Thread 21657608

Anyone else impressed by the food at Medieval Times?

>>21657608 (OP)
No

I always wanted to go but nobody ever wanted to go with me.

>>21657624
My ex made me go, I almost got kicked out for screaming at the other knights and banging on the glass.

>>21657608 (OP)
Went as a kid like 30 years ago and while I can’t recall anything about the show I remember really enjoying the meal

>>21657624
Same

>>21657608 (OP)
I don't remember the food but I remember me and my friends beating the piss out of each other with the wooden swords from the gift shop.

>>21657626
>white trash moment

>>21657624
I'll go with you

>>21657684
I didn’t want to go, her kids were being annoying so I started drinking before we even got there

>>21657608 (OP)
i miss waitresses that didn't have an acre of tattoos

>>21657738
>my wife's son

>>21657608 (OP)
I can see that waitresses' bra strap
It's invoking passion in me. She has no recourse but accept my passion, for she tempted me with her sultry upkeep
God i love larping as a drunkard laying the tavern wench so much

>>21657608 (OP)
I was
When I was 6yo in the '80s

>>21657608 (OP)
Yakov Smirnoff's Dinner Theatre in Branson, MO has better food imo. Medieval Times doesn't even real magnetic plates and cutlery.

>>21657626
You are supposed to enjoy from you're seats you friggin n word

>>21657672
Momma couldn't afford the sword but I could get the axe somehow, I just held it upside down and pretended I had a weird sword since there was a perfect amount for my hand.

>>21657608 (OP)
Yes. I'd like to dine on boiled potatoes and large legs of meat roasted over an open fire.

>See medieval times ad online for the first time ever
>there's also a thread on /ck/
Something feels off here

I’m going on Saturday, if I didn’t assume all of the wait staff were going to be half my age I would brush up on my cable guy references.

>>21657608 (OP)
>eat served served in an enclosed space with aerosolized horse shit
absolutely disgusting

>>21659747
She was just trying to stop you from looking like a faggot, but you sure showed her

I think the food is delishes, and actually the show is top-tier. Yes it's not real fighting of course, but world class horses and horsemanship, and they even got a falconer with a trained falcon which is pretty cool to see.

But for me, it's the knights. :]

>>21659735
Why in the fuck would I want magnetic plates and cutlery? That sounds retarded

>>21657932
post more cringe like this

>>21660125

>Yes it's not real fighting of course
Lame. I want to eat at The Colliseum while gladiators fight to the death.

>>21657738
based

>>21659735
>For dinner, you will be served American food with a Russian flair! Enjoy Mouthwatering Smoked Beef Brisket, Grilled Chicken Breast, Creamy Vegetable Soup, Yukon Gold Mashed Potatoes, Vegetable Medley, a Dinner Roll and a complimentary drink. For dessert, you will indulge in Scrumptious Strawberry Shortcake!
>Reviews
>We were disappointed that so much of this show is just on the screen. I prefer live productions. We did not like the food. It came in a box you hold on your lap.
>Your sit in regular theatre seats that are fairly small and pull up a side tray to put the food on. The tray and platter have magnets so the food would slide off but it is very crowded and you are shoulder to shoulder with the people next to you. Unfortunately our food may have been tasty once but was very cool (not even slightly warm) as if it had never been well heated.

>>21659857
>medieval times
>potatoes
Wew, lad.

I’m old enough to remember when the waitresses were called “wenches” and dressed like this, with their titties out, and you were expected to talk down to them.

My uncle got drunk there once and our knight won and he kept telling our wench to “fuck him in our presence.” lol she broke character and said she was going to have him thrown out, but instead came back and brought him a beer…and for some reason was showing more cleavage. I’d like to think that she complained to her boomer boss who told her to “stfu and get back to work and whore it up.” Now it’s all fagged out and they have a “Queen.” After the shows you could take pictures with the wenches and I have a picture where I’m like 8 with my head sandwiched between two chicks with huge tits like pic related.

>>21660727
>I’m old enough to remember when the waitresses were called “wenches”
They still do, can’t speak on behalf of the outfits until after this weekend.

>>21659735
they stopped serving food 10 years ago

>>21657624
>thinking you need to go to places like this with people

>>21660477
you really don't anon. it's unbecoming.

This question is asked here irregularly but consistently, enough so I think it's astroturfing.
That being said, I tend to look them up and balk at the price every time.

>>21659735
>>21660574
It was kino
>>21661065
very unfortunate

>>21660477
Until one of them gets their neck cracked open and their jugular spews blood all over your cornish game hen.

