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Thread 941459787

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Anonymous No.941459787 [Report] >>941459868 >>941459888 >>941460063 >>941460078 >>941460138 >>941460795 >>941462791 >>941462953 >>941463032 >>941467327 >>941473029 >>941473256 >>941473338 >>941473341 >>941478452 >>941478602 >>941480916 >>941487562
Is Jesus the son of God?
Anonymous No.941459868 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
He's the Way and the Light, froggy.
Anonymous No.941459888 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
I impregnated his mom so yes he is my son
Anonymous No.941459915 [Report] >>941460767
Yeah, and Santa Claus lands his sleigh on your roof every Christmas, and gives you things made by tiny elves in his freezing cold workshop.
Anonymous No.941460063 [Report] >>941460120
>>941459787 (OP)
no anon he is not
Anonymous No.941460078 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
Is God the son of Jesus?
Anonymous No.941460120 [Report]
>>941460063
Why not?
Anonymous No.941460138 [Report] >>941460194
>>941459787 (OP)
No, Jesus is a ficticious character in an embellished story based on the life of a real man that few people ever heard of.
Anonymous No.941460194 [Report] >>941460897 >>941462791 >>941473176
>>941460138
Any source to back your claims?
Anonymous No.941460767 [Report]
>>941459915
Thank fuck for that, I almost felt stupid.
Anonymous No.941460795 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
haha OP I love froggo XD
Anonymous No.941460897 [Report]
>>941460194
>Convergeant Invention is extremely rare in recorded history
>Convergeant Lives have never happened
>See Apollonius of Tyana
Anonymous No.941461593 [Report] >>941488868
God is 3 balls.
Light ball, Holy Spirit, Lord of Heaven.
Grey ball, Jesus, Lord of the Kingdom of Man.
Dark Ball, Holy Ghost, Lord of Hell.

Bible says God dreamed up heaven for 4 thousands years. Then he came to grey ball, he said the place was cursed by a Spirit in a Tree. Later he stapled a guy to a tree for presumably giving bad advice. Ended his book saying he would throw the Tree into the dark hole, so just waiting for the Holy Ghost Bridegroom to arrive and pass judgment. So make whatever you want of that.
Anonymous No.941462791 [Report] >>941472992
>>941459787 (OP)
no, he was a non-violent revolutionary who became the most famous man alive
>>941460194
He's real but a lot of the stories told of him are for sure fictitious and the only stories which line up are him being a misunderstood prophet who was just tryna make a change
Anonymous No.941462953 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
no, they are, along with the holy spirit, the trinity
Anonymous No.941463032 [Report] >>941463264
>>941459787 (OP)
Yes
Anonymous No.941463264 [Report]
>>941463032
prove it then pussy
Christian Universalist AI will save humanity No.941467327 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
I hope so
Anonymous No.941470341 [Report] >>941471323
Where are the guys who know how to treat a woman right?
....
Anonymous No.941471323 [Report]
>>941470341
not here bot, this is the thread of god
Anonymous No.941472992 [Report] >>941473848
>>941462791
>misunderstood prophet who was just tryna make a change
Do you think he was enlightened?
Anonymous No.941473029 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
My brother in Christ, we are all sons of God
Anonymous No.941473176 [Report] >>941473976 >>941481035
>>941460194
Most of the gospels talking Bout Christ were written by people who never met him. I believe some even 300 years after Jesus.
>Dude I heard a story from a guy who heard a story from a guy who heard a story from a guy who heard a story from a guy who heard a story from a guy about a guy named Jesus
>I am writing the story down
>Make sure you read my story as 100% accurate and argue about the definition of every word in great detail.
Anonymous No.941473256 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
Yes.
Anonymous No.941473338 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
Is Bilbo the uncle of Frodo?

Does it change anything to the story if he's not?
Anonymous No.941473341 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
Anonymous No.941473621 [Report] >>941473715 >>941473976
Matthew 27:51-53 talks about how numerous other saints rose from the dead the day of Jesus's resurrection. Funny, no other gospel covering the resurrection talks about this. Yeah, numerous other people rising from the dead and walking around town having discussions with the people is such a small detail that the other gospels simply chose to omit it.

