i poop exclusively at work in order to save time in home.
if you spend weekly 3 hours in the bathroom, that's 12 hours a month saved.
tip: use loperamide medication at home and drink tons of coffee at work. you won't feel like shitting at home but here's a thing, coffee stimulates bowel movement, meaning that you'll only shit at work
thank me later

>>60596152 (OP)
Based. Thanks for the solid OP.

>>60596152 (OP)
The cute girl at work told me a story the other day that she hates the one cleaning woman because she left the girls room door open while she was shitting. I've never had a girl be so candid about her shitting before

I hate shitting at work, Indians destroy our bathrooms. No idea what they eat but our toilets have shit caked on the back toilet wall every time

>>60596152 (OP)
>>60596163
>>60596166
>>60596186

Anyone that shits in any toilet that is not the one in his own house in the morning of every single day is a subhuman animal and is not equal to me.

Unless you have like a medical emergency.

>>60596152 (OP)
tip: use loperamide medication at home
Um, don't be taking antidiarrheal medication like it's candy. That shit is associated with cardiac issues.

>tip: use loperamide medication at home
Um, don't be taking antidiarrheal medication like it's candy. That shit is associated with cardiac issues.
This is terrible advice to dispense OP.

>>60596152 (OP)
I spend 3 hours a day sitting on the toilet.

>>60596166
The one at my job won't stop telling me about her IUD. I think when you're attractive and everyone is constantly fawning over you, that you think nothing you can say is inappropriate,weird or gross.

>>60596152 (OP)
I do the same. I also come around 15 minutes late, go 15 minutes earlier and take extended lunch breaks (roughly 30 minutes). I have been doing that for the last 8 years.

>>60596199
t. enraged boss
>>60596213
anything in high dosages is harmful. i use around 3mg of loperamide daily and my yearly checkup is always fine
>>60596235
good advice i forgot to mention, arriving late and leaving early is also something that buy me some time. in a week i save about 1 hour to 1 hour and half just by doing this.

I only shit at home so I can maximize shareholder value. You see, I am a shareholder, so really I'm maximizing value for myself

>>60596152 (OP)
I "work" from home and just whatever the fuck I want to lel

>>60596152 (OP)
>3 hours
Retard i need 5 minutes a day including washing my hand, you need to eat real food and cut fiber
>>60596213
This

>>60596152 (OP)
I take like 3 20 minute shits a day at work. I also make sure my bowels are emptied out while on the clock before I head home. The caffeine advice is good too. I’ll drink some green tea before hitting the shitter.

>>60596306
it's not about the fiber, it's about having more free time at home and less work. seethe bossman

I forgot to add I also eat my breakfast at work. Its usually coming in late, taking a shit, preparing my breakfast and after everything is all done I start looking for podcasts to listen to.

>>60596224
Based and Hemorrhoid pilled

I invented pooping on the job in 1999 after dismissing my staff at Pizza Hut on a cold winter night. As the turtle head protruded from my tight, 19-year old virgin anus, I lit a cigarette and realized I had forgotten to clock out before retreating to the men's room and it's thick musk of mass-oroduced urinal cakes. I produced a log borne of a steady diet of buffet leftovers and free refills. They say it's more peaceful near a body of water and in that peaceful, serene moment I decided Pizza Hut can afford to lose the few minutes worth of wages. My wagie colon was trained over the years of menial labor to act quickly and efficiently as a show of gratitude to my employer for generously allowing me to take an unauthorized break. Today, since the news of an indoor smoking ban reached the great plains, I prefer to make stool in the comfort of my home. My advice to young scatters is: every day carry your toilet paper of choice because you never know what the host establishment provides in exchange for your deposit. Gobbless.

>>60596152 (OP)
This is bad advice. We got a guy at work that gets mocked relentlessly for being the guy who does this. Management has to keep giving him busy work so he doesn't go sit in the bathroom. Also you smell like shit no matter how much you try to wipe

>>60596199
checked, this is true
>>60596224
based really getting shit done
>>60598190
>As the turtle head protruded from my tight, 19-year old virgin anus
interesting way to tell you have been fucked in the ass, bravo

>>60596152 (OP)
>3 hours a week
>less than 30 min a workday
Rookie numbers. Job is currently a lot less busy so I can take an hour shit and no one will notice.

>>60596228
If she is attractive then no man wants to asy anything that may hamper his chance at potentially fucking her. I dated this stunning 27yo blonde bimbo who in a moment of rare clarity said to me "I say retarded shit all the time but nobody says anything because I am hot."

Rookie numbers ITT. But my office toilets are made for sissies and my balls hit the water when I sit down. But I have come to enjoy it

>>60598565
She also told me about how her dad can't wipe his own ass and has to use a silicon stick to hold the toilet paper and reach back there. I think was totally unprompted. "Anon, do you ever have trouble wiping? Well let me tell you something..."

>>60596152 (OP)
same. i also look at my charts. all the blood red from ket and pepe and shib and all the others in my retardfolio make me shit even more out of sheer anxiety and anger. also inspires me to spend even more time on the job toilet, both to stink up the place out of spite and to maximize wasted company time.
>>60596281
cool, hope you get run over by a car one random day without a chance to react or see it coming.