>>21661119
you get a whonderful meal and almost 2 hours of live entertainment. they have the best quality horses in the country (look it up it's true) and each show features dozens of them, plus all the staff and the whole show production. you're spending maybe $100 for dinner and watching a few million dollars worth of horses. plus the knights anon, THE KNIGHTS

>>21661134
That's a great story to tell later tho. Imagine how many (You)s you would get.

>>21657608 (OP)
Its alright. I prefer real fights though, even if I just get food truck stuff at them.

>>21661165
man that shit is so fucking cringe and pathetic. I have to hide your post, nothing personal but my god the 3rd party embarrassment is making me have to shit

>>21661165
Wtf exactly is this madness?

>>21661174
Buhurt/Armored MMA. This was a tournament I went to in Houston in August. Good fights all around, though by the end a couple fighters suffered minor heat stroke and they were all too exhausted for a final every-man-for-himself fight after the awards went out.

>>21661174
incredibly out of shape and inept edgelords basically having a pillow fight. It's so fucking insulting to the training, physical fitness, and battlefield prowess of medieval knights, who dedicated their lives from childhood to being role models of masculinity and capability. I'm absolutely disgusted by this.

>>21661169
I still say this would be good to watch live while eating cause some crazy injury could happen at any moment and you can sorta look around excited at different groups. It would be better to watch duels because this is just about getting surrounds and catching people off guard. Duels would be like sumo almost.

>>21661186
I guess so. I would be more impressed if they were properly trained from a historical perspective. this couch potato flailing is more redneck than a demolition derby

>>21657738
thanks for confirming you're white trash

>>21661186
The 1v1s (profights) can be good. This one was 2 simultanious duels, front one women and rear one men. Wish I recorded the titanweights, damn good fights.
>>21661193
You'd probably like HEMA more then
https://youtu.be/n8QlbKfX84k

>>21661231
Btw the danish chick was hot as hell when she took the helmet off.

>>21661165
>>21661231
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhF1i23vwps
In Europe, we do things a bit differently.

>>21661286
Fuck the coof and ukraine shit for killing BotN

>>21657932
Umm... the proper reaction would be "there were no bras in the middle ages, please remove it"

>>21660727
>and for some reason was showing more cleavage
They DO work for tips

i hope to go there some day looks fun af,

>>21657608 (OP)
From what I remember it was like meh barbecue. Half a yard bird, some corn or something, a baked tater, bread, and booze.

>>21657626
Glorious /hoc/ boy

>>21657608 (OP)
Needs more milk methinks.

>>21661158
and the whole time you're being enticed to make a la carte purchases I'll bet.

>>21657738
hell yeah brother

>>21661158
>plus the knights anon, THE KNIGHTS
Are you gay or something?

>>21657608 (OP)
I was too scared of knights and the serving girls and all the medieval stuff to go as kid. My dad always tried to take me to MT and Renaissance Fairs but I would have anxiety attacks and meltdown and refuse to go because the medieval theme terrified me. I was 7-12 when I refuesd to go and I really regret not going because my dad died in a freak accident when I was a young teen and I'm still terrified of knights and serving girls and medieval stuff.

>>21661482
the only a la carte offerings are buze. soft drinks and refills are included as are dessert. they have a bitchin' gift shop though. I think post-show snuggles with the knights are free too :O

>>21661504
:O

>>21661551
Nobody cares about your gayness, you're playing to the wrong audience

>>21661573
I'm talking about the quality of the entertainment, the food, and the overall value of the experience. you literally started the conversation about gaiety and now you're blaming me.

I never said I was nuffin brah.

They have one in like the shittiest part of NJ. I have been there 6 times

last time I went all the knights were Mexicans. Is there any job whites are willing to do anymore?

>>21661653
pretty soon they'll have to do all of them :3

>>21657740
Yeah man everyone being fat and tattooed and 'queer' has made historical venues so lame.

>>21661692
but anon this photo was taken in 1296

>>21661716
that looks like a still from love death robots s3 jibaro

>>21661920
never heard of it but a quick google dot com confirms this. neat!

>>21661938
that episode is so sexy

>>21661181
This. Faggots found a way to posture without risking getting their shit rocked in MMA.

>>21661331
This is pretty funny. It's like those guys at Starbucks who think "no for real she was DEFINITELY hitting on me bro" rather than just working for tip.
She cuts all the times you can see him about to give a flower to someone else.

>>21657608 (OP)
>Medieval Times
How were they supposed to even tell time if they didn't have watches?

