Mire thread.
>live next door to an elementary school
>not a pedo they built it after I moved in
>every day the little brats wake me up with their shouting and playing and yelling during morning recess
>one tard kid in particular
>always screaming at the top of his lungs just because he can
>finally rage out
>hop the school fence
>beat the shit out of this gay little kid
>arrested, 7 years in jail
>get out last week
>mom picks me up from prison in her car
>"Wow, you got so big in jail, Anon"

The goal isn't to be mired, it is to become so freaky that you can get away with anything. I have gone full bearmode and have been experimenting at work. I have gotten away with the following:
>telling people the reasons for what I tell them to do is that I am God
>denying the Holocaust
>taking other people's coffee
>authorizing vacation time for people who don't report to me
>wearing a Meredith Grey shirt to important meetings
>stopped wearing deoderant
>setting up calendars in the office with pictures of cute kittens
>skipping meetings and telling my supervisor I couldn't attend because I was taking a shower
>starting setting my own hours
>started demanding people who are more important explain what they do before I discuss anything with them
>publicly accepting gratuities that are basically bribes
>stopped responding to emails from people who don't say nice things about the pictures I send them of my cat
>fired someone who is above me (they came back when they realized I can't do that but quit shortly after)
>play eurobeat out loud at my desk when I need to focus
I have a senior engineering position and got a raise recently

>>76299621
>I have a senior engineering position
I didn't know the based department employed engineers, keep it up king

>>76299621
>no one:
>engineers: HEY EVERYONE I'M AN ENGINEER ALSO I MAKE A LOT OF MONEY SEE THE RAISE I GOT, IM A SENIOR ENGINEER AND MAKE SO MUCH MONEY. DID I MENTION THAT I'M AN ENGINEER?

>>76299621
>>play eurobeat out loud at my desk when I need to focus
>I have a senior engineering position and got a raise recently
Lmao at europoors, so your salary went from 30k usdollars to 31k us dollars?

>>76299588 (OP)
>Checked out my own butthole lifting my legs above my head and a mirror
>damn im pretty tight
>Yup. Could only stick a knuckle in it
>Id fuck me

>>76299588 (OP)
>filipina at my work
>hey anon do you want kids
>say yeah
>omg they'd be so cute they'd be all blond and blue eyed just like you
>omg what if he comes out looking all ripped too that'd be so funny
>next day I see her
>anon omg I hope you have a daughter
>ask her why
>because it'd be so funny you're so mucular holding a little baby girl
>literally dont know what the fuck to say just say yeah
I'm too autistic for this shit

>>76299769
>omg they'd be so cute they'd be all blond and blue eyed just like you
you should have said
>haha no they wouldnt, your black hair and brown eye genes are dominant, so when you have my kid they would look much more like you

I'm the recluse to Chad anon who just spent 22 years wasting away in his home from the age of 17 and I'm 39 now. I thought I was hideously ugly, weak, and pathetic, and so I literally only left my house a couple of times per year when absolutely necessary for medical appointments over a span of 2+ decades. Even worse, my self-esteem issues were so severe that I rarely ever interacted with people online too. And so I spent all of my adult adult life in near total isolation. I finally couldn't take it anymore about 3 months ago, and so I've been trying to get better. I took baby steps like going for jogs around my neighborhood and saying hi to my neighbors. It was nerve-wracking at first, but I got somewhat used to interacting with people again pretty quickly. But even talking and walking normally is still hard for me because I rarely ever talked, and being inside my house for so long affected my gait and the muscle structure and tendons in my lower body. I also tried to interact with people more, and I started online, specifically the hikikmori subreddit (Japanese phenomenon of people staying inside their homes all day for years), because I still wasn't ready to socialize with normal people in real life beyond saying hello as I jogged past them. Through that subreddit, women started to slide into my DMs and pretended to be hikikmoris in order form relationships with me.

