What kind of report do the police need to write up when Superman just walks in and throws a random guy in a cell?

>>149297192 (OP)
Case Number: 8675309 Date: Today
Reporting officer: Anon

Incident: Today Faggot OP was too stupid to understand cartoons. Witnesses state that his autism lead him to believe that real life and fiction are not separate concepts and thus he over fixates on pointless details that aren't germane to the story being told.

>>149297272
Amongst all of the ragebait, coomershit, drama, non-/co/, and twitter screencap threads, this is the one you decide to sperg out over.

>>149297192 (OP)
Writers who know Superman is a boyscout like to poke at this sort of thing, but realistically if a being as incomprehensibly powerful as Superman showed up and started throwing people in jail, most people wouldn't test his morals.

Anyway the answer for those like OP paying more attention to how witty they imagine they can be than the routine plot is Clark Kent and Lois filling in the details to the authorities.
>B-but due process
If Superman had to get involved with your arrest no one's going to play along with legal minutia so you're let out long enough to activate your doomsday weapon or whatever.

>>149297399
Subject follows up on his retardation by insinuating that because others act moronic his stupid ass shouldn't be called out.

>>149297192 (OP)
I imagine the simplest way would be for the police to just deputize Superman (legally they would probably have to, otherwise anyone he detained would get off scott free if they had a competent lawyer). So he can write his own arrest reports. Which he can do at super speed on the typewriter provided by his job.

>>149297791
>legally they would probably have to, otherwise anyone he detained would get off scott free if they had a competent lawyer
Could probably file it as a citizens arrest but probably opens more issues with how Superman is classified by the law in general. Guy lives in the north pole, does he count as a citizen of any naiton?

Superman usually has tons of eyewitnesses and a lot of comic criminals know when they're beat and simply confess to probably get a better sentence when they're caught.
>>149298872
Most people don't even know the fortress of solitude exists so they probably think he just lives in Metropolis or somewhere close in the area. Considering he looks like a white guy, and speaks with an American accent people will assume he's American, people would probably raise some eyebrows if he spoke with a different accent and would assume he's from there instead, we as the reader know that Clark is a naturalized immigrant from Krypton adopted and raised by an the Kents but the average citizen would probably assume he's a metahuman and not an alien.

>>149297192 (OP)
In most cases there's incriminating evidence or other eyewitnesses to what happened so that they're convicted. As Clark Kent he can report on things, give a report to the police, and even testify in court. If time's really a factor then there's probably something the police can use to keep someone in jail while evidence is gathered against them.

>>149297399
Kill yourself. Only a fucking newfag tourist complains about that shit. I'm not going to tell you to go to plebbit. I'm going to tell you to eat a fistful of diazepam, wash it down with cheap vodka, and go to bed with a cozy plastic bag over your fucking head.

>>149299654
ironically the most reddit post itt so far
a simple kill yourself would have sufficed without the gay creative writing exercise

>>149297399
>coomershit
As much as they hate it, they know it's board culture and have given up trying to change it. This they can change