>Be me, married two kids
>Oldest son acting up so I confiscate his phone for the day
>Come back from work and my room is tossed, drawers open
>Son found collection of dildos
>Wife has some weird thing she doesn't want them on her side of the room so they stay in my beside table
>Son crying hysterically, thinks they're mine and I'm a massive homo
>Won't believe me
I need an investment to turn this day around, /biz/. Pitch me some stonks or shitcoins. At this stage I'll take a punt on anything

>>60685963 (OP)
Kek, one fat short on the pi resistance comming up

>>60685963 (OP)
Beat him until he understands toxic masculinity.

>>60685991
I would never raise a hand to the little scamp
>>60685982
Short what? Ticker pls

>>60685963 (OP)
Tell him you can prove it, then make him smell your butt and then the dildo

>>60685963 (OP)
I have been seeing signs today to buy PEPE. Today this board hit a record number of frog posting and I saw a frog in my work parking lot for the first time and there’s no water around.

>>60685963 (OP)
You could always have a sit down with your child. Have the wife present while you display the dildos in such a way that you don’t even know how to operate it correctly. This is where your wife will show off how to professionally set on the table with a suction cup...you could also heat up some salmon and let the scent make your boy really think it's your wife's toys...also keep it on her side cuz that's a lot of hassle.

>>60685963 (OP)
>MARIOx01
noob
$abt or $sxt

>>60685963 (OP)
I had a lot of fun playing that game. Thanks for the flashback

>>60685963 (OP)
lmao

give the little faggot his phone back. he's going to be just like his degenerate parents no reason to fight it.

>>60686098
Ok this is the first sensible reply so I'm tossing 1k into PEPE. Thanks fren
>>60686205
I once played through I think 3 times in a row because I thought there would be an Easter egg if I completed it, but it just kept looping back to the start

>wife has a collection of dildos and he is ok with it
You are a massive cuck faggot

>>60685963 (OP)
>wife

>>60686243
It's only four, and she uses them between rounds so I can recover. I can't go back to back anymore, please understand
>>60686273
Riddle me this batman, if they were mine why would I have them so insecurely stowed? I'd hide that secret butt-shame in a safe with an iris scanner

>>60685963 (OP)
honestly why the fuck does he care so much if you like dildos up your ass or not, and why do you care if that bothers him? Very weird and creepy relationship you guys have.

>>60686370
Just because your dad takes it up the ass doesn't mean everyone's dad does. It's normal for the kid to be weirded/grossed out by it, although crying is an overreaction and makes me think hes probably being bullied because other kids think hes a fag and he just found out he has a fag dad.

>>60686446
Why would you even bother to worry about your dad taking it in the ass is my question. Who would care? When I was a kid I was just focused on getting pussy. If my dad was taking it in his ass every night that would not affect my game plan in any way whatsoever. Maybe his kid is gay?

>>60686446
>He just found out he has a fag dad
I'm right here, anon. What part of "my wife's dildo collection" is giving you trouble?

You didn't fool your son and you're not fooling us either faggot