>>149751078I have read the whole Bible.
Here's the Job
Satan: God, test the Job instead of calling him your good servant when he always had an easy life!
God: OK, just don't touch him, because you are my bitch and don't get to judge anyone only what I let you do.
Satan: I murdered Job's children but he doesn't damn you! I need to be able to make him suffer directly!
God: OK, just don't kill him.
Job's wife: Damn God because bad things happened!
Job: No
Job's "friends": Admit you have sinned Job, you idiot, and everything will be better.
Job: I haven't sinned, you assholes
Elihu: I am in this book for some reason
Job: Who cares. Anyway, what happened to me was unjust.
God: And what do you know about the state of my creation and my further plans for you to know what you are talking about?
Job: Right.
God: Since you are my good servant, your asshole friends need you praying for their sins to be forgiveness. You practically get authority to judge if they can be forgiven, which is more than I ever allowed that seething faggot Satan. Anyway, Job, get twice of everything you've lost and the same amount of kids you had.