Thread 23538816

Schizophrenia? A place to talk about mental health and some of the interactions you have had with mental health services! Come share stories!

>>23538816 (OP)
No I just suffer

>>23538818
From people's prejustice or from your own demons?

Our intro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA46vqGtGaA

>>23538822
My DID personalities are bullying me

>>23538857
They are fucking weak ass pieces of shit. You are awesome just for posting in bant and you can imagine me bullying them from London!

>>23538857
>plays subahibi once

I went to the hospital in shambles because a person who asked me to record a Podcast with him in 2010 sold our work without addressing me. So in 2015 there was Rick & Morty, BoJack Horseman, Comedy Bang! Bang!, and Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio all contained full segments we improvised together.

So I go in hospital talking about wanting to kill myself from the anguish it caused me, and the nurse comes at me with "you didn't use Skype, Oprah uses Skype." So I started ripping out my hair and they strapped me to the bed.

They prescribed me Invega. It caused seizures and voices to occur. I was released with the pills, and I had Abad moment on my parents couch where I wasn't able to stop my leg from shaking, and I got a pseudo-visual hallucination where if I closed my eyes I envisioned four 3' tall aliens shaking me.

I went back in to request a medical change, and they wouldn't let me out unless I accepted the Invega injection. It's meant to last a month. I didn't want it, but my mom told me to just take it so I could "get the hell out" of there.

I end up getting really bad convulsions, where I try to hold onto something to stay upright, but I would occasionally black out and fall. The one time I was shaking my head so much I cut open my scalp on the floor.

Cut to a few months later, my psychiatrist claims I need these injections because I had a history of skipping my pills. This was not true, as I did take my pills. I just didn't like how they reacted.

Long story short, I've had voices consistently since 2017, but for the past two years and two months I've been taking Clopixol, which gives me more control over my thoughts and actions, and Abilify, which quiets the voice at the back of my head. I can still make out voices in white noise that are directed at me, but the single conversation that began in 2017 ended in February-ish 2023 because of Clopixol.

Good luck, and if you're well, don't let them medicate you for a problem you don't have.

guess your prescribed is me nurse

>>23538822
I suffer from both

>>23539511
You've been through a lot Danny. Keep on the meds. If you ever get the shakes again, procyclidine helps with that and should have been perscribed to help your symptoms.

Love you Danny (as a brother) and look after yourself!

>>23539592
Oh no. Which is worse, the way people treat you or the way you treat yourself due to your condition?

Hey schitzos if you stop taking your medication you will get back to baseline and healthy again faster if you don’t take the bullshit pills
The key is rest. Your brain is having like a micro seizure and you need it to shut down and get some rest and reset it, it takes months and sometimes years of working on your health but it works. Eventually you’ll be able to turn that part of your brain off at night and it will stop inflicting brain damage on you - time is of the essence, the schitzo micro seizures cause long term brain rot in those areas if left untreated, make an effort to activate your sympathetic nervous system and healthy again faster yourself today.

>>23539687
why you tile ours brain pussy nigger

>>23538816 (OP)
>interactions you have had with mental health services!
My opinion on it is weird because, I spent a week as inpatient at a hospital after I quit my job because I believed my coworkers were being posessed and influenced into trying to hurt or kill me. The whole time I was in the hospital I felt like it was a waste of time, I was in the same group as super depressed suicidal people when I don't really struggle with that stuff at all I just felt really out of place, it took a ton of convincing to get me to agree to take a anti psychotic pill because I didn't trust it. Anyway I got out pretty fast and I bounce back and forth between a manic state and thinking "that was a complete waste of time and there's nothing wrong with me and I don't need a pill" and a somewhat depressive phase of "fuck I'm fucking schizophrenic I'm going to live an abnormal life I can't believe this has happened to me I might actually need a pill" I'm currently not on meds and I don't really feel very receptive to the psychiatrists they have me see every month. Right now it's easy to say I genuinely have something wrong but every other week it changes, every time I'm having psychosis I write everything I'm thinking down and then when I come out of it I reread the shit I wrote and can't associate with it at all and it sounds insane, I'm considering trying pills again cause I don't want to go off the deep end but idk it's hard to convince myself. Right now it's easy to say I got good insight from the professionals at the hospital and my psychiatrist but I don't want to say medication is a solution I want to find an answer within myself but I might regret that in the future

