Damage report, all decks.

too early, brainer.
>90k by monday

Shields down….major damage to engine bay….targeting systems in disarray

Sir….I think it’s over

Captain, we have identified an alien species interfering with market dynamics. They exhibit traits similar to the Ferengi, physically weak and untrustworthy, yet cunning beyond measure. They attach themselves to more powerful civilizations, manipulating them from within until their hosts are exhausted, exploited, and ultimately destroyed. Their presence is a threat that must not be underestimated.

>>60535508 (OP)
>Damage report, all decks.
casualty reports coming in from all over the ship

>>60535508 (OP)
the starboard nacelle is sustained direct impact.
we're venting drive plasma

>>60535508 (OP)
initiating emergency core shutdown!

>>60535508 (OP)
It's almost as bad as it was a few weeks ago, capn.

>>60535508 (OP)
inertial dampers failing, we're losing altitude control

>>60535508 (OP)
this is the bridge. all hands to emergency escape pods!

>>60536016
now!

>>60535508 (OP)
core shutdown is unsuccessful.
we are losing antimatter containment.

>>60535508 (OP)
Nothing to report sir, fiat systems going haywire as normal

>>60535508 (OP)
we've gotta eject the core!

>>60535508 (OP)
>>60536030
ejection systems offline.
core breach is imminent.

>>60535508 (OP)
all hands abandon ship!! REPEAT, ALL HANDS ABANDO-

Bitcoin reactor output is over 100k again captain. Not sure what that fluctuation was.

>>60536055
Phew, thank heavens I beamed out in time to the backup ship. Anyone else alive?

Nothingburger reporting in
If it actually happened futures would be down much bigger.

Happening cancelled, markets will be in the green by the afternoon.

I'm about to shave my head and my beard completely off.

>>60536064
>Anyone else alive?
Yes, me.
Only me.

Repair your port with bizcoin. Buy yourself an Asian cum slave with the profits.


t (dot) me/bizniggas

>>60536106