>in mid 30s
>ugly beta male
>never been on date, had a gf, or had any woman show any interest in me
>was an ugly loser without friends all through adult life, including university and all my jobs
What a humiliation ritual. It kind of hit me again in the past day how totally discarded I have been by everyone in society, in every way after the age of 18. Going into university was hellish for me as an ugly beta male. I still remember the first week of university where there was almost a party environment on campus and I didn't talk to anyone.
Another thing that's hitting me lately is my previous job, which required me to go in the office for most of the week. I'd sit in this open plan area with people in their 20s and 30s who socialised a lot and I always felt so fucking awkward being there and being the outcast. I ended up always going to the random desks at the side of the building to work. I could never go to the after work social events and it had a stack ranking performance system.
Another horrendous memory that came up: having pair dancing lessons in PE in school at the age of 13 or 14 and being humiliated for weeks because all the girls were so disgusted to be near me.
I'm also really resenting having had to come into contact with the bottom 80% of the population. I'm not a genius but I have to be really fucking honest.
I mean desu if this is how you are irl - negative self loathing - I wouldn't even want to be your friend. I'm a 1/10 in looks but at least I'm not this spiteful. also what does this have to do with /fit/
>>76290829 (OP)Watch One Piece and it will entirely cure you and propel you to a good and happy place in your life
Thank you for sharing all this—it's heavy, raw, and brutally honest. And that's something. You’re not sugarcoating the pain, and that’s a kind of strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
What you’ve written expresses a profound sense of alienation, loneliness, and rejection—emotions that can calcify over time into something that feels like truth: that you are inherently unworthy. But that belief, no matter how deeply rooted, is not an objective reality. It’s a narrative built from painful experiences, yes—but it’s also a prison your mind builds to make sense of chronic social pain.
A few things to hold onto and maybe challenge:
1. "I've been discarded by society."
It feels true. But society isn't one thing—it’s made up of individuals, and often a narrow subset of those is responsible for the most pain. Social exclusion, especially in adolescence and early adulthood, leaves scars. What happened to you—being left out, made to feel disgusting—is not your fault. It’s a combination of cultural shallowness, bad luck, and social dynamics that often reward superficiality.
But that doesn’t mean you are fundamentally unwanted. It means you were dealt a shit hand socially—and you’re still carrying that pain.
2. "Ugly beta male" and self-loathing language
You've absorbed some toxic worldviews that categorize people in rigid hierarchies—"alpha," "beta," etc. This is pop-psych nonsense. Yes, physical appearance affects social experience. But people—real people—are far more complex than these memes.
The language you use to describe yourself is not helping. It's reinforcing the belief that you're some static loser archetype. You're a living, adapting human. Still here. Still thinking. Still fighting in your way.
3. Your intelligence and frustration with others
When you say you're tired of being around the "bottom 80%"—that’s not just arrogance. I read that as pain mixed with frustration. It might be a defense mechanism: if I feel rejected by them, maybe they’re not worth being accepted by anyway.
But it’s also possible you're just wired a bit differently—maybe more introspective, more observant, or more critical. That doesn’t mean better or worse—but it can make it harder to find people you click with. Still, they are out there.
4. Loneliness and avoidance
Avoiding people becomes a strategy. You don't go to the events, you sit at the side desks, you disappear from group dynamics—not because you're weak, but because rejection has been so painful you anticipate it before it happens. That’s a form of self-protection. The problem is, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So what now?
You're in your 30s. You think you're locked out of life. But you’re not. You’re in the part of the movie where the main character has been ground down, disillusioned, disconnected—and now he has to decide: do I rot in this narrative… or do I write a new one, piece by piece, one awkward, slow, human interaction at a time?
That sounds like a cheesy speech. But it’s also real.
You’re not going to flip a switch and stop feeling pain. You’re not going to wake up next week and love yourself. But you can start small.
Find spaces that welcome introspection: online forums (not the bitter ones), book groups, therapy (seriously), classes for adults.
Speak to one person about this in real life if you can. A therapist is ideal, because they won’t flinch from your pain.
Look at how much of your life is ruled by shame—and ask whether every bit of that shame is truly deserved.
You are not broken. You are hurt. And healing is not an insult to your experience—it’s what redeems it.
32f
md5: c95962911ffff4b222e651236650a1ca
🔍
>>76290829 (OP)Lol your "humiliation ritual" is just the average male experience for 75% of all men throughout all of history. You were born and bred to be a loser. Someone like me suffered true humiliation because I was meant to be somebody, I was a teen prodigy with stacies throwing themselves at me, and fucked it all up because me broken brain is schizoid. Its obviously genetic but I guess in my dads time you could get away more with that stuff than now
>>76290829 (OP)>get money>gire a qt whore>realize that women submit for power and moneyWeak fag
Not gonna lie, you are kinda bumming me out bud
>>76290829 (OP)You can go to south east Asia and find a girl.
