Anonymous
6/27/2025, 9:04:58 PM No.22872226
Headphones cut me off from the outside world. They protected me from the noise of others, helped me feign indifference. But when I met Yui, I no longer needed them. I never knew my parent's love, and yet I became a parent.
There is no question this world is unstable, imperfect and irrational. It is a world where things break down if you take what people say at face value. People say different things at different times. Which is the truth? What am I supposed to go along with? Perhaps they were insincere in both instances.
I feared forming bonds with people. I disliked a world brimming with them. I was alone since my childhood, so, I never felt lonely. But there are those in society who scorn such an existence. I hated going to other people's houses. Having to visit classmates that didn't interest me, or relatives at their home. Forced to confront the circumstances of their lives and made to partake in them. Being together with others was excruciating. I just wanted to be alone, always.
There were two things I liked as a child. One was knowledge. I could satiate my starving heart by gorging on information on my own terms. No need to think about others. I could serve upon myself as much knowledge as time would allow me. The other was the piano. A finely tuned wire would respond accurately to the key that was touched. There is no deception there. No betrayals. No disappointments. My existence would be seamlessly translated into a flow of sounds. I liked this system. I liked being alone. Neither I nor anyone else would get hurt that way. Alone, I could be at ease.
But after encountering Yui, I learned that living could be an enjoyable experience. Yui alone accepted me for who I was. After I lost her, I was afraid I could not live alone anymore. For the first time, I felt the anguish of loneliness. I could not bear the burden of losing Yui. I just wanted to cry in her arms. I just wanted to change myself by being at her side. I just wanted to make that wish come true.
There is no question this world is unstable, imperfect and irrational. It is a world where things break down if you take what people say at face value. People say different things at different times. Which is the truth? What am I supposed to go along with? Perhaps they were insincere in both instances.
I feared forming bonds with people. I disliked a world brimming with them. I was alone since my childhood, so, I never felt lonely. But there are those in society who scorn such an existence. I hated going to other people's houses. Having to visit classmates that didn't interest me, or relatives at their home. Forced to confront the circumstances of their lives and made to partake in them. Being together with others was excruciating. I just wanted to be alone, always.
There were two things I liked as a child. One was knowledge. I could satiate my starving heart by gorging on information on my own terms. No need to think about others. I could serve upon myself as much knowledge as time would allow me. The other was the piano. A finely tuned wire would respond accurately to the key that was touched. There is no deception there. No betrayals. No disappointments. My existence would be seamlessly translated into a flow of sounds. I liked this system. I liked being alone. Neither I nor anyone else would get hurt that way. Alone, I could be at ease.
But after encountering Yui, I learned that living could be an enjoyable experience. Yui alone accepted me for who I was. After I lost her, I was afraid I could not live alone anymore. For the first time, I felt the anguish of loneliness. I could not bear the burden of losing Yui. I just wanted to cry in her arms. I just wanted to change myself by being at her side. I just wanted to make that wish come true.
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