You know I think I am actually intelligent and could have been successful; it’s just that my family are such complete fucking retards who never set a good example, or pushed me, or had any way to actually help me that I turned out a confused mess. And I think there degenerate worldviews and mannerisms sometimes shed onto me; and thus being depressed for the past few years I’ve become as degenerate as them. When I was not depressed the house was clean and people behaved properly; now they do not. Not my fault I can’t gain back my energy in such a disheartening environment. They get mad at me for staying in my room but every interaction with them turns into a lecture or a confrontation and I just decide not to put up with it. I don’t want to anything. They get mad at me I do not care to interact with society, to go to (((college))) or get a job (((humiliation))). This life has taken everything about myself away from me and if there is no me there is no point in living.

Fuck everything I just want purity.

>>22892097 (OP)
>Not my fault I can’t gain back my energy in such a disheartening environment.
yeah but it is your fault that you aren't in a better environment
you need to just leave at this point
>I don’t want to anything. They get mad at me I do not care to interact with society, to go to (((college))) or get a job (((humiliation))). This life has taken everything about myself away from me and if there is no me there is no point in living.
you wouldn't feel this way if you were living somewhere else

i'm in a similar position, it's fucking stupid

>>22892097 (OP)
Yeah I grew up with super similar circumstances

>>22892109
what became of you?

>>22892097 (OP)
>it's not my fault
it is absolutely your fault. If you were smart you would have realized how important your grades are in high school ti get into a college far the fuck away from your home

>>22892113
i wanted to believe i could make money from my computer somehow & bypass all that shit
i should've just gone through it though, i gues

>>22892112
I was a mess for a while. I am a complete black listed and laughed at loser and outsider. I channel it all into my shitty punk music. I think my circumstances have made me much stronger than anyone I've ever met in my life. I don't feel sympathy or pity for anyone anymore. I'm drunk though

>>22892120
>I think my circumstances have made me much stronger than anyone I've ever met in my life.
i think that's like a BPD coping mechanism

the music is based though
ty and good luck

their degenerate worldviews

>>22892113
When people are smart they are cocky and think they will do fine whatevers happens. Unfortunately living with abusive stressful parents adds up and u slowly get swallowed up by circumstances.

>>22892391
if you're cocky then you arent smart.
Intelligence and wisdom go almost hand in hand like over confidence and stupidity. I think im a dumbass but many people think im very intelligent.