>>76290829 (OP)>pair dancing lessons in PE in school at the age of 13 or 14 and being humiliated for weeks because all the girls were so disgusted to be near me.what kind of school was this?
also how does 99% of all high schools always do everything except physical exercise in PE class
I just wanted to run and lift weights, why they have playing old people sports like badminton or popularity-based sports like basketball where it's always the same handful of people tossing each other the ball
this same thread is on /biz/
>>76290829 (OP)Buy a gun and go kill anyone that wronged you
>>76290829 (OP)Literally exactly like me except I'm handsome but I squandered it by never leaving my room in my prime
>>76290829 (OP)Looks are 10% after college. Of course it changes how your life feels, how people treat you at face value, etc. What you do and what you know will comprise almost all of your actual time on Earth, and people who need you for what you are will always be more fulfilling to be around than people who just kinda feel good (for now) when they look at you. You’re a man, that’s your role. Get a skill and get a personality from that.
Take a shower, get a haircut, go to TJ Max and get some clothes that don’t have anime characters or beer logos on them. Go to a coffee shop and sit there without projecting hate rays at yourself and everyone else, practice that for awhile, things will get better.
You’re a good boy, you’re going to be alright.
>>76290829 (OP)>/fit/ - Fitness
>>76290829 (OP)>I'm also really resenting having had to come into contact with the bottom 80% of the populationBro you are IN the bottom 80%. Sounds like the bottom 10% at that. Also this post belongs in /r9k/.
>>76291347same bro how old are you. Are you on ssi? also you can still slay poon if you want.
>>76290829 (OP)Anon, what you’re describing is the average experience for the majority of men. It’s so easy to think that you’re exceptionally fucked, or in such a terrible position, when in reality, you’re just the same as the rest of us, average, depressed, with nothing special going for you and limited insight as to how to escape that cycle. It fucking sucks. I can assure you though, whatever mental complex you’ve made for yourself regarding your looks or image aren’t real, and are entirely fabricated. Yeah, there will be men better looking than you, that’s the reality of life.
I’ve been through it, I can say however thankfully, there’s another side to it. There is an escape. Take it from me, I can wholly assure you. Yeah, it takes work and takes a lot to get out of your short term comfort (but long term depression). You need to act fast though. Time is running out. Don’t waste it. I believe in you anon.
>>76295044Not OP, but thank you my friend. It genuinely helped reading this. All the best to you
why is there a thread like this on every single board
>>76295179Because this site is full of spergs
>>76293651Op.. do this...
Haha yeah man me too, I'm like mega blackpilled as they say!
>>76295179>why is there a thread like this on every social media platform
>>76295179The male loneliness epidemic is bad
>>76295179Because if you're autistic or slightly off or anything else from the norm, nobody in real life will sympathize with or understand you, and that's the best case scenario. This is the only place you can go to talk with people similar to you.
Yeah. Whenever i look at normies around me, i am amazed at how lucky they all are. Life just happens to them, they just drift along and end up in relationships, with friends etc. Most don't even have hobbies or interests apart from watching the newest trendy netflix show, yet somehow they have a group of people not related to them that always want to hang out with them, and a woman who lives with them/has children with them. Meanwhile any basic thing i want, like a friend, or a girlfriend, i spend immense effort on, still fall flat on my face, and then look to my right and see a fat balding neckbeard guy with a cute girlfriend. Feels like i am predestined to be a loser. Things just perfectly fall into place every time so that nothing interesting or good happens to me.
Example: i have been living in a student dorm at uni for 4 years. You'd think i'd meet someone from my college here at least once, right? Wrong. And i've asked around. Aparently i am the only one of 200 people that lives in a student dorm, everyone else has an apartment. Meanwhile, at one of my hobbies, a symphonic choir, i met a new guy, just started uni, DYEL, short, total sperg with basically zero social skills, i came up to him and got him to socialise with the other members because he was sitting by himself staring at his phone during every break. 2 months later he had a girlfriend. How? Well by chance the girl sitting a row behind him in one of his classes had an apartment right next door to his. So she started visiting his appartment (yes, SHE approached HIM), had to pester him every day before he even started talking since he is a sperg, asked him out, now cooks him lunch and dinner and shit.
That's just a random example but it gets me thinking - some people really get everything handed to them.
>>76290829 (OP)You aren't peatpilled bro
Peat will save your life
Peat
>>76295976>That's just a random example but it gets me thinking - some people really get everything handed to them.Yep, we have to create our own exposure through brute force, even though it likely goes against our nature.
Learn to do that now before you reach your late 20s.
whether this is just a copypasta troll post or whatever, this is unironically my life. 33 never been on a date and pretty much friendless through schooling, college, and job-wise as well. just a few acuqiantances thats pretty much it.
sometimes i honestly just laugh when i think about how utterly useless and pathetic my life has been, like i dont think normal people or hell even people on 4chan could believe how sad its been. and yes, i have basically expected everything to just happen for me without doing any ambition on my own to make it happen. of course i was always going to fail. i just spent two beautiful weekend days sitting in my room doing nothing. literally nothing. two full days. not even watching tv shows, or movies, or video games, or practicing any skills or doing anything to develop my life. i just sat in a room, pissing away my day on the internet, and lamenting about how alone i am and how i just waste my life.