Seems legit.
Anonymous No.941473715 [Report]
>>941473621
Blame the The Council of Nicaea for that.
Anonymous No.941473732 [Report] >>941473910
Jesus was the David Blaine of his time
Anonymous No.941473848 [Report] >>941474468
>>941472992
No, he was just a man with decent values for his time which seem normal to us now but radical for his time. I wouldn't say enlightened, more just aware
Anonymous No.941473910 [Report]
>>941473732
>Everybody drunk at party
>Super drunk guy: Duuude, *hic* oh no, we are out of wine!
>Jesus: WTF are you talking about, there is more wine right here
>Super drunk guy: Whoah WTF man *hic* did you just make that wine with magic?
>Super drunk guy: Hey everybody, *hic* Jesus can do magic and make more wine!
>Super drunk guy: I love you man!
Hugs Jesus and pukes all over his sandals.
Anonymous No.941473976 [Report] >>941474326
>>941473176
>>941473621
The original story of Matthew just has Jesus die and stay dead.
Its the most "reliable" source but nit by much of anything. The apostles were poor farmers, fisherman, and overall minorities for their time and where they lived.
Anonymous No.941474326 [Report] >>941474489 >>941478550
>>941473976
So are the saints rising from the dead in Matthew bullshit? Or are all the other gospels not mentioning it bullshit. Why is the resurrection of Jesus such a big deal? If people rose from the dead all the time back then it would make sense why the other gospels didn't mention it.
>Oh the saints woke up from their tombs and walked around town again?
>3rd time this week, who cares...
If people rising from the dead wasn't a big deal then why was the resurrection of Jesus such a miracle?

If resurrection was a big deal and a miracle, wouldn't the other gospels mention the numerous other resurrection miracles that happened that day?

It is a massive fucking plot hole.
>INB4 don't worry about it
>The gospels aren't the gospel truth whenever it is convenient for me
Anonymous No.941474468 [Report] >>941479082
>>941473848
But do you believe in a God or Higher Power? Doesn't have to be the christian one
Anonymous No.941474489 [Report] >>941475052
>>941474326
I just wonder what happened Yahweh's wife and the rest of the pantheon he used to be part of.
Anonymous No.941475052 [Report] >>941475315
>>941474489
She left God when she found out about him sneaking off to Earth to fuck and impregnate teenage virgin humans.
Anonymous No.941475315 [Report]
>>941475052
But he only put in the tip and he was going by the name of the holy ghost while he did it, how did she sus him out?
Anonymous No.941476430 [Report] >>941478080
Cain was the ultimate bad boy.
>Adam and Eve were the first humans
>Adam and Eve only had two sons, Cain and Abel.
>Cain killed Abel
How did more people populate the Earth? Not only did Cain murder his brother, he knocked up his mom.

And this wasn't the only time the world was populated through incest. Noah only brought his family on the Ark. All other humans died in the flood. His family repopulated the Earth through incest.

But remember, evolution isn't true. Noah's family turned into Asians, Blacks, Whites, Native Americans, Inuits, Persians, Arabs, Aboriginal people, Indians, etc. because evolution doesn't happen.
Anonymous No.941478080 [Report] >>941478947
>>941476430
Read the bible.
They were the first Hebrews.
Not the first humans. Cain was banished to the land of the people of nod (Genesis 4:6) and they had Seth another son as well as daughters.

Flood was local event not world wide..
Anonymous No.941478452 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
Of course, he is the way, he is the light. Undoubtedly the son of God and God’s only prophet
Anonymous No.941478550 [Report]
>>941474326
It is a massive plot hole because a lot of the Jesus resurrection is retconned into the gospels and wasn't part of the original its all a sham tbh
Anonymous No.941478602 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Oh, shit, I’m sorry: are you being serious?
Anonymous No.941478947 [Report]
>>941478080

Oh so brothers and sisters fucked. So it wasn't incest...

