chasing him holds an umbrella in the air and has an erection

>>939523714 (OP)
I mean I definitely and not personally attacking you at all. I just told you how much I appreciate you guys helping the world out with the best band ever. The Beatles.

If it wasn't for you blokes, the world would never even know SIDE TWO OF ABBEY ROAD

It's not your fault that British men refer to other men as their MATES

whereas Not just with humans, but with all living species, mating occurs between a man and a WOMAN

>>939524044
Ricky Gervais

>>939523714 (OP)

AN ACTUAL BRIT GETS TESTED FOR HIS BRITISHNESS:
(by an Elvis fanatic from Memphis Tennessee)

let me test your British taste:
just curious:

are you familiar with a band called SQUEEZE ?

>>939523714 (OP)

SQUEEZE: one of the best bands EVER

this song is GOODBYE GIRL
(He's cheating on his wife with a floozy who slips drugs into his drink and steals all his money while he's unconscious. his wife divorces him.. GOODBYE GIRL

https://youtu.be/IG_vo3gevhc?si=C9b-7ViXVDeo1VoN

The money in the billfold? It doesn't bother me... My wife has moved to Jersey, so "mugged" is not the word....

And if you ever see her...
say HELLO, GOODBYE GIRL!

>>939523714 (OP)

turn you on to squeezes best song in my opinion... But first you need to answer a question for me... If you're British...

WHY ISN'T THIS YOUR FAVORITE SONG?

WHY DON'T YOU KNOW ABOUT THE STRANGLERS?

https://youtu.be/RAPIUWsDK90?si=2Q4w3hXQQyR1JgPI

>>939523714 (OP)
>at picadilly circus
I lost

>>939523714 (OP)

OOPS!!!

sorry my speech to text missed an entire block of a sentence let me try again:

I'm about to give you SQUEEZE's BEST SONG (all of their music is very much like the Beatles, because they are SO GOD DON'T CLEVER AND WITTY... It's not music for stupid people... )

But in a minute I'm going to give you a link to their best song

But first...
THE STRANGLERS
when you hear the name 'The stranglers'
lots of different images might come to mind

But they are not like you would expect

they are also music that's intentionally not made for stupid people

The stranglers were like literal vampire music... And I'm not talking about the cheesy Hollywood version of a vampires

I'm saying if vampires were actually real
The stranglers would be their favorite band

"You're laughing, we are carving your name in a tree.. For the kids to see.. we hear you.. we feel your ecstasy... You paid the penalty"

You could have wasted away
on the floor of a hotel room.....

with the hands of a working girl
to lead you into your tomb......

committing the 'crime'...
of taking your time....

THE STRANGLERS ARE FUCKING AWESOME

WHY DIDN'T YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM?

>>939524061
>arguing with LoLvis
Dont be a retard OP.
>Least gay thread
Wrong, YLYL and /pol/ threads are typically the least gay threads because it doesnt involve grown men larping about their goon session waiting for some teenager who thinks 4chan is cool to say pervy shit so they can jack off to it. Gooning on 4chan automatically makes you a homosexual.

Would you guys fuck off out of my thread. I don't even know what nonsense you're talking about. There are other places for it though

>>939524654
nobody's arguing. In fact, he's starting to realize I may very well be the only person did here who actually relates to him and knows where he's coming from even though I'm over here in America

whereas you can't even name one good song by The stranglers

You don't know any of Dave Edmonds music, and you sure as fuck can't name any good squeeze songs

I doubt you even like the Beatles

>>939524741
NTA but I disagree, shitposting gooner threads are perfect for LoLvis to introduce you to his sordid past

>>939524654

And you and I are a lot more alike than you want to admit

You just literally spelled it out for you and I to lay witness

absolutely we concur
It's inherently homosexual to ask another man to help you achieve an orgasm, and I don't give a fuck if you're in a image board or goddamn discord or on your knees in a gay bar it doesn't matter it's all the same thing

oh shit good I just realized OP can read what I'm talking about

And since he's British, that means he was born genetically gay

lol I'm just kidding
This is called performance art too It's not an argument

>>939524742
Im not OP retard and you are right I hate the fuckin beatles. Learn to keep up with context LoLvis.

