My mother is in dire need to sell most (or all) of her crypto but Coinbase won't let her log in. She unexpectedly showed up at my home yesterday with her laptop asking me to help her troubleshoot

When she tries to log in to the Coinbase website it texts a 6 digit verification code to her outdated cellphone number which she discarded in 2023 so she can view that code. I tried calling her obsolete number to politely ask the new owner (who strikes me as a technologically half-literate 106 year old woman in early Alzheimer's stages based off my initial impression) to text me the 6 digits but despite my gift of gab the clueless cunt mistook me for a scammer and blocked my number. After that no-go we next tried clicking the "Recover my account" option which asked us to send her photo ID verification (AND her "livesteamed selfie") which told us to F off 3 attempts in a row. We're not 100% certain why it rejects her photo ID and her "livestreamed selfie verification" but the best hypothesis we can come up with is since she shared her Coinbase account with her late husband (unrelated but I can tell you with very reasonable certainty that Dr.Fauci is the reason my dad is dead btw) who died suddenly in 2021 that Coinbase's website wants his ID verification, not hers. Which erects a gargantuan wall in her path, because she is no longer in possession of my father's photo ID. And even if she had kept a copy, how on Earth can she be expected to provide Coinbase INC a "livestreamed selfie" of a dead man?

Idk what to do. My mother knows what 4chan is, she knows I've fucking loved 4chan since 2005, but she doesn't know how to operate 4chan so she asked me to ask you /biz/ bigshots for tips on her behalf. It really breaks my heart watching her get screwed out of her "inheritance" by digital bureaucracy. Thoughts? pic unrelated and thanks for your help /biz/ bros

>>60734519 (OP)
don't they have a FAQ or something were they answer how to proceed when the account owner dies?

>>60734519 (OP)
call the old woman from another phone number and try to trick her into giving you her home address, i know that this sounds like a nigger move but the only way to recover that Coinbase account (that is in your father name i guess) is to steal her phone while she's not around.

>>60734573
>Isn't there an FAQ?
Idk. We did not have enough time to seek out FAQs to browse together as she barely even had enough free time to work in our 2 hour team-up yesterday what with her demanding job as a retired grandmother in charge of overseeing my evil asshole brother's 3 kids

>>60734587
>sounds like a nigger move but why not just track down the old woman and beat the required data out of her?
Because I'd rather not resort to violence unless it ends up being my only remaining option

>>60734669
i mean, maybe you should start by contacting coinbase instead of 4chan lol

>>60734678
>Who cares what advice 4chan may or may not offer?
>Just ask the Coinbase Corporation immediately
She plans to stop by again tomorrow at which point we'll probably start out with attempting contact with Coinbase's armies of bots and employees. Naturally we figured it'd be sensible to ask my dearly beloved friendlings on the 4chan for advice first in the meantime and then ask Coinbase's corporate drones for advice second

>>60734519 (OP)
>Contact Coinbase Support Directly: File a formal support ticket through Coinbase's official channels Explain the situation about the deceased account holder and provide death certificate Request to speak with a specialist who handles deceased account cases Be persistent - initial support responses are often automated Gather Required Documentation: Death certificate for your father Proof that your mother is the rightful heir/beneficiary Her current valid photo ID Any documentation showing the shared nature of the account

OP, my top advice is making a big stink on Twitter. If it gets negative PR, companies will bend over backwards to help out. Make some salty tweets and see if it works lol

>>60734519 (OP)
not her keys not her coins. sorry anon, prepare to lose it all. also future tip, never voluntarily use SMS for 2fa.

>>60734519 (OP)
>granny kept her coins on an exchange
They're as gone as her husband. Lucky this is a fuddie larp.

This story is like dealing with a methhead, theres always some elaborate excuse or reason why the most logical option cannot be done. OP is giving weird vibes

>>60735003
google coinbase frozen account for more crackhead stories

>>60734669
have you tried... calling them?

>>60735011
kek, just read one where a guy gets a new phone and i guess immediately trades or sells his old one but doesn't deactivate authenticator on it and gets account drained.
you are right, trading in your phone that had your crypto accounts on it is peak crack thinking

>>60734889
>also future tip, never voluntarily use SMS for 2fa.
Thoughts on security keys like Yubikey for 2FA? I just removed SMS and replaced it with Yubikey+backups.

Part of cryptos price is fueled by theft. Theyll freeze it for 61 or 91 days depending on the state and then legal confiscation on account that the crypto has been abandoned.

>>60734867
>Have you considered transforming your Dogshit dilemma into a golden opportunity by repaying Coinbase's negligence with 6 tons of negative PR? Should be a piece of cake for an experienced Twitter composer such as yourself
I like the way you think, partner. Except I'm banned from Twitter. Generally my protocol is to avoid any temptation associated with redpilling strangers online whenever a website involves any manner of account creation procedures. A few years ago however I made a rare exception to said protocol when I heard word that Elon Musk purchased Twitter famously proclaiming his true alleged goal was he just wanted to bring back free speech back to the web. I was curious if he was full of shit so I created a Twitter account as an experiment to investigate the situation myself

My career on Twitter turned out to be a short-lived experience, lasting less than a single weekend before being issued a wrongthink ban. I tweeted Muslims are violent and was immediately exiled forever as a consequence for my statement. That's the extent of Elon Musk's brave new world of "free speech" for all. And I would bet I would've been banned harder and faster than even that if I instead tweeted Jews are greedy. I work in the Dog industry so unlike most 4chan fundamentalists I actually hate followers of blindly bigoted anti-Dogger faiths like Islam and Voodoo even more than I hate the professional conman followers of Judaism

>>60734889
>never voluntarily use SMS for 2fa
Why not? my intentions did not feel dishonest or illegal in the slightest. I guess you're suggesting cybercriminal scumsucker are perpetually spying on my text conversations at all times hoping they're entitled to claim a portion of my digital treasure? is thievery of that fashion a common occurrence or are such risks over-exaggerated?

