Alright /co/, let's play a game. I'm going to make a list of Ennisisms. Only two items of the following list are made up, try to guess which ones.
>a dude gets his nose swapped with his dick and tries to give himself a blowjob
>elderly midget fucks a giant sex doll made of rotting meat
>mission briefings by way of luridly detailed hatefucks
>dude gets shot in one shoulder and out the other one (by a FMJ round from an MP5)
>supervillain is stuck as a baby after a botched rejuvenation plot but he still hires prostitutes to fuck every night
>the great-great-great-great grandson of Jesus Christ is an inbred retard that throws his piss and shit at everyone
>Donald Trump is a minion of the antichrist
>superhero guy has a fetish for shoving hamsters up his ass
>Satan tries to trigger the end of the world but is defeated when a rabbit shits in his martini
>dude gets ass-raped by a dog after getting beaten up by the wheelchair-ridden athlete he tried to sexually assault
>a female superhero has tits so big she needs to take her top off every few minutes to apply icepacks or else she'll suffer from heat stroke
>fat guy goes around beating people up with a horse's penis
>Superman ripoff is so retarded that the first time he has sex (with a middle-aged alcoholic hooker no less) he crashes a plane (WITH NO SURVIVORS) mid-orgasm
>Green Lantern gets raped by a fat Mexican slob
>giant burly assassin gets killed on the job, is revived but with giant tits for some reason, he later asks to make them bigger
>dude gets raped in both ears by monkeys with AIDS
>the antichrist is a middle-class white male and the new Mary, Joseph and Jesus are a family of Mexican illegal migrants
>female mob boss that looks like a child is assassinated by hiding a bomb in her personal vibrator that is bigger than her arm
>James Bond pastiche kills all his sons and fucks all his daughters as part of a convoluted revenge scheme by one of his illegitimate children

>>149535771 (OP)
>the antichrist is a middle-class white male and the new Mary, Joseph and Jesus are a family of Mexican illegal migrants

I think that one is the plot of a Mark Millar comic.

>>149535809
Wait, so does that count as "made up" because that was an actual comic but not by Ennis?

>>149535771 (OP)
>Superman ripoff is so retarded that the first time he has sex (with a middle-aged alcoholic hooker no less) he crashes a plane (WITH NO SURVIVORS) mid-orgasm
Made up because Said Superman pastiche and the girl who was blowing him saved the plane, no deaths.

>>149535771 (OP)
>>>mission briefings by way of luridly detailed hatefucks
Butcher and whatshername from The Boys

>>elderly midget fucks a giant sex doll made of rotting meat
>>the great-great-great-great grandson of Jesus Christ is an inbred retard that throws his piss and shit at everyone
Both from Preacher

>>superhero guy has a fetish for shoving hamsters up his ass
From The Boys, what was his name, Blarney Cock or something?

>>Superman ripoff is so retarded that the first time he has sex (with a middle-aged alcoholic hooker no less) he crashes a plane (WITH NO SURVIVORS) mid-orgasm
The Pro

>>Green Lantern gets raped by a fat Mexican slob
implied through Kyle's dialogue in Hitman/JLA

>>giant burly assassin gets killed on the job, is revived but with giant tits for some reason, he later asks to make them bigger
The Russian from Marvel Knights Punisher

>>James Bond pastiche kills all his sons and fucks all his daughters as part of a convoluted revenge scheme by one of his illegitimate children
Jimmy's Bastards

>>149535771 (OP)

Remember when Ennis set out to write a romance comics and it ended up containing bestiality, gay rape, the KKK, and thinly veiled Herr Starr and Barracuda pastiches?

God bless ya, ya weird orange mick

>>149535942
>Remember when Ennis set out to write a romance comics and it ended up containing bestiality, gay rape, the KKK, and thinly veiled Herr Starr and Barracuda pastiches?
Wut

>>149535809
>>149535839
No such luck.

>>149535841
Not so much made up as I admittedly misremembered. Guess reading Ennis comics gave me brain damage.

>a female superhero has tits so big she needs to take her top off every few minutes to apply icepacks or else she'll suffer from heat stroke
It'll be this one. There's no way that drunken oaf Ennis could write something that pedestrian.

>>149536699
The ending is stolen from Mark Millar Unfunnies thou

>>149537614
It's completely different though.

>>149537572
Have you forgotten Love Sausage?

>>149535771 (OP)
>dude gets raped in both ears by monkeys with AIDS
I'll guess this and the trump one because I seem to recognize more or less everything else

>>149535809
>>149536699
>>149537614
Wait, so does that mean the comic is Ennis' parody of Millar comics?

>>149536095

Look it up

>>149539775
Not really, Millar's comic is just an edgefest with no real point to it except making Hannah Barbera character knockoffs do things like rape, take drugs, trade CP and cukolding. Ennis' comic is a miseryporn diatribe about how Republicans are Satan MegaHitler and how leftists and Democrats are well-intentioned but spineless and incompetent.

>another pennis thread

>>149540345
You can ignore it and go back to your coomthread #3249265026462910093.

>>149540466
But this thread is very comfy.

>>149538007
No isnt, the ending end being the antichrist or a guy performing like the devil won and make all the characters go to hell

Bein le cynic

>>149541370
Proofread your posts.

>>149539921
I generally like Ennis but this was awful

The romance in Preacher was horrendous. Cornier than anything he's ever criticized. Ironically when he tries to write male friendship it comes across as homogay

>>149542755
Both of those are great. You're just a faggot.

