>>60501263 (OP)Don't worry anon everything is actually totally logical and simple, there is an ingenius reason for why it is all like this and will no doubt reassure you going forward.
So you know how spam emails like nigerian prince and similar are so obvious that it is confusing how the person behind them could be so incompetent that they could pull of anything at all? The key point people miss here is that they are intentionally meant to be shitty and obvious scams because that will weed out 99.999% of people and leave the dumbest people of all.
Crypto involves the same kind of finesse - if you're dumb enough to believe that you can get money out of pretending imaginary things are worth something, you're going to be dumb enough to accept absurd explanations for hodl that make no sense.
That's the genius of crypto - it's such a stupid concept that it attracts many stupid people and people who act without proper reasoning. If it attracted intelligent and responsible people things would soon fall apart.