>>23539699
What? This is solid advice -
I meant parasympathetic nervous system
You can lead a schitzo to water but you can’t make him turn his brain off and reset for a few months

You should try acupuncture it helps turn you off and reboot

>>23539687
this isn't good advice. Medication is a neccissary evil and if you are feeling good and interacting well while on it, you should continue taking it.

You're on a medication journey where the aim is to find a medication and level that works for you. Everyone is unique so what works for you is personal. Good luck fellow schizos!

>>23539713
This is what I'm trying to convince myself, because I know there's truth in it. But it's hard when every other week my brain starts digging down a rabbit hole that convinces me everything in our world is a lie and the truth is something only I know , it's weird but I'll figure it out. Still feels better than being depressed and suicidal

>>23539709
sure is for real. means that water been instead should anyway

>>23539706
Yeah there is a reason this is happening, you experienced a shock of job loss that hightened the chemical responses to stimulus in your brain to the point that there are parts in your brain that cause a cluster of activity, it’s not a full on micro seizure but it’s a little like that, it’s causing too much activity there, you need to switch off that part of your brain for a while. You do that through sleep and rest and letting go of that trauma and tightened state of stress bringing all the activity. Your hormones are ultimately being unbalanced by it. You need proper health and especially sleep to get it to reset right. And it needs to be multiple times in a row over the course of a few months and because that’s hard to do it can take years if you keep interrupting your recovery which is of course natural and you should just do your best. Take up a rest practice whether that’s breathing exercises or walking or something that makes you feel better. Give up on being edgy too

>>23539713
None of them work I tried a ton of them, most just made things worse or just kept me feeling uncomfortable and slowed down the recovery.
Terrible advice you are hurting people by suggesting they abandon their health and take medication that imbalances them.

>>23539706
That must be a hard situation to be in, knowing you need meds but also being able to survive without them. Good luck anon and thanks for sharing!

>>23539734
A lot of the time the medication levels are too high, which causes fatigue and apathy. Once you find the medication you know works for you, it's a godsend. People spend years doubting the meds just because they are on the wrong ones.

>>23539727
This is actually something that's been building up for a year or two. I had been experiencing things like seeing angels, thinking there's demons in me, etc while being okay with it and functional and just writing it off as me having a bit of a creative mind. It really took off though when a handful of months ago I believed I was talking to God and that demon worshippers were going to seek me out to harm me or something, and a week after that I had a hallucination where a box at my work was putting out a poisonous gas and nobody believed me (because there wasn't actually a gas I was feeling something that wasn't real) and then I assumed the people who didn't believe me were being influenced by demons so I had a bit of a breakdown and left my job and quit, told my family about it then they urged me to get mental evaluation. My family has a history of schizophrenia, I also smoked an insane amount of weed in my teen years which some say can cause it, and I'm at the age where signs really start coming up. My health is actually really good, as I've been dieting for a year and losing a healthy amount of weight, exercise regularly, sleep well, I'm as clean off the drugs as I've ever been. I've been diagnosed as bipolar for almost 5 years now but after these recent things, they got rid of that diagnosis and was diagnosed "unspecified psychosis" for a while and now it's just schizophrenia. The medicine they gave me actually did what it was supposed to do, it stopped my psychosis and paranoia. While in the hospital I went from feeling like I was being watched and persecuted all night, and then after taking the pill it went away for the most part almost in just 2 days. Came back once I stopped taking the pill. Stopped taking it cause I didn't like how it made me feel weird and kind of emotionally numb.

