Thread 941623802

>>941623802 (OP)
Do you know anything about jumping spiders, by any chance?

I didn't know very much about them, other than the fact that they frightened me, especially when they jump, but they don't even need to jump because they look frightening

IT TURNS OUT THEY ARE NOT SCARY AT ALL

THEY WILL NOT BITE YOU
THEY WILL NOT HURT YOU
THEY'RE ACTUALLY EXTREMELY FRIENDLY

they kill insects, so it's not bad to have a jumping spider in your house just in case

jumping spiders will never bite you

because you're not an insect

they are fully aware of you

And they will not harm you at all

I swear to God it turns out they're actually very very cool

>>941624858
thats what you say, chelzhunni

>>941623802 (OP)

I didn't know Jack shit about jumping spiders until my wife taught me:

THEY ARE ACTUALLY VERY PLAYFUL AND VERY COOL AND THEY WILL NEVER HURT YOU

You can actually play with them and they will bounce around and play silly games with you

they look frightening

But they're not harmful

they're actually quite cool and interesting the more you get to know about them

>>941624915

In fact, the more you learn about jumping spiders, the more you will realize they're kind of like good luck...

no shit... If a jumping spider somehow manages to find its way inside your house, there's no reason to kill it

It's actually doing you a really big favor

And they live for a long time, and they will interact with you

I swear to God they'll interact with you
they know exactly who and what you are
And they will interact almost like a pet

It's actually quite fascinating

BECAUSE THEY LOOK SO SCARY
But they are actually playful and silly

they look so goddamn menacing
But they are actually completely friendly and harmless to humans

killing them is like bad karma because they're literally not doing anything wrong

And they're actually helping you
If there's another insect in that fucking house, the jumping spider will know it and he will jump directly on that motherfucker and kill it

But he knows who you are
And he's cool with you
as long as you're cool with him

hopping into the corner of the room and just sitting there watching you

waiting for any possible other insect and he'll kill that motherfucker immediately

>>941623802 (OP)
you're the "king" of an utterly disgraced landfill, animaterr man. you've overstayed your welcome for several years now
>>941624858
everyone who isn't human cattle knows this already. go back to r/zoophilia

>>941625141

And since you've obviously never researched jumping spiders, I urge you to self-educate because you'll be fascinated to discover they are nothing like other spiders, and they're almost like little tiny puppy dogs that like to play

puppy dogs that can see you three dimensionally

And they read your mind

because they're actually smarter than you... And it's just a goddamn spider

>>941625141
Don't be fooled by the intimidating exterior of a jumping spider, because that doesn't reflect their actual personalities at all. they are quite the opposite of how they appear

try to imagine them smiling, like they smoked some pot in their feeling kind of silly and smiling. That's the way their personality is. they're like stoned little jumping puppy dogs that love to play

>>941625141

..... If only the same could be said for you

>>941623802 (OP)
My wife has been showing me a series of videos made by this fairly attractive woman and her boyfriend who travel around in a converted bus living off grid It looks like a lot of fun actually

And they found a jumping spider in their converted bus and they were both terrified of it...

of course

That's the natural reaction for humans when we see jumping spiders, especially big ones

But then they started paying attention to the spider

they named her SPROUT

And they created a really cool little habitat thing for the spider so it had water and food and it was safe It had its own little safety area

And sadly enough, Sprout just died recently

https://youtu.be/OZdDhrP8T6s?si=ywW-wvXiu0kcMvxX

It's actually kind of beautiful and sad

And I'd fuck the shit out of that woman

>>941623802 (OP)

I'm telling you...

A jumping spider can actually be a very cool pet

https://youtu.be/r6ddZfHS27s?si=sj6qDb-Zakt-9--B

It turns out they're actually COOL AS FUCK

https://youtube.com/shorts/gEMPLrWh35g?si=7MVV87mxiMt7u-Gs

TAKE A WILD GUESS:

Who would I rather spend my time with, a jumping spider or a human?

>>941625198
if they're so smart why do i have one squished in the doorjamb of my porch?

>>941623802 (OP)

I would fuck the venom out of that woman while her boyfriend watched

https://youtube.com/shorts/Qsb7fYu8C6U?si=4a1SsispFaqzqBM1

>>941625924

That's a shame because they are cool little spirits.

they actually have very cool energy

>>941625830
probably a jumping spider you googly eyed autistic dumbass

they are the total opposite of how they look

https://youtube.com/shorts/VULwwwv-24g?si=QSQ87JH7fXSMBA7O

The way they gesture and reach out to you with their arms, whether reaching out and touching you with one arm, or using both arms to try to wave at you like calling you please pick me up

It's fascinating that they can communicate with humans like that

>>941625981
https://youtube.com/shorts/Y8tlStx-B_k?si=zzHRZue7SYpxxat5

If I saw a jumping spider I would scream like a little girl then mush it with my palm.

I mean, c'mon... seriously

they're silly!!
they like to play...

It's crazy...
everybody should teach their children about how jumping spiders are actually cool

The world would be a better place

(And leave it to my genius wife to be the one to turn me on to jumping spiders. I had no idea until she taught me)

>>941626640

It's a natural reaction

But now that you know the truth about jumping spiders, there's literally nothing to be afraid of at all

they're very curious

they literally wave at you

THEY LITERALLY WAVE TO YOU "HELLO"

That's fucking crazy, dude....

Life is fucking wild as shit

we had a really big one in our place, and we've never fucked with him, but we were worried because there's no other insects in our place we've never had any insects no bugs at all

He got in somehow

So after a while I was concerned about him and I gently cradled him and took him outside where he could be free and have access to nature

It was kind of sad because we had grown accustomed to him

He would literally pop up in our living room and start waving at us It was crazy as shit

It turns out my wife was 100% correct after all

(she always is)

YouTube even has a 24/7 Lucas the spider channel for kids

https://www.youtube.com/live/t_nFGWJI_tI?si=7vAa9yRX_3VORHy1

again: they're nothing like other spiders

It's a completely different category

https://youtu.be/i6ucE1cfzmE?si=tiQFhJAdthKUbHBa

>>941627018
This is bugaboo the flea, spectrum game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hwnRQjslt0