>>21661181
You're really falling for the mythology?
Most knights were corrupt drunks who devoted their lives to profiteering nepotistic children of lords who were sent off to expand their family's influence. Their adventures included rape, murder and theft typically
They were not by any means role models

>>21662739
role models of masculinity and capability, not role models of morality. yes they touted the chivalric code but that wasn't much of a reality. like anyone in a position of influence they could be cruel, and the general peasantry distrusted knights as a matter of course.

>>21661650
The one in lyndhurst? I drove 2 hours to go, but the area didn’t seem that awful

>>21661528
jesus christ anon, take care

>>21662739
>Their adventures included rape, murder and theft
Where do I sign up?

>>21663159
Okay but like he is distractingly hot. Holy shit.

>>21663319
I've reached an age where I have leaned away from prettyboys and a bit more toward rugged masculinity, so although I agree I think I still prefer >>21661331

In saying that the squire in the green tunic is pretty distracting and is more of a prettyboy himself. He'll make a fine knight someday.

>>21660727
>he kept telling our wench to “fuck him in our presence."
>“fuck him in our presence."
>in our presence

bahahahahahahaha

>>21661119
What do you think "astroturfing" is, schizo? Something unnatural and for sinister purposes? Don't come here if you're so suspicious of "glowies" or whatever you conspiracyfags believe in this week.

>>21661181
I'm disgusted by you. You have no masculinity or capability. You don't train at anything. Fat incel online all day. Just look at the lame images you post. Fuck off. You're insulting.

>>21657608 (OP)
When I was in middle school my entire graduating class was taken to the Medieval Times outside of Baltimore during an overnight DC field trip. Most of my classmates got food poisoning. The bus had to pull over several times on the way back to the hotel for people to puke. Great trip, 10/10.

>>21663751
>Baltimore

Fuck yeah medieval times.
>>21663159
I want to look like this :3
>>21663335
B&W looks a bit lanky but that green page (?) can get it.

i went on 06/06/06
ill always remember that because for some reason all the fat black boomers in my town are super religious baptists and my teacher refused to get on the bus that day because she said it was the devils day

We don't have them were I live, but there are some middle age themed events.
A bunch of my friends are involved with those, but I never managed to go.
In the future perhaps.

>>21665469
>middle age themed events

I almost went when I went to California, but the performers were striking so I got a refund. Got knighted by the striking princesses.
Also, a neat article:
https://archive.is/bEUzI

>>21660574
>Vegetable Medley
FUCK YES

Medieval Times < Pirate’s Dinner Adventure

>>21665494
pirates aren't nearly as hearthrobbing as knights anon

>>21665500
Idk my man Andre was pretty captivating

>>21660125
going down down down, red knight going down.

>>21657626
Real Gorilla behavior

>>21660727
kek

>>21657608 (OP)
i liked the chicken as a kid

>>21661169
you're just jealous

>>21661165
>CLANG CLANG CLANG
>CAM ON INGURLAND
>SPEAR SUM FACKIN GAULS

>>21663159
you are gay therefore not a reliable source on history
homosexual males in history have been notorious schemers, decievers, and tricksters (chinese imperial court eunuchs, joseph goebbels, zen buddhist monks)

>>21657608 (OP)
I remember them giving me a whole chicken and the best tomato soup I had ever had. I still cant figure out how to make tomato soup as good as that

>>21661165
I dunno, at least Medieval Times is intended as entertainment. I went to a few HEMA events last year and after the first it's really just more of the same, not interesting unless you get into it more seriously (like any sport I guess).

>>21657608 (OP)
I miss when girls wore those sexy narrow glasses with the black frames.
Shit was so fucking sexy.
Now we're in like the 10th year in a row of giant bug-eye Harry Potter glasses and Cat-Eye feminist glasses.

>>21657626
Such churlish behavior has no place at Medieval Times. Be lucky the Sherrif didn't clap you in irons.

>>21657608 (OP)
We should have some franchise like that in France, that would print millions, especially in touristic cities like Paris.

>>21657740

Is that the girl who got kidnapped at the concert, got released, then cheated on her bf while he was still in captivity?

>>21657608 (OP)
Yes

>>21669167
No

I went to the last showing at the one in Anaheim and come to find out all the knights will come out to the bar to shoot the shit with the patrons. I was expecting them to be nerdy neckbeards like you’d see at ren fairs but they were all 6’+ chads who do forest fighting or are EMT. Annoying cuz it made flirting with girls there fucking impossible but they were bros and cool to have a beer with.

Is anyone going to post or talk about the food?

It's the whole reason I came here.