>>23539735
And yeah, it’s weird. And it’s pretty scary. It feels like the stuff I’m experiencing gets weirder as time goes on, I’ve sperged out on /s4s/ a lot, embarrassingly. it’s turned my life a bit upside down. I’m just feeling blessed to have the awareness to realize something’s wrong with me and know I got to take it seriously. I appreciate the kind words , namefriend. Good threade

>>23539790
Hey everyone who's schizo has had a sperg moment. Don't be ashamed just move forward and stay positive! You are doing great!

||Test||

[spoiler]Test again, pls dont bully[/spoiler]

>>23541973
>>23541975
>>23541982
Not all boards support flavour text

>>23539609
What's worse though, is that the voices I hear lately, if I'm engaging with them, they've been saying that the guy who I did the podcast with has stolen my online identity, & the voices won't admit that it's mine.

I used to use the name Oozabooman for a lot of stuff, but after discovering my name in the secret Bible code I was afraid of being murdered by the Pope, so I started using the name Xander Xan. I would claim to hate Xander Xan, and when I was on my Xander Xan account, I would say I hated Danny. Also, with my November 13th 1988 date of birth, I would say as Xander-- "I was born before 1988, that's all I can say."

So the guy I did a podcast with had actually sent me a bin or ini so that it would print a txt with the number of mp3s and flac I had, but I believe that it also added a backdoor to my PC. I met this guy 5 years after my suicide attempt gave me memory loss, so in actuality, he was likely not really improvising with me, but taking cues from old scripts I had on my PC. For instance, BoJack Horseman was the name I gave a woman at Rolling Stone magazine who contacted me to ask about my relationship with Taylor Swift, who was not yet signed to a record deal and was in an online relationship with me. Rick & Morty was a show I worked on pitching in 2004 or so with the image of the two main characters based on Bert & Ernie of Sesame Street fame, but as if they were related and generations apart. I also wrote a few pages called "A Very Murray Christmas" with my dream cast, starring Bill Murray as the titular Murray. That wound up on Netflix.

So like, not only was I screwed, I'm still being screwed, and the voices are potentially constant (if I try to engage with them) as well as out of the loop. It's draining. I have memories of starting Google, and previous to that I was already a trillionaire just from working on military jets and ships; all of which I finished without aid.

I'm so fucking pissed off at my parents, too.

>>23542364
Danny it's a very common phenomenon for schizophrenics to think they had a hand in things they didn't. I'm not saying you haven't done some great things in your life but some of the stuff you claimed you started have very well known origin stories. Again that's not taking away from your achievements which are very valid it's just putting things into perspective. What is the schizophrenia talking and what is Danny's real world achievements! Anyway Danny you're an established character in Bant and I hope you do well in whatever you set your mind to. Lots of Love!

>>23542398
It's frustrating how many lies I'm surrounded with. The established stories you speak of are fabrications. I've been whitewashed from the conversation. Additionally, a lot of the people I used to talk to have died.... like Stan Lee, Kurt Vonnegut, Prince, Michael Jackson, Eddie Van Halen.... Jack Nicholson is probably my closest living friend from that era.

Thanks for the love, Gon. I respect you & return the sentiment. The only schizophrenic thoughts I had were when I was convinced I was being raped or groped in my sleep. I would barricade my apartment door.

I wish I knew who was pulling the strings behind my stolen history. It isn't fair.

Like you may have heard, my parents lost my CD-ROM backups when they kicked me out of their duplex while they had me placed in hospital, and recently they tossed the actual computers I used, which would have still had my alternative operating systems for boot; all of which I created myself.

This website doesn't offer enough space per post with the 2000 character limit in order for me to share complete thoughts on the situation, and I don't want to keep posting over and over without responses. Feels wrong.

>>23542443
I've heard your story more than most. Thank you for telling me Danny. The only advice I can give you is live for the future. The past is the past, you can't change it. Try and live for new expiriences and interactions and just remember the old days to give you confidence in the present. Love you man!

