all those worries and all that longing? all the things that you fucked up? it's okay. take that bottle of cheap vodka and put it in your system. soon you wont be thinking of anything at all. she isn't going to forgive you anyway. and if she did you'll just fuck things up again. we can only hope we die of alcohol poisoning.

alcohol is bad, it makes you turn into that family member you thought was a retarded loser when you were 12 to 16 years old

>>22849665 (OP)
>she isn't going to forgive you anyway. and if she did you'll just fuck things up again.
better to reach out & get closure as many times as you need to
worst case scenario she rejects you

hope for better things

also, be grateful you met "her" in the first place, and cherish the memories
also, remember she's flawed and you're a human being just like her

>>22849669
>better to reach out & get closure as many times as you need to
silence is worse than rejection and that's what im getting right now

>>22849673
you couldn't be more right

>>22849679
>silence is worse than rejection and that's what im getting right now
sorry anon, that's shitty of her
you can always go on a quest to see her in person if you really really need to

well actually silence is a little better than rejection because that means she's not done just not engaging... maybe there's a chance if time fixes things. maybe i can fix myself in that time. maybe not. im not supposed to dwell just drink myself to death

i wish i got just a single shred of what she's thinking so i can react properly. i bet she likes torturing me. i bet she likes the attention.

>>22849716
no reason to be drinking
imagine if she loved you & were with you, she'd feel grief watching you do that
i have compulsive self-destructive habits, and this helps me avoid them sometimes
there's a good chance she does love you & she's being silent out of nervousness, even if she's in denial about it.

>>22849728
that just makes it worse

>>22849722
>i bet she likes torturing me. i bet she likes the attention.
she's probably not any more in control of her own actions than you are
a lot of the time when you feel strung along, the girl is thinking "yeah i'm totally the puppetmaster" in order to protect her own ego, but really she wants to reach out but gets too nervous and freezes at the moment of truth.

>>22849732
i think you need to find her in person and see how she reacts
if you do that with good intentions, that's the best you can do, and you'll get a chance to see how she feels
if i were your father i'd kick you out of the house until you found her & confessed
but i'm not, and you're pretty much god in this situation, so try not to do anything you'll regret for decades

>>22849739
your angle is all wrong, sorry anon

>>22849748
if you knew anyting you wouldn't be ruminating on bant and drinking
may as well take a shot in the dark

fentanyl