>>76300095
One of them became my online and long distance girlfriend. She told me she lived with her dad, only to later admit to me that she's into extreme forms of BDSM, and that her "dad" is actually her current dungeon master (not a joke). She broke up with me due to all of my severe mental health issues - which caused me to become suicidally depressed. I ended up going to my local hospital because I probably wasn't going to make it through the night. They put me in a psych ward. That sounds scary, but it actually ended up being a great experience. Almost all of the women in there were into me - which shocked me because I just spent 22 years thinking that no woman on the planet would ever find me attractive. I got most of their numbers. Two of them even wanted me to move in with them when I got out. I ended up following the woman I liked the most, a 25-year-old former gymnast and gifted student with bipolar, to a residency program when I got out. A residency program is basically a really nice residential home where you share the house with a dozen other people who struggle with various mental health issues + staff. Your days are very structured and you go to group therapy sessions together. I asked a guy who works for the program how much it would cost to stay there for the typical 35-45 days before insurance, and he said $107,500. To my shock, as soon as I arrived the 4 female residents in the home met me and helped me to carry my luggage into my room. They even helped me to unpack my staff, made my bed, and were instantly acting flirty with me by brushing up against me and staring into my eyes while grinning. The most aggressive one was a 20-year-old Latina who's my current girlfriend. But a 40-year-old mom of 3 and school teacher also aggressively pursued me. But we had to be secret about everything because romantic relationships are strictly forbidden. And so I was sneaking around with 3 different chicks at the same time.

>>76300099
I finally lost my virginity in a bathroom with the 20-year-old like 3 weeks ago. And then the 40-year-old mom of 3 and school teacher made her move and got me to have sex with her too. Meanwhile, the girl I originally followed here from the hospital was getting pissed and basically started to act cold and bitchy around me out of jealousy. And so for a few days 3 girls were basically fighting over me. But eventually they agreed to share me and not get jealous of each other in order to decrease tension and drama in the house. It was amazing. I was making out with one chick before groups, fingering the other after groups, getting a random blow job from another before lunch, fucking whichever wanted to bang at the moment after lunch, making out with another chick before the next group therapy session, et cetera. But eventually the staff had had enough and decided to force me to relocate to another house in the residency program - which was just down the street. But the same thing ended up happening. There were only 2 female residents in this new house - and both of them wanted me as well. I ended up getting caught fucking a 22-year-old blonde rich chick from Delaware, and so they gave me the boot. They called an Uber for me and gave me less than 30 minutes to pack. But before getting kicked out, I made out and felt up that blonde chick one last time as a final fuck you to the staff. And so imagine spending 22 years in your house because you thought you'd never get laid, only to get swarmed by chicks as soon as you left your house and started to interact with people again. I am so mind fucked right now. It's a bizarre combination of thinking it's funny, hating myself, and being proud of my unknown Chad status. I credit my consistent weight lifting during those 22 years for helping me to get laid. Staying in shape made an otherwise absolute freak like me still attractive to women.

>>76300102
I believe this

>>76300112
i wouldn’t believe a mentally ill 40 year old virgin that posts on 4chan

>>76299824
This autism is funny

>>76300124
Then you can go back to r/fitness

> walking home from the gym
> Some guy walks beside me and goes "big guy big guy"
I'm a big guy guys

>>76300472
big guy big guy

why is it that every post here or any "mire" thread is always
>Bro compliments
>Woman looking in their general direction for a split second while crossing the road
>Long schizo headcanon about having a fivesome because some teenager girls saw him hitting a pr

>>76300525
just men being men. the question is why do so many have a strong need to feel desirable that they’d delude themselves into believing it if they have to

>hiking with my gf
>it is hot, over 30 degrees even in the thick forest
>we come accross a waterfall with picnic tables and benches next to it
>there is already a group of two families so no room for me and gf
>no problem, we take a short rest on the ground
>my gf takes of her shoes and takes a walk in the water
>I figure why not, just keep the shorts on and stand under the waterfall
>it's cold but really refreshing
>all eyes on me
>gf doesn't dare to do the same
>I tell her to give me her bucket hat, fill it with the cold waterfall water and put it over her head
>children of the two families burst out laughing
>milf and her little daughter come up to me and the little one hands me her bucket hat
>small girl gets soaked too, a brief shock by the cold water, followed immediately by resounding laughter
>I catch the milf checking me out before she thanked me with a big smile
>in the end, the men also went under the waterfall and took some of the kids with them

>>76300824
What a mire. You should’ve fucked the little daughter lol

>>76299588 (OP)
went to go see a steam train come through me local station with my dad and there was this one chick who would just stare for like for like 3 or 4 seconds at a time. train was cool

>>76299707
Nigger, where do you think you are? We are all engineers in here

we be balling i hit the muscles at the gym hustling money makes problems easier and harder strange chick fuck deranged china dick i got my muscles i got my money i got hot girls mirin and fucking

>>76300852
I'm a muscular drug dealer!!!!!!!!!!