>>939524741

lol

now things are finally getting spicy

I'm not sure which one you're talking to...

ME™
or the guy telling you not to talk to me hahaha

But I'm going to assume it's me
let me think about it for a minute...

hold on..
no need to get up. This won't take long

okay. I thought about it
REMEMBER I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO PLAY THE BEST SONG EVER BY SQUEEZE?

well, this one is not it

I'll play that next

But coincidentally enough, this squeeze song is called PICCADILLY

https://youtu.be/UKfRJ67ztOs?si=IfZ9Vu2EDGd1G7uH

>>939524803
>I'm not OP

Don't act like it's my fault then you idiot don't have your own unique signature style that makes insiders able to recognize you when they see you

I've never seen anybody produce anything worthwhile that they didn't want to attach their name to

look where anonymity is getting you

So until the day comes that you have some tiny modicum of unique interesting character and personality....

I'm afraid I'm going to continue confusing you with all the other boring people

But that's understandable
Like I said
You don't have any style

>>939523714 (OP)
no I reckon I aven't been out London way in some years now
I keep to meself, raise sheep for platonic company and enjoy a pint of bitter down at the publican ere an now
an I don't ken to no piccadilly dog girls op that sounds like an urban sexual act prohibited by the crown except if in the navy

>>939524803
by the way, you are an intelligent man, so I want you to listen to this song as well, because it's one of the smartest coolest songs I've ever heard. It's really special

>>939524741
This is the song I was telling you about
It may very well be
THE BEST STORY EVER TOLD
a complete life time articulately and cleverly journaled, before the song ends.

It's absolutely my favorite song by SQUEEZE

(This video was filmed in John Lennon's old apartment. That's the same kitchen where John Lennon wrote the song imagine)

That's just a little insider info I thought you might find interesting

It tells the complete story from meeting her to having the child and the divorce and the humility

It's absolutely fucking brilliant!!!


SONG IS COMING UP NEXT:

"UP THE JUNCTION"

UP THE JUNCTION:

I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from Clapham
Out on the windy common That night I ain't forgotten When she dealt out the rations With some or other passionsI said "you are a lady""Perhaps" she said. "I may be"

We moved in to a basement With thoughts of our engagement we stayed in by the telly Although the room was smelly

We spent our time just kissing The Railway Arms we're missing But love had got us hooked up And all our time it took up

I got a job with Stanley He said I'd come in handy And started me on Monday So I had a bath on Sunday I worked eleven hours And bought the girl some flowers She said she'd seen a doctor And nothing now could stop her

I worked all through the winter The weather brass and bitter I put away a tenner Each week to make her better And when the time was ready We had to sell the telly Late evenings by the fire with little kicks inside he

This morning at four fifty I took her rather nifty Down to an incubator Where thirty minutes later She gave birth to a daughter Within a year a walker She looked just like her mother If there could be another And now she's two years older Her mother's with a soldier

She left me when my drinking Became a proper stinging The devil came and took me From bar to street to bookie No more nights by the telly No more nights nappies smelly

Alone here in the kitchen I feel there's something missing
I'd beg for some forgiveness But begging's not my business And she won't write a letter Although I always tell her And so it's my assumption I'm really up the junction


https://youtu.be/RQciegmLPAo?si=Jn1AuNAUVXJHmHdJ

>>939525223
Classic, though story wise I enjoy labeled with love.

when I was copying and pasting those lyrics I was once again reminded it's the perfect story. It's absolutely fucking perfect

The entire fucking thing from beginning to end

It's so concise

so succinct...
depart about the incubator literally makes me smile and almost a tear in the corner of my eye

It's so fucking real

If you ever have kids, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about

>>939525319

absolutely labeled with love is a permanent tenant in my heart

oh my God the memories

back then, saying required a thing called TALENT

what happened?

>>939525319

HAHAHA OOPS*,!!!

SORRY,!