You need to present Coinbase a certificate of death from her husband, likely via email. That will allow your mother to get access, but you will need to call Coinbase and ask what information needs to be presented aside from the COD. This is not the most complicated situation they have faced, so I'm optimistic your mother will be able to sell. Godspeed.

>>60735038
Personally I think it's fud, a paid campaign of some sort. All the stories are elaborate and nonsensical.

>>60734519 (OP)
Your posts are weird and feel off. So despite being in a position to help you, I am going to choose not to.

>>60734964
>Cease your larp, fuddie!
This isn't a larp, buddy!

>>60735003
>>60735011
>Fuck off methhead your vibes fail to inspire an ounce of confidence on my end
>Tongue my anus crackhead nobody buys your fake gay story you clown
I assure you I'm not a huge fan of hardcore drugs I also assure you the details I mentioned in the OP are legitimate

>>60735038
>trading in a phone
It was her work phone that she relinquished upon her retirement in this instance

>>60735033
As I said, that's our plan for tomorrow afternoon when we do our second troubleshooting team-up. She didn't exactly have 24 hours of free time during our previous interaction, after wasting over an hour trying to log in last time we decided to put this off until Monday. Our assumption is it'll involve a long wait interacting with phone bots, being put on hold for an eternity, eventually talking to some incompetent 3rd world ESL tech support man who earns less than $1 an hour with luck

>>60735158
>Sorry to be the bringer of bad news but thieves certainly confiscated her coins
>Like it or not, that's the way the system works
I'm not sure I follow. She never took any steps to close (or abandon) her Coinbase account per say, she just never bothered trying to log in to her account in recent years

>Depending on the state
New Jersey. is that bad news or good news?

If this is not a larp, find the name of a higher-up (not C-Suite) in the CB security/compliance department, then message them on LinkedIn with this story and the predicament you have found yourself in.
All of this, of course, hinges on you having a LinkedIn account that is legitimate and non-scammy appearing. Good luck.

Why exactly does anyone use Coinbase anyway?
>high fees
>only lets you trade coins that have already pumped and dumped
>always down when there's a lot of activity
>randomly freezes accounts and makes it impossible to unfreeze
>worse than India-tier customer service

>>60735253
>I'm in a position to help
>But I won't! Fuck you and fuck your mother, weirdo!
I appreciate your helpful input

>>60735222
I'm not a paid shill ffs I don't even know who to talk to about landing a job that pays me to surf 4chan boards spamming gay PR garbage on behalf of mysterious corporate overlords. I am well aware that such job titles do exist but idk how the hell one goes about getting hired for such a ridiculous gig

>>60735202
That sounds simple enough. Thanks for the information

>>60735283
>>trading in a phone
i was talking about other coinbase lock outs i read about, in your case your mom changed her number, which is the big problem

Not logging in for over 61 days counts as abandoning your crypto which can then be legally escheated to the state. Its been going on for years and jewmedia censors it

>>60734964
>>60735301
>>60735222
>>60735253
>Heh, we all see through your phony disguise! do you honestly believe you can fool us YOU LARPING FUCKING SHILL CUMSTAIN?
>SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL! SHILL!
>Are you sure you're not a SHILL, freak????
>Everybody point and laugh at this fucking guy's pathetic failed larp attempt!
You people make me chuckle. Until tonight I thought /pol/ held champion status in terms of throwing the highest quantity of baseless accusations at me implying I'm some well-paid shitposting official Mossad agent and/or rabbi or/and corporate shill or whatever but /biz/ holds that throne. good job guys

You're full of nonsense.

All you need to do is talk to an agent and they will live check all your ID and security info.

I lost my CB account info and phone number at least 3 times now in the past 8 years, also with Binance. I didn't log in for nearly 3 years and they checked my ID with a video and past info.

>>60734519 (OP)
Report coinbase for fraud, they stole your mother's money.

You have to engage a probate attorney. Navigating this space is expensive so proceed with caution. There are services that will do this for you w/o a retainer in exchange for a percentage of what they recover: https://www.bitcoin.com/wallet-recovery/

>>60735283
Crypto with work phone.
Dumb mom.

>>60734678
But that wouldn’t be any fun anon, unlike this larp. Summer is over soon.

>>60734519 (OP)
call up the /biz/ anon who digs up corpses for graverobbing (someone post the cap)

>>60734519 (OP)
Lost second factor authentication
Contact Coinbase support

>>60734519 (OP)
sounds like the perfect jeet scam scheme. thats how they'll take it too :D

>>60735161
>Why not?
Passive snooping isn't the 2FA hacker threat, an active sim-swap attack is the threat. Have you not seen 'sim swap attack' in the news?

Just use an Authenticator app. And another authenticator app on a backup device so you can't lose it. It works even if you lose or change your mobile number.

>>60734519 (OP)
Back in 2019 when customer service was really really bad they didn’t respond until I threatened them with a lawyer and to contact my state financial regulatory board I forgot the exact name just look it up for your state. Coinbase has to register with them to operate in the state may work as last resort

>>60740581
wow, full on proper bot thread
"pretend to not know how inheritance works" was a good touch

>>60740649
meant to tag op

>>60735202
Seconding this. It's best to go through the standard channels when there's been a death

>>60735305
This

>>60734519 (OP)
>>60735161
This is either AI generated or you're a chronic gooner alcoholic. I've known one and this is exactly what he yapped like.