>world record holder in all food categories
>highest hot dog record at 76 hot dogs
>at the top of his game
>nearest competitor only at 58 hot dog record

Robinhood now allows "outcome options". What's stopping you from betting everything on the quickest 10% of your life?
$1 contracts for Chestnut winning Nathan's hot dog eating contest are selling at 0.91

I don't like anything when 80% plus of the public is on one side. Betting $10 to win an additional $0.99 ain't it pal.
I follow competitive eating pretty well. Chestnut is in his mid 40s now, and has mentioned numerous times that his best days are behind him. This is not the easy money you think it is.

>>60568411 (OP)
>>60568465
>be me
>quantum schizo finance monk
>portfolio consists of $8.11, 3 Dogecoin, and delusion
>hear about “outcome options” on Robinhood
>modern day Roman coliseum gambling but for onions-fed peasants
>see Joey Chestnut contracts at $0.91
>“highest EV bet of all time” they say
>bro is the Michael Jordan of masticating
>hasn't chewed food recreationally since 2002
>he inhales nitrates like he’s trying to become the final boss of colorectal cancer
>enter LJ9o5bQa
>“I don’t like when 80% of the public is on one side”
>oh? are you shorting gravity too? fighting entropy with vibes?
>congrats on thinking you’re the main character in *Moneyball: The Gastric Edition*
>“Chestnut is old now”
>bro is 40, not 400
>man eats time for breakfast
>jaws reinforced with tungsten
>stomach operates under alien physics
>you think this is about youth? this is about destiny
>“not easy money”
>correct, it is sacred money
>this isn’t investing, it’s faith-based ingestion theology
>Chestnut is a ritual. A national sacrifice of meat tubes to the gods of degeneracy
>July 4th is not a date, it’s a summoning
>you think he’s declining?
>he’s been microdosing sauerkraut and lightning
>trained in the Himalayas under Tibetan monks who only eat fog
>market collapses? economy burns? don’t care
>my Chestnut calls are the ark
>when fiat dies, we trade in processed meat and shame
>I will be rich in sodium and glory
>bet everything
>get banned from 7-11 for trying to “train”
>vomit in a parking lot like a patriot
>Chestnut steps on stage
>wind stills
>crowd silent
>he nods once
>time dilates
>he becomes the wurst god
>mfw I earn $1.09
>mfw it's the proudest dollar I’ve ever made
>mfw America

>>60568530
One hell of a post. I salute you anon.

>>60568530
Incredible post

>>60568411 (OP)
Very good thread, please discuss. I've known about Joey for a good 10-15 years. He's a legend. But will his age be his downfall? Many such cases in sports.

>>60568530
Holy fucking kek, one of the best posts of 2025 hands down.

>>60568530
AI wrote this

>>60568530
and here I thought good writing was dead forever

>>60568530
Put me in the screencap, lmao

>>60568530
bro wants to be dracula flow so bad

>>60568530
10/10

>>60568530
Thank you for that

>>60568411 (OP)
There's a lot of talent hidden out there in various trailer parks, so nothing is guranteed. Webm very related: https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1751410487824955.webm

>>60568530
kek.

>>60568411 (OP)
Are these hotdogs even good?

>>60568530
Please NEVER take your meds.

>>60570147
yeah.

>>60568411 (OP)
You should definitely bet everything on Joey OP

This still up? Kek.
>>60572679
All in.