It's my classic speech to text typos I'm outside right now It's my birthday and I'm outside

and the weather is perfect it's fucking perfect out here

let me try that one more time, please?

back then, FAME* required this one ironic little irrelevant thing called ACTUAL FUCKING TALENT

these days, people are famous for parting their hair weird

ARE YOU INTO THE STRANGLERS AS WELL?

because there may be one of my all-time favorites, and the entire album AURAL SCULPTURE is a masterpiece. It's not music for stupid people. Not at all

>>939525370
I think that era of British whimsy kinda died a while ago. Sometimes people get close but its never quite the same.

>>939525461
Loved the stranglers though my main exposure is a best of CD which I still enjoy to this day. Peaches is a classic.

I'm about to copy and paste the lyrics to a strangler's song called SKIN DEEP

And because there's a character limit in here, let me take this opportunity to first let the stranglers are one of the coolest fucking bands ever

And like I said earlier
when I say they are vampire music

I'm not talking about some cheesy goth crap
I'm not talking about some contrived Walmart decoration Halloween fag show fake vampire garbage

I'm not talking about Twilight or even Bella lagosi

what I'm trying to say is simple:
If vampires were real
The stranglers would be their favorite band

okay the next song I'm going to play is called skin deep and of course we all know beauty is only skin deep

......... brother, you've only got two hands to lend

you'd better watch out

okay here it comes next and it's fucking haunting the entire album is brilliant

absolutely fucking brilliant

>>939525597
Thanks for the rec, I'll spend some more time jumping into their catalog.

>>939524774
What the fuck is lolvis?
You're a wanker trying to make out like this is the same as the spam we get, this is original and real, very different subject matters, almost a Social experiment

>>939525528
okay I'm just now reading this post. well forgive me but I'm going to post it for any other person who have might happen to stumble upon this, okay?

It's important that today's youth don't allow that era of witty whimsy to fade into obscurity

It's important that the young people have somebody at least attempt to try to give them a little good advice now and then

And I've always told my friends
the album AURAL SCULPTURE makes the perfect gift for anybody. It's like a really good book that takes them into several journeys and those journeys are more valuable than something you buy over the counter at a store

EVERYBODY COOL that I know in my life loves this one particular album

AURAL SCULPTURE

>>939525679
are you OP?

are you interrupting me again?

DO NOT EVER FUCKING INTERRUPT ME AGAIN!

Have I made myself clear?

SKIN DEEP
Many people tell you that they're your friend
You believe them
You need them
For what's round the river bend
Make sure that you're receiving the signals they send
'Cause brother, you've only got two hands to lend
Maybe there's someone who makes you weep
And some nights loom up ahead
When you're asleep
Some days there's things on your mind you should keep
Sometimes, it's tougher to look than to leap
better watch out for the skin deep
(Ooh-ooh) better watch out for the skin deep
(Brother, watch out) watch out for the skin deep
(Brother, watch out) watch out for the skin deep
Better watch out for the skin deep
One day, the track that you're climbing gets steep
Your emotions are frayed
And your nerves are starting to creep
Just remember the days
As long as the time that you keep
Brother, you better watch out for the skin deep

https://youtu.be/aw9mEFn38to?si=S2f-YK1U_8bjOqmz

>>939524884
Oh shit, I envy you. That's what I want to do but I'm too much of a loser to be able to. Can I come and feed your sheep, check out your set up for an hour or two? I'll fucking pay you. Which town?

>>939523714 (OP)
okay this next one isn't even from England...
Lucky him, right? He's from Wales where they're actually masculine.....

.
.......... He's Welsh not British
So that means he prefers sex with women

this guy is actually a friend of mine. I've painted two Elvis portraits for him. his name is Dave Edmunds

when all the other blokes were out there playing cricket and playfully wrestling with each others rear ends

Dave was staying inside teaching himself how to play guitar

But not just any guitar... no
He was teaching himself how to play guitar during a time when other people wanted to play "hammer on" arpagiated bullshit fake rock and roll lead guitar like Eddie Van Halen for Steve Vai that type of crap

nope he wasn't interested in playing that garbage

because young Dave was fixated on 1950s America

in particular, the Elvis and Nashville thing
real American rock and roll, 1950s style, with a heavy heavy dose of old school Nashville country gentleman guitar picking

