my friend is mad at me. i betrayed his trust. he trusted me and i failed him. he was probably the last good friend god will ever grant me. that’s it. no more. i’m all alone for the rest of my life. i fucked up every opportunity i’ve been given. i simply wasn’t meant to have friends. i will die alone to the surprise or the sorrow of absolutely no one. no one will ever know i died. no one will ever know i lived. i and everything i represent will dissolve from existence itself. i was never here. because there was never an “i” to begin with. goodbye, everyone.

do not

>>22824229 (OP)
have some coffee & throw some whole cloves in it, it's good
what makes you want to have friends? it might sound stupid but you should think about it
if you can figure out what you want more specifically, you could maybe think of ways to get it

dumbass

this is trash, i dunno
>>22824229 (OP)
>he was probably the last good friend god will ever grant me. that’s it. no more. i’m all alone for the rest of my life.
it's completely fucking arrogant to assume that
i've felt the way you describe many times, on and off
one of the things that stops me from doing anything drastic is that i deserve to live this out for the mistakes i made
another hting that stops me is the thought "if i'm too much of a fucking coward to try any drastic options first, i don't deserve the right to suicide"
but it's up to you

>>22824229 (OP)
>i fucked up every opportunity i’ve been given
First time, champ?

>>22824238
>>22824235
>>22824234
sorry just feeling kinda down right now. i killed yet another friendship, and this is something i’ve been doing for decades. every person that gives me kindness, i return hatred and sadness. it’s like im some sort of demon placed here by god for the sole purpose of suffering. but you’re right. i’m not gonna an hero. if god wants me to live out my sentence with seeing my deathbed surrounded by nobody as my ultimatum then so be it. i’ll keep waking up and going to bed every day. thank you, anon. i hope you have a nice day and that your friends and family love and cherish you like you deserve.

>>22824265
i do a similar thing, but i ghost those people instead
it's very frustrating and irrational
but yeah, there's plenty to do in this world, even when you lack that essential part
you could try to improve your daily routine and control your environment so that atleast there's not other things making you miserable
you can also pick some arbitrary goal to focus on
maybe there's something you wanted to do when you were a kid
idk
but yeah, thank you as well, good luck
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09L0YPY-9Ww