>>23543104
Just noticed your SENPAI id, bro

I feel silly for giving myself memory loss. Attempting suicide was a mistake. Now I exist to see that I haven't been acknowledged. It's a whole new thing. The complete overshadowing of all others with my contributions was never discussed.

Bill Clinton was set to be impeached in the 90s because he was an active pedophile. It was my executive decision to let him stay in office, because I didn't want the west to fall. Now there's another pedophile in office, who many suspected was as such when they voted for him. I feel responsible for the state of the world.

I mean, I made myself essential. My technology has been leaked, and it scares me, because someone might use it to replace the air with wood or something.

I should have done more exploring of staff and intentions when I owned all of those companies. I tried to inspire an exposé from Rolling Stone magazine but nothing came of it.

Also I had a meeting with this group of billionaires where I had them vote for or against pedophilia, and they all voted 'for'. I counted the votes, so I decided not to tell them I voted against. It caused a real drop in my spirits.

Man.... having my history ignored so fervently while I recall it is such a buzzkill. The mental health staff I deal with don't engage with my stories. It's like they're already convinced I'm retarded.

>>23544496
gusse that shell use air when not dash should her

Two massive glowies

Gon and Danny

Britain and their submissive colony

>>23544530
king of loop might befor been fun

>>23544496
They don't engage because they believe they are delusions that have manifested themselves in your psyche stemming from the traumatic event of trying to commit suicide.
>Now I exist to see that I haven't been acknowledged
Do you need acceptance from a group of people that have left you behind? I know if some group or multiple groups left me for dead I wouldn't give a shit about them. They wouldn't live in my head rent free and I would go about my day as if they didn't exist. Hopefully that aspect of your life can find some closure and you can look to the future with excitement and intrigue. 2026 should be the year Danny forgets the past discressions he had and lives for new connections and adventures! Who knows what you could create in the future or who you will meet!

>>23544530
>meds

>>23544530
So what exactly is a glowie and how does it apply to me? I read that it's what you call the feds, but I haven't worked in the FBI, CIA, or FDA since I went AWOL in April 2005. I'm unemployed on disability wages now, and I'm struggling to find anything of value from my past. Not that there wasn't value, mind you; I mean it's all attributed to randoms.

>>23544566
>They don't engage because they believe they are delusions that have manifested themselves in your psyche stemming from the traumatic event of trying to commit suicide.
They could at least say that, and it would be nice if they smiled more.

>>23544585
They should say that to you but mental health peeps are taught not to achnowledge things they believe are delusions because they could be held legally responsible for promoting delusions and sued if you do anything. It's total bullshit.

>>23544595
>mental health peeps are taught not to achnowledge things they believe are delusions

I see. That's not helpful.

>>23544615
Not helpful at all. Danny I worry you're not getting the best mental health care where you are. Hopefully things will improve for you, you deserve good mental health!

>>23544620
No, I have a shitty psychiatrist assigned to me, and I've requested a change but there's been no response. The medical team that delivers my pills 3 times a week doesn't engage, and I spend a lot of time alone. I can't express my feelings anywhere but here with any confidence, and I keep leaving voicemails that don't get a response, where I simply ask the medical staff to talk to me. Just talk! ... and they don't.

Also my parents stopped supporting me with laundry, groceries, and vape liquid so I have to fend for myself, which is slowing down the process of paying a lawyer.

>>23538857
They don't exist grow the fuck up bitch

>>23544672
petensoiony

>>23544647
What do you need to pay a lawyer for? To draft a contract or something?

>>23544674
We're gonna kill em all before it's over Soulja Boy it's gods will

>>23544647
>>23544672t
how is types ASL? that sex or something? unironicly...

>>23544647
Sadly psychiatrists are often scared of their patients so won't engage in simple interactions. I hope things improve for you Danny, you deserve the best!

>>23544672
be nice.