You know what medieval meat I always wanted to try? Squab. Pigeon meat. Has anyone eaten pigeon meat?

>>21669203
I mean there isn’t much to say. It’s the same meal day in and day out, it’s dead simple to make and not fuck up, and everyone gets the same thing so they can do volume. It’s better than average for that exact reason, if it’s only one thing your making for the last 20+ years you’ve probably figured it out.

>some bread
>Mulligitawny Soup
>half a roast chicken
>some potatoes
>some corn on the cob
>an apple tart

It cannot cost them more than $8 per meal to make but it’s $50 for kids and $80 for adults.

Did they ever serve the giant turkey legs like out of Cable Guy.

>>21669203
I've heard it sucks. There are reviews on youtube if you're really curious. The food doesn't look very good.

>>21666858
The waitress told the kids it was "blood soup" and the knights drink it to be strong and able to battle.

>>21657740
god damn

>in 1998 when i was 8 my family went to socal for a family vacation (disney, universal)
>the last night we went to medieval times
>my 16 year old sister is chosen by our knight as our section's princess
>the knight would hold attach a scarf to his joust pole and the girl would grab the scarf as a souvenir or whatever
>my mom yells "kiss it! kiss it!"
>my sister kisses the end of the knight's pole
>the crowd erupts in laughter
>the knight says to grab the scarf
>she grabs the scarf
>after the show we get invited to meet our knight because of my sister
>the knight hits on my sister
>my dad says she's 16
>the knight apologizes
>mfw i was going to sleep on the ride home but instead i listened to my dad explained all of the different ways he wanted to murder that knight all night long

>>21669536
Based Knight imo

>>21669536
good story hahaha

>>21657626
>>21657738
lol

>>21660477
We very likely get this again in our lifetime once it all collapses

>>21669536
Think about it logically

>>21669536
I laughed. But what happened to your sister? Did she grow up and keep licking Knight tip with your mother's encouragement? She sounds like the kind girl from school who grew up to become a single mother.

>>21657608 (OP)
I took my gf last year; it was a blast and the food was surprisingly great. Chicken was flavorful and moist -- not dry at all. We even got a couple nice photos together at the photo booth. 5/5 date.

>>21669979
do they still offer photos/snuggles with the knights after the show?

i went in 2017 for my ex's birthday. We both got really drunk cause friends drove. Got a cool goblet looking thing I still use to this day. 10/10 it was fun and I remember the half chicken being tasty. Makes me wanna pick up a smoked turkey leg, grill it and eat it like I'm at a ren faire now.

it was a 2 hour drive though.

>>21661105
i am wondering how they can make a profit this shit looks expensive and so many people/actors

>>21670112
>>21669255
The food is $8 max for them to make. They charge $50-$80 per ticket.
They do 3 shows a day.
Average 150 people per show, 400 max.
That’s $36000 a day, roughly, just off ticket sales and not counting alcohol/merch. Probably netting closer to $60k per day and that’s not counting a full house on the weekend where it’s probably half a million for Friday and Saturday. The business model is brilliant really, the dinner is the cheapest expense for them. I bet feeding the horses is more expensive than feeding the people.

>>21670112
well, they do 2-3 shows a day 7 days a week, about 1500 people.

That could bring about $1.6M a week in revenue which is enough to pay $1000 to over 1600 people. Obviously the operating costs are probably half their expenses but they probably employ about 100 people, some full-time and on high salaries and many whagies.

But idunno how much it costs to stable several dozen purebred horses and the expense of running such an arena and high production show, with insurance, etc. They seem to be making it work. They also sell a ton of merch I guess.

Every time my family visited southern California my parents would plan to take us to Medieval Times but every time my dad would get upset and throw a fit over something not going exactly the way he wanted so he would ruin the whole trip and take us home early.

>>21670127
>>21670125
I also know the knights get paid garbage wages for the amount of physical work they have to do PLUS all the training. I’ve had several admit they only do it for the free food, booze, and pussy.

>>21670136
whelp at least you know where you get your autism from anon

>>21661165
this looks like Medieval Times gone NHL. kek

Food is fine. I like the soup. Though the creamy one you get at the Dolly Parton dinner theaters is better.

>>21657626
>I almost got kicked out for screaming at the other knights
>the other knights
What did he mean by this?

>>21670341
Depending on what section you sit in. You get assigned a knight to cheer for with a little flag. The dude was being belligerent to the "other teams" knights and acting like a drunken retard.

>>21670446
>The dude was being belligerent to the "other teams" knights and acting like a drunken retard.
based