I have literally been at this job for a week. One (1). After months of looking for a job and sending out CVs like crazy, I finally got a job in a nice office. Everything is fine, although the people are many years older than me. Nice, serious and well-dressed people. I'm trying to make a good impression, of course; and it's not easy, because I'm also a person who has a hard time socializing with people.
So, today I'm walking down the corridor and I run into my boss (who will be about 60), who was coming out of the bathroom. She just blurts me out, just to make conversation:
>What's up?
And I, instead of saying "fine" like a normal person, my brain decides to improvise with a:
>Well, you were taking a shit, weren't you?
To my boss. To a 60-year-old lady I've known for a week. I don't know why. I don't know how. It just came out of my gut. I just know I said it, and she kept quiet. So did I. Both of us in silence, walking back to the office (about 20 seconds) as if nothing had just happened.
Now I'm here, at my cubicle nervous as hell. I have a follow-up meeting with her on Monday, and I don't know how I'm going to deal with it. I don't know if she's going to say anything, if she's going to ignore it or what the fuck.

>>22814255 (OP)
Take the NEET-pill, you dumbass

>"What's up?"
>"Fine"- like a normal person
you have aspergers

>>22814255 (OP)
Anon relax. just apologize and provide humorous self-depreciating explaining that you're a nervous idiot. Say that it'll never happen again and neither of you will bring it up again.

Also, not politics

It’s over

Based. What was the problem?

>>22814255 (OP)
>>Well, you were taking a shit, weren't you?

I bet it sounded even funnier in your clown language

>>22814255 (OP)
just have sex with her
fuck her in the anus and repeat the line, for promotion

>>22814255 (OP)
Well you just proven that you have severe autism. You will be put into a role that minimizes contact with co-workers and absolutely hides you from customers.
You will also have to sign a form claiming you're mentally disabled so the company gets a tax credit for hiring you. That's pretty much it as long as you're useful. Of course no one will ever talk to you again in the office, and you will never be promoted or even acknowledged.
Who knows what a sperg like you might do when triggered. But at least you get to keep your job.

>>22814255 (OP)
Senior Autisico

>>22814255 (OP)
Reminds me of that one story of an anon clogging up his toilet on a cruise ship

>>22814261
Being too autistic for a job in a country with scheduled nap breaks is genuinely impressive.

>>22814255 (OP)
>be me in office, 60 yr old Spanish women who has worked a long career, and looks forward to retirement
>leave the bathroom and pass by the new guy
>want to make causal convo with him to make sure this workplace is inviting and he is welcome
>ask him what's up, causal like."
>he responds
>You just took a shit in that bathroom, didn't you?
>wtf
>dont say anything, maybe he's just autistic
>I have a meeting with him Monday, how do I broach this subject while being sensitive to his possible disability?

Anon, you just struck GOLD. You put your boss on the backfoot, and now you're in control. It is very easy to fuck this up. If she brings up or hints at mental disorder, congrats, you are now an undiagnosed retard. You get to keep your job, but now everyone knows you're a retard. They will never invite you out for drinks. But hey, you salvaged this, and you're retarded. Also, you may want to see a doctor and get a diagnosis. Not because it'll help at your job, but because I genuinely think something is wrong with you.

>>22814255 (OP)
Say you meant
>Well, you were talking SHIT werent you?
Then say
>Talk SHIT, GET HIT
and beat her senseless

>>22814265

>>22814255 (OP)
It's fine, anon. Just next time she walks past you make fart noises.

>>22814267
Fukken checked.
>They will never invite you out for drinks.
Sounds like a plus to me.

>Also, you may want to see a doctor and get a diagnosis. Not because it'll help at your job, but because I genuinely think something is wrong with you.
Also seconding this. Just don't take their meds.

>>22814255 (OP)
I don't think this is a real story

>>22814272
Welcome to R*ddit Lite

>>22814255 (OP)
I dunno anon, she did invade your privacy by asking 'What's up?' so a defensive passive aggressive answer is acceptable in this case.

>>22814255 (OP)
>Well, you were taking a shit, weren't you?
jajajajajajaja

>>22814255 (OP)
Off-topic garbage blogpost
>>>/r9k/
>>>/bant/
Watch the tranny jannies leave this up though

Oh it's this thread again...

Get drunk before the meeting, not much just to take the edge off. If you're too serious she will think you were actually interested in her shitting and not just making an unfortunate joke. Women can tolerate retards, not creeps.

>>22814255 (OP)
>>22814267
Quads checked and kek'd. Good luck, anon.

>>22814256
Spain doesn't have welfare. You work or you starve there.

>>22814255 (OP)
She wants to take a steamy curry shit on your chest, anon

Make love to Poojeta this is your only chance

Learn to never talk to women except the necessary formalities

>>22814255 (OP)
lol fag when they bring it up you just say that you couldn’t think of anything else to say due to the pungent smell. Say it made you temporarily insane due to the biological assault on your olfactory organ. If you know what I mean

>>22814266
That can’t be real lol naps? Like fuckin wut you get paid to sleep in lisp land?

>>22814255 (OP)
>meds are outgoing and socially compete-

>>22814260
this

>>22814255 (OP)
Anon, women are degenerates, the older she gets the more fucked up, also the pussy is close to the asshole so you probably activated some neurons in her when you said that. poke around it maybe she's into that shit
>>22814256
how's NEETpill would work in leafland? I've been trying to find a job for months and zero luck, what should I do to get neetbux, at least temp or I will starve.

I'm just taking a respite
You were taking a respite weren't you
You take the time to commit
I need to take a tidbit
You took a tidbit weren't you
You took the list didn't you
If asked just say one of these was what you said sorry but I've had a speech impediment as a child and have worked really hard to overcome it but sometimes the stutter lisp comes out and people misunderstand what I say my deepest apologies. People hear things wrong all the time. I'm just taking a sec aren't you?, you were punching the ticket weren't you (a saying my dear grandfather always used when people were really giving it their all). It's not hard most people aren't paying as much attention to you as you think. Just keep your mouth shut and learn to say how are you, anything I can do for you keep it moving, or just a head nod and walk away.
Once I said to an office lady I love twat. I meant to say I love that. That came out wrong it's been a long day, at 9am. I lived.

>>22814272
It was real in his mind.

>>22814255 (OP)
Later on go up to her and apologise for being a spastic retard.

>>22814289
It was real in another universe

>>22814255 (OP)
What if your boss were to have an accident before your meeting?