>be me
>115kg overweight, obese basically
>do 10 push ups
>feel light headed
>sit down on couch
>puke
>lay down
>faint
How to fuck am I supposed to lose weight if this is what working out does to me?

>>76273906 (OP)
Have you considered trying to lose weight through dietary means rather than push-ups?

>>76273906 (OP)
You should start with fork putdowns before pushups.
In all seriousness though, especially for calisthenics stuff don't forget that there are progressions to these exercises that start before the basic lift. So, incline pushups (even wall pushups) are pre-regular pushups which themselves are pre-archer or whatever pushups.
A pushup is probably very by are for you so ease into it with light exercise that won't break you but with a very strong emphasis on weight loss.

you got fat by eating too much - stop eating so much. retard

>>76274070
that is a lie i eat verry little i just have bad metabolism

swedish anon, you have already been told to reduce the caloric intake you fat fuck

>>76274074
I love doing this type of logic fuckery into Google AI
> Calories in, calories out are all that matter
> AI spits out cope about how that's not true
> Ask it what happens if I have a metabolic disorder where my TDEE is 1000 calories and I eat 500 calories
> AI spits out, you'll lose weight
> Tell AI therefore CICO is all that matters
> AI copes some more
They've fixed it now but admitting it's true but nOt ThAt SiMpLe.
If you have a bonafide metabolism problem get your thyroid checked out you fat fuck.

>>76274095
ai is right do you have a TDEE meter that is 100% accurate ? no so CICO is a scam

>>76273906 (OP)
i have a massive cock so its basically impossible for me to get to a healthy weight. this is why bmi and calorie counters are bs beccause they are for average people with missing 2 pounds in the form of their penis

>>76274251
your caloric balance for a given day is guaranteed to be negative if you eat nothing, if you think otherwise call CERN because you must have discovered the secret to perpetual motion

>>76274416
you're just simplifying cico to an incredibly stupid extent
everyone knows that if you eat nothing you'll lose weight
everyone knows that eat less and burn more causes you to lose weight

but most people don't associate cico with that unlike you, the main point of cico for them is the CALORIE portion, which they find doesn't represent reality because nobody actually knows how much they burn in a day

>>76274428
>which they find doesn't represent reality because nobody actually knows how much they burn in a day
it's not hard to eat X amount of calories for 2 weeks and see if your weight goes up, down or stagnates
and TDEE calculators give you a pretty good baseline estimate to start off of

>>76274449
it is actually hard though, you're just downplaying it
it's a pain in the ass which is why fad diets who promise people that they don't have to track their shit meticulously are so popular

>>76273906 (OP)
>>do 10 push ups
start doing 1 per day, or take a calm stroll, also put the food down

>>76274464
>it is actually hard though
no, not overeating is the hard part
and we're back to CICO with that one

>>76274416
yes but then after restricting so hard your set point goes up because your body thinks there's a famine. so you just gain all the weight back and then some. personally I used to think this was BS but I see it happen to me when I tried extended fasts for a while. basically everyone who says "stop eating" is a lanket retard with lanklet logic, they even go so far as to say "its easier to not eat than it is to eat" which tells me a lot about them, like they've never done an addictive drug in thier life.

>>76273906 (OP)
literally 0 people loose weight long term with only exercise

>>76273906 (OP)
You can't exercise your way into a caloric deficit. If CI < CO (TDEE) you will lose weight.

>>76273912
>bait
you underestimate the coping stupidity of fatties

>>76274251
>do you have a TDEE meter that is 100% accurate?
first of all, perfection is the enemy of progress. 90%+ accurate is good enough.
1. use Mosteller formula
https://www.medcentral.com/calculators/body-metabolism/body-surface-area-bsa-mosteller-square-root-method
2. use stefan-boltzmann law to calculate your basal metabolic rate
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-body_radiation#Human-body_emission
use the area from mosteller formula, and appropriate temperature and environmental temperature. this is the energy your body loses to heat.
3. identify your activity levels throughout the day, including sleeping. express all as metabolic equivalents (METS). for example, 8 hours sleeping, 14 hours sitting/watching TV, 2 hours walking (like to fridge, bathroom, etc.) use the compendium of physical activity to find how many METS each activity is.
4. take a weighted average of all the energy you burn as a function of your basal metabolic rate. VOILA! you now know your TDEE.
5. download calorie tracker. enter everything you eat in a day.
6. if consumption > TDEE you calculated, eat less.

>>76274428
>nobody actually knows how much they burn in a day
speak for yourself. i know, but that's because i'm not a blithering bastard bonehead like you gelatinous jerry rigged-brain faggots. see:
>>76275140

>>76273906 (OP)
lots of walking, bit ever day. if youre waaaaaay obese start with standing desk few hours w shoes on. i wonder what you ate before that workout also was it high protein and quality? need fuel to drive. do 5 pushups or 10 knee pushups only every other day a whole week, like 5 squats when possible. always stretch before doing all this too and never overdo it too much, or youll fuck up progress. overdoing meaning dropping 20 squats cause you can the first time and feeling brutal next day. just overdo it slightly when you bump from 5 to 10 or even 5 to 7 then 7 to 9. literally whatever you gotta do to just safely keep stepping things up from the ground floor foundations. and if you simply manage your food intake you would start losing lots of weight without even having to do anything at all, literally sitting at desk youll lose weight.

>>76275140
made up nonsense calculators
they could be off by 10% or off by 20%, in one direction or the other, and you wouldnt be any wiser

>>76273906 (OP)
Back off to five push-ups

>>76273906 (OP)
Do nothing (includes not putting food in mouth).)

>>76274523
fat fuck .... I've smoked weed for years and stopped when I got a good job.And the same way I'm skipping some meals early in the summer.
You juste have ZERO willpower

>>76273906 (OP)
Do 5x20 wall pushups (pushups, standing up and pushing away from a wall, google it if you don’t know what I mean)

When you can comfortably do that start working toward 5x20 knee pushups

When you can comfortably do that, start doing full pushups and dropping to your knees when you any do any more (5x20 again)

It’ll take a while but you’ll eventually be able to do 100 pushups. Completely safe and foolproof (as long as doctors say you’re safe to exercise) and you’ll gradually start losing most of the weight as well just by doing this.

Make sure you can comfortably do 5 sets of 20 reps of each type of push up before you move onto the more advanced ones. And actually do it bro it’ll change your life.

Ignore retards saying your problem is diet. You could probably improve it but one of the main reasons I exercise is so I can eat what I want