>>76300525
I'm the second one.
Gym receptionists I see everyday asked me how I'm doing.

>>76299588 (OP)

>move table for grandma
>you're so strong anon
Heh, doing it all for you gramgram

>>76301051
so that’s what they meant back then when they said they were doing it for the gram

>>76300124
But then you wouldn't be able trust anyone on 4chan?

>>76301224
exactly. everyone online is full of shit. believe half of what you see and none of what you hear

>>76301020
>Domale's inside look at his lide of formim sun thant the om cuirayer

>>76300961
I bet she's soaking wet for you every time you reply "im doing good, how are you ?"

>>76300525
>cute cashier at the local store
>always has a neutral expression when interacting with me
>start getting /fit/ the last few months
>still not in good shape but getting better
>cashier girl starts smiling more with me
>think it's just her putting on a friendly face for her job
>weeks later, I'm wearing a Metallica t-shirt
>she points it out, saying she just started listening to them via Stranger Things
>big smile the entire conversation, lots of eye contact
>now's when I start thinking she might like me
>post on /fit/ asking what they think
>try to think of other occasions
>I can't
>try to describe the girl
>I can't
>wake up
>realise it was all a dream
>there is no cute girl at the local store
>I use self-checkout most of the time anyway

>>76300095
>>76300099
>>76300102
I read that story on wizardchan a few months ago. Based if true. Don't ever go to that website again.

>>76299621
Fpbp

>>76300102
It's your face that helped you land those chicks anon. The weightlifting helped sure, but you always had that Chad face. You're luckier than 99% of humans. You'll have a much easier time securing your neet life for the future than any of us here.

>>76301296

>>76301527
i call bullshit. a 39 year old wizard that considered themselves ugly never bothered to take care of their appearance and they wouldn’t know what to do if a girl magically became interested in them because of their inexperience

someone post the bathroom stall mire with the girl

>>76301609
its possible. you just have yo fake it with 5he first girl and once you get into a positive feedback loop you just get more and more successful

>>76301639
sure but he said he never left the house. how did he find time to hit the gym. why did it take being sent to psych ward to find out women, granted they were mentally ill, to find him attractive. a 40 you’re post wall and former shell of yourself. this should’ve been apparent in your younger years

>>76301237
I don't think so, last time I was caught off guard, froze and panicked, said that quickly, then fumbled scanning my badge, bumped in the turnstile, uttered "help", and ran away.

>>76301988
Are you security guard on the train? If you want to make a filipina wet just say you’re good at karaoke

>>76299588 (OP)
>say hello to a latina in public
>she smiles back and plays with her hair

>>76299588 (OP)
Gay post but the girl is so hot

>>76299621
>authorizing vacation time for people who don't report to me

>>76299769
you know that flilip chick told her parents and all her friends about you lol. go start a family with her anon.

>watch american psycho
>decide from now on that I'll be patrick bateman
>get invited to party
>show up looking jacked
>girl approaches me
>we vibe
>she asks me "what you do for living?"
>I reply "Well, I'm into murders and executions, mostly"
>The light in her eyes die
>Says she'll go for a drink
>Never see her again

>>76299769
>thanks, you too

>>76299588 (OP)
Rivka mired me

>Was very sick 2 years ago and didn't eat much or exercise for about a year
>Normally 180lb, went down to 160
>Since getting healthy I worked out and ate myself back up to 180, then 190
>Recently saw some frens I hadn't seen since I was sick (I moved around then too)
>Everyone remarked on how healthy and muscular I look now
>BJJ homie says "Good think you left our gym, no way I could take you now"
>Someone says "You look like Anon ate Anon"
>QT friend of a friend says I look s much healthier, and later that night when drunk asks for my number
It feels good to be healthy again brehs, never take your gains for granted

Every girl I've ever had sex with feels up my triceps during missionary

>>76299731
Not everything must cost 2/3 of your salary, mutt

>>76300830

>>76302289
Too retarded to be false, good job anon

>>76300830
Nigga

>>76301296
Same buddy, same...

>>76303182
no one asks what you do for a living at a party

>>76302709
So just one girl

>>76299769
Should have asked if she wants to give you one