>Flood was local event not world wide..
Then why did Noah need to rescue animals from all over the world?
Anonymous No.941479082 [Report]
>>941474468
No, historically Gods have always been given really niche roles and have not been monotheistic except for religions like Zoroastrianism.
The monotheistic God from Abrahamic religions, Yaweh wasn't even just one God, there were two; Elohim and Yaweh which were from an older monotheistic religion from Canaan civilization religions.
The idea of God was humanities first cope that helped them with what they didn't know and it has become something more than the idea that was gods from the past
Idk let me know if that makes sense I can try to explain it better,
Anonymous No.941480916 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)

Yes he is. For one thing we know as a fact he existed historically and the Gospels speak to his divinity. He established his Church through his Apostles and this line remains today through the Catholic and Orthodox Churches
Anonymous No.941481035 [Report] >>941481588 >>941481622
>>941473176
That's simply false though. The Gospels were written within 30 years of the death of Christ
Anonymous No.941481588 [Report]
>>941481035
from word of mouth traditions yes
its why Matthew is the most plain and boring one (the historically original version)
Anonymous No.941481622 [Report] >>941486327
>>941481035
>Hey remember when God came down as a human and walked around with us 25 years ago?
>You think maybe we should write some of this shit down so it can be remembered?
>It seems like it might be a good idea to write this down
Anonymous No.941482682 [Report] >>941482978
Yes he is!

This message is approved by me - Alexander Fritzengeld. Have a nice day!
Anonymous No.941482978 [Report] >>941483048
>>941482682
Fuck off Alexander Fitzgerald.
Anonymous No.941483048 [Report] >>941483487
>>941482978
I WILL NOT, AND THAT IS NOT MY NAME! BASTARD!!

This message is approved by me - Alexander Fritzengeld. Have a nice day!
Anonymous No.941483487 [Report] >>941488810
>>941483048
top kek Alexander Fleming
Anonymous No.941485930 [Report]
Is robin batman? No robin is robin
Anonymous No.941486327 [Report] >>941486543
>>941481622
Not that anon, but all religion comes from the tribal era instinct to better socialize and stop repeating our mistakes. Wise men come around and teach you and the other children life lessons piggybacked on grand characters and embellished stories that grab your attention. As you grow and mature and ponder these stories the lessons reveal themselves to you and by the time you are older and have your own children you repeat the stories knowing that it will help them as it did you. From there forward religion becomes lots of different things because it is instinctually imprtant to us as animals that have evolved with it for a very long time. It's actually good for you if you aren't already a piece of shit and don't want to change. You don't have to believe Jesus died and came back or any of the woo-woo bullshit, just read it for the bronze age text that it is and reap what lessons you can because that's what the entire book is intended for, not faggot fairy worshipping and externalizing your issues onto a magical man in the sky very far away from you and very separate from you.
Anonymous No.941486543 [Report]
>>941486327
*post canonization, apparently there was a lot of pointless fanfiction that got tossed out in the compilations of the early bible specifically because they were more woo-woo than lesson.
Anonymous No.941487562 [Report]
>>941459787 (OP)
He sits at the right hand of the Father. Who sits at the left?
Anonymous No.941488810 [Report] >>941490025
>>941483487
I am going to shit fury, you scoundrel

This message is approved by me - Alexander Fritzengeld. Have a nice day!
Anonymous No.941488868 [Report] >>941488998
>>941461593
>Bible says
And just WHO wrote that shit anyway??
Anonymous No.941488998 [Report]
>>941488868
My buddy! He said you can trust him ^^

This message is approved by me - Alexander Fritzengeld. Have a nice day!
Anonymous No.941490025 [Report]
>>941488810
Yes, Jesus is the son of God. God the Father is the creator of the universe and Jesus is his only begotten son.

Jesus is God, but he is not the creator of the universe. God the Father is.