Thread 150774917

The Princess Tiger Lily's hand in marriage is up for grabs, but only if you can sufficiently impress her father, the Tribal Chief. How do you proceed?

>>150774917 (OP)
I show him my big stick that shoots fire and juice that makes pain go away

drop my pants

>>150774917 (OP)
I use the magic rectangle that brings hours of amusement to distract him and run away with his daughter. He won't look up until the battery runs out, and we'll be miles away by then

>>150774917 (OP)
Breakdancing

>>150774917 (OP)
This is not water. This...is firewater.

>>150774917 (OP)
I ride a unicycle, while playing the saxophone, while balancing plates on a stick on my nose

>>150774917 (OP)
I begin my comedy routine that revolves around offensive stereotypes of pirates, mermaids, Lost Boys and other residents of Never Land, except the Indians obviously, I leave those out.

>>150774917 (OP)
There should be a prequel story about Tiger Lily. The fact there's just a tribe of humans in Neverland sounds like a whole story in itself.

>>150774917 (OP)
I puff and stretch out my body, to the point I turn into a human cocoon, then my body explodes. Then I shed my former body's remains to reveal a stronger form

>>150774917 (OP)
I demonstrate that I have the loudest voice in the world by roaring at the highest volume I physically can muster. I will have the wedding immediately and consummate it on the ground. In the event that I instead severely damage my vocal cords, I have pre-prepared a card requesting directions to the nearest hospital or medical facility on this island. If I also impressed the Chief while sustaining an injury, the wedding will be performed en route.

>>150774917 (OP)
I whistle "Pop Goes the Weasel", on key and with the appropriate pop via cunning cheek slap.

>>150774917 (OP)
Don't you have to be 18 to post here? If you are, this is a pedo thread

>>150774917 (OP)
I somersault and break my collarbone

>>150775077
It was still colonial times so it's ok.

>>150774917 (OP)
I introduce the tribe to gambling by opening up the first Neverland Casino!

introduce golf to the tribe

>>150774917 (OP)
Manifest Destiny.

>>150775027
Man that is impressive.

>>150775029
If you roast the fairies they might murder you.

>>150774917 (OP)
I pull out a fat bag of reefer

I call it....the wheel

>>150775038
The story is that Neverland is a magical place that collects “lost things,” and it’s a fanciful imaginary place of where those lost things go and a speculation of what they’re up to if they’re all chilling on an island together. Missing children are part of the lost things. The mermaids and fairies represent lost heathen folkloric ideas that people at the time of the book being written no longer believed in. The pirate ship was lost at sea. And the injuns are a “lost people,” a lost culture. Possibly because of genocide.

That, or if want to get more Doylist, you could speculate that Barrie was racist in such a way that he classed native americans as basically the same as fairies and ghists. Racial caricatures like the ones he wrote are kinda more like a fanciful genre trope in cheap adventure pulp than a representation of real life people.

>>150775250
Show us this The Wheel!

>>150775302
Damn brat. Needs Manifest destiny.

dance

>>150774917 (OP)
I wish irl injuns were sweet and cute like that, but they’re usually really trashy

>>150775293
That's a fascinating angle, but it would actually require Disney acknowledging the fact that the Piccaninnies are victims of genocide. Which they won't do because this is the company that seriously tried to 'both sides' this shit in Pocahontas.

>>150775302
I forgot how unsubtle Tiger Lily is about wanting Peter's dick.

>>150775302
my peace pipe is smoking

>>150775390
They've been a broken people for over 150 years, ever since the US Army and the Texas Rangers beat them once and for all. I'm not really surprised at how miserable they are.

>>150775302
>hear Tiger Lily’s dance is rotoscoped from a real native american dance
>wonder what tribe or tribes it’s from
>trace the rumor back to an article, but the article admits the filmed dancer’s name isn’t recorded anywhere and vaguely says their source on the info they give about the dance is from “a book,” but i can’t find them specifying which book exactly
>article doesn’t say what tribe the moon dance is from
Huh. I wonder if that rumor was always bullshit, or if my research skills just suck.

>>150775390
The pow wows and stuff i’ve been to seemed pretty decent. But then again, I wasn’t there to pick up chicks.

>>150775038
>>150775293
Or the redskins are there for the same reason the pirates are: Because kids like pirates and cowboys and indians so they just added them to lure in more audience to the play.

The one confusing thing is the cyclical pecking order of Neverland "factions", where Neverlands immortal beasts hunt the redskins, redskins hunt the pirates, pirates hunt Lost Boys and Lost Boys hunt the beasts. One would think the redskins would handle beasts just fine, they dress in leather and feathers after all. Meanwhile Captain Hook is best known for being hunted by a giant immortal crocodile.

>>150775562
Its not rotoscoped, Disney only used rotoscope for rigid solid objects like deer horns and cars and stuff. Disney filmed a bunch of live reference reels where they hired a bunch of theater actors to dress in the costumes and act out the scenes. Wendy's actress was the same one who did Alice role as well. Thats why those two characters have the same face.

>>150774917 (OP)
Slaughter his tribespeople, and raze his village to the ground.
Should be fairly impressive I think.

>>150774917 (OP)
Her feather means she killed and scalped a man.

>>150775038
it's a dreamworld comprised of the fantasies of little boys, none of it is real. the play is ambiguous about it but the movie beats you over the head with the fact Wendy was just having a dream.

>>150775302
A belated "WELL DONE" to chief animator Les Clark and his assistants.