>a female superhero has tits so big she needs to take her top off every few minutes to apply icepacks or else she'll suffer from heat stroke
this is the only one i can't pinpoint which comics it's from so i'll say this

>>149535809
What comic is that

>>149543049
See: >>149537614

>>149535771 (OP)
>fat guy goes around beating people up with a horse's penis
That's from Crossed

>Modern comic books are either about brown lesbians fighting white men or superman-ripoffs and cartoon characters raping and killing each other
No wonder this medium is dead.

>>149543148
Eh the former more then the latter but both tropes are grating, there's the occasional good book though

>>149543222
Name one good current mainstream one

Ennis has astronomically high peaks, but the bulk of his work is outright trash.

>>149543653
The Power Fantasy

>>149535771 (OP)
I bet not two but half of those are made-up, OP just wanted to make yet another Ennis bashing thread.

>>149543148
I hate how true this is.

>>149537614
>Unfunnies
WTF is that shit?
Looks like one of the guys gets arrested for CP or something

>>149544808
I recognized the majority of them. So less than half of them are made up.

>>149544808
If you really were an Ennis fan you would've recognized a lot of them

>>149544936
Ennis has fans?

>>149545487
Of course. The only IRL comic book fans I've ever met were Ennis fans. They were cool, kind, and laid back.
Everyone else I've known that reads funny books has been a manga fan.

>>149544813
>WTF is that shit?
Mark Millar's worst work. No joke, of all the abjectly execrable trash he's penned over the years, THIS comic is the only one he memoryholed.

>>149539524
This one was in the Boys. no?

>a female superhero has tits so big she needs to take her top off every few minutes to apply icepacks or else she'll suffer from heat stroke
>supervillain is stuck as a baby after a botched rejuvenation plot but he still hires prostitutes to fuck every night

Bet on this two!

>>149544801
Looks hyper gay

>>149543148
American comics were never alive to begin with.

>>149544801
This is some of the most boring shit I've read in ages. It kind of illustrates how the industry is in trouble. This is at a level where any normal person has a chance of doing better.

>>149548546
stop being a fag

>>149535771 (OP)
>dude gets shot in one shoulder and out the other one (by a FMJ round from an MP5)
I'm going to guess this is fake, because the only comic artists I've seen who would care enough to make an MP5, let alone an FMJ round, clearly recognizable in a comic were French and Japanese. There's no way any of the chumps Ennis has to work with draw with enough attention to detail. Hell, the idea of overpenetration alone makes this suspect. Ennis might write a lot of gore, but he never struck me as knowing a lot about it. Certainly not enough to ever tell his artists to stop drawing human beings as exploding blood sausages. Also, it bears a resemblance to a police shooting I've heard about. Suspect was intentionally shot in the leg, but the bullet somehow bounced off the bone and traveled straight up on a merry tour of his body. And that was a hollow point.

>a female superhero has tits so big she needs to take her top off every few minutes to apply icepacks or else she'll suffer from heat stroke
Gonna guess this for the second one. This sort of thing was never Ennis' style. It simply isn't disgusting enough. And considering this is Ennis, it's actually way too smart for him. And /co/ probably would have never come up with Golden Girl if Ennis had done the joke before.

Anyway, I feel like Ennis' time is running out. He went full gung-ho into the "anything is possible" hyper-offensive territory back when progressives saw it as a way of thumbing their noses at the fuddy-duddy Christian right. But those are no longer the rules.

>>149549019
>I'm going to guess this is fake
A swing and a miss.

>>149535771 (OP)
Imma throw in everything and say they are all real

>>149549782
OP said two are fake. Though I'm steadily losing hope as this thread goes on.

>>149535771 (OP)
I recognize most of these, but I think these two:
>a female superhero has tits so big she needs to take her top off every few minutes to apply icepacks or else she'll suffer from heat stroke
>James Bond pastiche kills all his sons and fucks all his daughters as part of a convoluted revenge scheme by one of his illegitimate children
aren't by Ennis.

>>149549707
Those are shockingly recognizable Uzi's for comic art. Then again, if I had to name one SMG that literally anyone can give a recognizable drawing of, it would be the Uzi. And these are still missing their stocks for some reason. Anyway, I do find this hard to pin on Ennis, at least without seeing the next page. If that overpenetration doesn't show in the writing, this might just be the artist's fault.

>>149550098
Your optimism is adorable.

>>149550304
To my own credit, I specifically stated needing exactly the information you provided to get the full picture. And yeah, it gets a lot dumber this way. It's such a weird choice, too. I'd guess Ennis wrote himself into a corner and needed this guy to take a single shot that somehow completely took out both his arms. And of course there's the tactful character writing we so love Ennis for.

Anyway, from the fact that you didn't comment on my other guess, and the fact that another Anon also picked it, I'm assuming I was correct on that one.

>>149550503
Nope, >>149535881 called it with the latter. It's Jimmy's Bastards.

>>149550559
No, the big titty superhero.

>>149550591
My bad then.

>>149549019
>Gonna guess this for the second one. This sort of thing was never Ennis' style. It simply isn't disgusting enough. And considering this is Ennis, it's actually way too smart for him.
How would've he gone about it?

>>149535771 (OP)
>The ones I'm vaguely familiar with pop into mind
Ennis won there, I suppose. Cunt.

>>149546709
it sounded so much like something that would happen to Starr that I guessed it was made up for that purpose just because I couldn't remember it specifically, but you may be right

>>149535881
>Jimmy's Bastards
I don't understand how that plot point even works, how does someone get tricked into doing that?