So are you eating thousands of dollars of groceries every week and smoking as much vape liquid?

Because the cost of groceries for a single person and some nicotine juice isn't even going to scuff what it's going to cost to do what you're suggesting.

Ur fucken bananas BRUV ur crazy as shit. But guess what? It's me who's covering up your history.

CUZ IM THE WIZ!

>>23544684
He's crazy Soulja Boy he's a lunatic. Like your cousin Dimitri.

Fuckin WACKO!

>>23544684
>>23544699
Btw love u bud were the winning team

>>23544694
I'll be nice when he stops lying for attention until then it's not gonna happen

>>23544699
jesus christ, but what is ASL? i have confidence with is it types in irc...

>>23544704
It's real for Danny, he expirienced those things and has memories of those things. If he can't talk them out here where is he supposed to talk about all the stuff he's been through.

This is a mental health safe zone and you're trolling/being a prick. Please stop.

>>23544703
yeah, thank you. on all that was for is it now. one probbably reproduced the winning team

>>23544720
Nigga that canadian is danny as well
Danny likes to fight with himself

>>23544676
Finding old bank accounts and then some.
>>23544694
None of the staff assigned to me is helping. It just makes me feel like they think of me as a child.
>>23544738
I do not fight with myself.

>>23544744
hi is do fast for itself :D

>>23544749
Hi, and other words ^__^

Danny I want you to know that I am tormenting you by stealing your history because you were mean to me one day in school and wouldn't play dodge ball on 3 different occasions among numerous other insults and injuries.

>>23544720
>>23544752
>>23544761
See gon

>>23544703
That guy on the left looks like an ugly Canadian probably because he’s Jewish

>lost connection between Canada and Israel…?

DANNY

DANNY

UR CLUCKEN FUCKEN CRAZY DANNY

UR CRAZY DANNY

UR CRAZY DANNY

UR

CRAZY

DANNY

UR

CRAZY DANNY


UR CRAZY

DANNY

UR

CRAZY

DANNY

>>23544761
I wasn't mean in school, and I played dodgeball in gym. I wasn't as good as my friend Alan, or Brian. Or Tony, even. Recess I was really good at four square.

What part(s) of my history have you claimed, per se?

>I'm crazy as shit and I can't function cuz I'm fucken nuts and think I'm 6 different people
>U need to be nice to me
*Opens gas valve*

DANNY

UR CRAZY DANNY

Danny all ur problems will go away if you can get an original song in the top 5 of the weekly hot 100 billboard in the next 6 months time.

>>23544791
I already did that

With all your history and everything you've done in life CRAZY DANNY you should t have any trouble

CRAZY

DANNY

you should be able to write the best song of all time. So make it happy crazy Danny.

Hey Danny


UR FUCKEN NUTS

>>23544738
>>23544764
Thanks for the warning!

>>23544802
I wrote Believe with Cher

Its ya boy crazy Danny
I'm here to slay
But I'm not crazy
Don't believe what they say

Its ya boy crazy Danny
I'm here to play
But I'm not crazy
No matter what they say

Uh uh

I'm crazy Danny
I like a fat fanny
When I hit it from the back
Theres no slack in my mack
I'm on the pussy attack
Riding up ur ass crack

Crazy Danny

Crazy Danny

I

Am

Crazy Danny

>>23544818
Thanks for the attention. I'm logging off for a bit. See ya.

>>23544818
Bravo, That real nigga... somesting add pounch row...

>WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!?
I think your crazy
>I WANT A SECOND OPINION!
You're also lazy

Crazy Danny crazy Danny
Crazy Danny crazy Danny
Crazy Danny crazy Danny
Oh, crazy Danny

Crazy Danny, crazy Danny!

>>23544832
being cool punch like that...next...

>>23538816 (OP)
nah
i enjoy a little dash of coices in my day to day.

>>23544874
your day to day is mine explode here, faggot?

>>23544832
I'm perfectly sane, my boy