AND HE IS ONE OF THE BEST GUITARISTS ON PLANET EARTH!!!!!
instead of playing that irritating hammer on heavy metal fake guitar bullshit... He plays with surgical precision

He can play the same amount of notes as three people playing guitar simultaneously

I'm not sure if you played guitar or not
But if you do
DAVE EDMUNDS IS A GOD

But I'm about to play you a song he wrote about his failed music career.. because it turns out most people are unfamiliar with Dave's music.. (He has it in I HEAR YOU KNOCKIN, He never had another hit)

That's why it's primarily OTHER ROCK STARS Who are his fan base... If you ask most rock stars they will tell you "Dave Edmunds is one of my favorites"

But most people have never heard of him
That's why I'm turning you on to this song

In the song, who details the depressing situation where he's A1 on the jukebox (I hear you knock) But nowhere on the charts

>>939523714 (OP)

Like I said the song you're about to hear is his autobiographical story about having the song I hear you knocking playing on jukeboxes back in the '70s, but no one bought his music and he never made any money from it.

INTERESTING SIDE NOTE:
He finally became a multi-millionaire by throwing together a little side project

perhaps you've heard of them before
Dave Edmonds invented and cast the musicians to play the roles in THE STRAY CATS

after years and years, of struggling to break even with his music, Dave threw together a really cheesy corny pre-packaged rockabilly thing called THE STRAY CATS I'm finally became rich as fuck

When I started out I thought that I would make it double quick
I had the kind of confidence that I was picked to click
But if you could stand in my shoes you wouldn't feel so smart
'Cause I'm A1 on the jukebox and nowhere on the chart
My agent gives me spending cash, his pockets seem so deep
I'd live just like a millionaire if it were mine to keep
But money ain't the problem, no, it ain't even a part
When you're A1 on the jukebox and nowhere on the chart
A1 on the jukebox, played in every bar
A1 on the jukebox, the big world is a star
I'm nowhere in the hit parade 'cause no one likes my art
And I'm A1 on the jukebox and nowhere on the chart
A1 on the jukebox, played in every bar
A1 on the jukebox, the big world is a star
I'm nowhere in the hit parade 'cause no one likes my art
And I'm A1 on the jukebox and nowhere on the chart
I spend a fortune on the trades, they take my every cent
I see my name in black and white, but words don't pay the rent
I know that I could hit and run if only I could start
But I'm A1 on the jukebox and nowhere on the chart
And I'm A1 on the jukebox and nowhere on the chart
Yes, I'm A1 on the jukebox and nowhere

https://youtu.be/x5t7tEY1obQ?si=N0yL_qv47PJ9mt2k

>>939525806

awwwwwww

That's so sweet....
In true British fashion...

two men are now MATES

(FYI since you can't get pregnant in your ass it's not exactly mating. It's just homosexuality)

maybe is when you reproduce
You guys are absolutely fabulous

>>939523714 (OP)
And of course I'm going to follow up the Nashville country gentleman guitar picking with

I'LL GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU EVER NEED
AND I'LL FIND A WAY TO TURN YOU INTO A MONSTER

ME AND YOU? WE CAN RULE THE WORLD
AND NO ONE'S GOING TO FUCK WITH ME I'M A MONSTER!!!!

PROFESSOR GREEN

https://youtu.be/d9ZyeWjJF7A?si=zwptFci9UocjQR9a

I'm much more British than you

The only thing that's British about you is trying to hook up with the first man you find online within driving distance of you sucking his dick

I'M A MORE PROPER AND UPSTANDING BRIT THAN YOU

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN
NEVER MIND THE BULLOCHS

>>939523714 (OP)
hey dude? Do me a favor please?

take your bags with your clothes
And leave your keys by the door
cuz she never wants to see you no more

You never should have listened to that serpent, buddy...
You shut yourself in the foot again, dipshit

https://youtu.be/CDmWJbN8bDo?si=jin2Z8_eDVegTIIM

(I would appreciate it very much if you would hold it down a little bit. I'm finding it very hard to post in here with you continually interrupting me. thank you)

>>939525721
Yikes yes I am

Pump