>>150774917 (OP)
Is it bad that I am more interested in the challenge of impressing the chief than in marrying his daughter? I would sit with the tribe's wise man and learn from him. Then I would go out and hunt a large beast to feed the tribe with, or I would confront an evil spirit in the wilderness. Maybe fuck a wendigo.

>>150776042
Alice in Wonderland beats you over the head that it’s a dream. Peter Pan leaves it slightly more ambiguous when the dad sees and vaguely recognizes the flying pirate ship in the distance.

Tiger Lily’s not my type, but have any of you guys thought about asking the Chief what he wants directly? Yknow, instead of doing a bunch of crazy stunts?

>>150775390
You were just born too late to get the real, anon.

>>150774917 (OP)
I hook them up with some old computers that can run Doom.

>>150774917 (OP)
Noble savage myth

>>150775390
PLEASE GOD, GIVE ME A TRASHY INDIAN GF!

>>150777680
Just go to a reservation and pick up chicks like you would at a bar.

>>150777694
You assume much more is within my means than is

>>150777526
One of the guys who made Doom is Amerindian. John Romero.

nice

>>150775302
>>150776288
>"'That's a sexy little girl you got there, Les.' And that was the last thing Walt ever said to me, which is weird because I worked for him for another 13 years."

WHAT MAKES THE RED MAN RED?

>>150774917 (OP)
>The Princess Tiger Lily's hand in marriage is up for grabs, but only if you can sufficiently impress her father, the Tribal Chief.
I'm 100% sure that our Tribal Chief, the needle mover, the head of the table, the OTC wouldn't dare let this shit happen to his daughter. That's just fucking immoral.

>>150775959
He had it coming.

>>150774917 (OP)
Look at this!
*attempt to backflip and knock myself out*

>>150774917 (OP)
I bring you....video games

>>150774917 (OP)
I wait until she's old enough, and then start going on dates with her to see if we're actually compatible. Fuck forced marriages, I'm not here to be fucking miserable.

>>150775302
Shame she's gonna age horribly (have you seen the other women of her tribe?)

>>150774917 (OP)
>This many anons who want a childbride

>>150774917 (OP)
How do you impress Roman Reigns?

I drive

>>150781760
Offer him two years off work.

>>150774917 (OP)
>How do you proceed?
WHO WILL WRESTLE GUS?

>>150774917 (OP)
I make a deal to hand over the Lost Boys' lands to the tribe in exchange for his daughter's hand in marriage, with maximum hostility to any Boys remaining. And off I go with my immortal bride and those ungrateful Boys punished for their hubris.

>>150775390
I knew one that was really into archery. She flunked every subject in school but she could hit the stem of an apple from a hundred meters back

I have nothing to offer but my love.

>>150774994
>juice that makes pain go away
You mean alcohol? Pretty sure the indians had that already. It's one of the easiest things to invent.

>>150774917 (OP)
My comedy breakdancing routine is sure to amaze and enthrall

>>150774917 (OP)
I proceed to eat out her unshaved cunny trying to impress her father and warm her to myself all at the same time...it may work.

>>150774917 (OP)
I recite pi to 200 places.

>>150774917 (OP)
i trade them a vape and modern medicine whilst benching 310 with the largest boner ive ever had

>>150775390
I dated a native chick once. Even met her father. A good man. We talked about history. My roots go back to ancient Mesoamerica along with parts of ancient Gaul, and theirs descend from the Witchita. A nice man, all things considered. They didn't live in a reservation but a lot had made a little home in the southern part of the neighborhood. Id wager about ten or twelve native families on one street.
It was nice, for a time.

>>150775077
This is a pedo thread on a pedo board on a pedo site

Back in the old days you could go to your local Indian tribe and buy a child wife that they raided from a different tribe. Sacajawea’s husband would buy an Indian girl to be his wife and after a few years when she started getting older he’d buy another one.

>>150774917 (OP)
I broker an alliance between him and the pirates to finally rid neverland of that horrid fiend peter pan and free the lost boys as worthy braves for the tribe

>>150774917 (OP)
I inspire him with tales of empire building and convince him we can join forces to conquer this Never Never Land and rule forever

>>150784030
Some did, some didn't. Yet they mostly had weaker alcohols akin to what you would have seen in B.C. What the Europeans really introduced to them was distilled spirits and liquors.
This is actually where the whole "the settlers got the natives drunk while making deals" thing came from. The natives had no fucking idea how powerful distilled spirits and liquors were and it reeked absolute havoc throughout indigenous communities in the early years of colonial America. It basically turned to an "Oh shit!" situation where chiefs had to start working with the settlers to limit the amount of liquors used as the settlers slowly realized that never having had distilled spirits meant that native communities had never developed the kinds of rules around or tolerance for spirits may have brought, which evolved into the "Native American alcoholic" stereotype.

>>150775214
>might kill
They're fucking fairies. He'd be lucky if they don't also humiliate him.

>>150786331
The early interactions between Natives and colonists is fascinating stuff

>>150774917 (OP)
I could show him how to lift heavy objects through leverage.

>>150774917 (OP)
I call it...football.

the hottest chick in our school was tiger lily for our play of peter pan, we got to tie her up so much it was sweet.

>>150787963
oh

dance

>>150774917 (OP)
I pass off famous songs as my own work, assuming they'll be none the wiser.

>>150774917 (OP)
I show him today's Wordle