Anonymous
6/29/2025, 4:10:49 AM No.76315999
I eat like a third of an entire watermelon every day. My shits have started to look like watermelon. I am so dependent on watermelon that I have watermelon redundancy. At any given time there are 2 watermelons in the fridge cold and ready, in case I open one and it's bad. I live with my mommy and if she cuts the watermelon wrong I get very angry. Sometimes she really brutalizes the watermelon and it fucks up my whole watermelon experience, so I've started buying 3 watermelons now. 2 for redundancy, and an extra one for her so she won't fuck up my good one. She then tells me I'm wasting food, but I tell her that it's the cost of doing business.
In terms of picking watermelon I've become quite the watermelon whisperer. I went to the watermelon bucket at the walmart and observed all the negros and how they pick their watermelon. Like the Lisan Al Gaib, I learned their ways as if I was born to them. The exterior should be a deep green, with multiple shades of green covering the full spectrum of light required to produce a complex, rich flavor. The sound after a knock must be "hollow", or resonate nicely, indicating the internal structure is tight and crisp, and not mushy that it would absorb the sound waves instead of reflecting them back. A deep creamy yellow spot is preferred on the bottom, it doesn't need to be too big but it must be there, that the watermelon was well supported in its growth. It must be high density and feel heavy, or there are air pockets and cracks on the interior that compromise the structure. There are also correlations with the stem which I am continuing to investigate, but the elders teach this bears on the size of the "grain" of the interior structure, where a dry and slightly withered stem is preferred to a wet and youthful stem. If we consider that the watermelon is made up of many interlocking pockets of juice, the "grain" is the size of these pockets. Smaller grain is certainly preferred, but a large grain may still be enjoyed.
In terms of picking watermelon I've become quite the watermelon whisperer. I went to the watermelon bucket at the walmart and observed all the negros and how they pick their watermelon. Like the Lisan Al Gaib, I learned their ways as if I was born to them. The exterior should be a deep green, with multiple shades of green covering the full spectrum of light required to produce a complex, rich flavor. The sound after a knock must be "hollow", or resonate nicely, indicating the internal structure is tight and crisp, and not mushy that it would absorb the sound waves instead of reflecting them back. A deep creamy yellow spot is preferred on the bottom, it doesn't need to be too big but it must be there, that the watermelon was well supported in its growth. It must be high density and feel heavy, or there are air pockets and cracks on the interior that compromise the structure. There are also correlations with the stem which I am continuing to investigate, but the elders teach this bears on the size of the "grain" of the interior structure, where a dry and slightly withered stem is preferred to a wet and youthful stem. If we consider that the watermelon is made up of many interlocking pockets of juice, the "grain" is the size of these pockets. Smaller grain is certainly preferred, but a large grain may still be enjoyed.
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