Thread 106212844

How do you know you're not running backdoored bootloader or kernel if you're not using Secure Boot?
>uhhhh I don't know but it's more secure this way because Secure Boot is pozzed or something
Oh okay.

>>106212844 (OP)
the evil maid made your CPU
good luck

>>106212844 (OP)
secure boot is fundamental but evil-maid is an unsolved problem. you just put the trust elsewhere with Intel/AMD fused keys. something like the heads project with nail polish on screws is only way to protect against remote and evilmaid attacks

>>106212916
it would make the required attack much more sophisticated. think of tinfoil chat-like setup with seperate computers with one-way communcation guarded with diodes. you would have to get yourself actually targeted to be circumvented on a setup like that.

>>106212916
It levels up the required maid from skiddie with AI to NSA TAO level, they’re not gonna risk Indicators of Compromise getting known about their tooling by using them on neckbeards & nobodies

>>106212844 (OP)
all they have to do is type mokutil and add their key if they have time to molest your computer in person

I can't afford a maid so I don't have this problem.

I tamper with the evil maid.

>>106213830
What happens if you impregnate her?

>>106212916
unironically fpbp

>>106212844 (OP)
>Hmmm I wonder why I turned off secure boot, I can't remember...
>Guess I'll turn it back on.
>Turn it on.
>Hmm my bios is pretty outdated 1 year
>Sorry dave I can't let you update bios
>Disable it update bios
>Turn it back on
>Play some BF6 eh it's okay time to kill to fast
>Steam decides it wants to update some games
>They stop for some reason at 99% can't cancel it
>Shut off steam
>Process still running
>Go to Terminate Steam in W11
>Access Denied
>What the fuck do you mean ACCESS DENIED
>Too sleepy to do anything about, fuck it I'll just restart
>PC stuck on "restarting forever"
>Reset button won work
>Have to hold shutdown button
>Come back to Windows
>Too disapointed to do anything set the PC to sleep and go to sleep
>Next morning PC won't wake up from sleep just hangs there with monitors off but Keyboard and Mouse powered up

IF IT'S SO SECURE HOW COME MY PC WORKS LIKE FUCKING DOGSHIT AFTER TURNING IT ON?!

It's this some sort of pajeet prank Windows 11 is pulling on me what the fuck is happening how can it be THIS BROKEN?!

That's why Ubuntu developers are light years ahead of any other distro

They seem to be the ONLY FUCKING ONES that have figured out what the end user wants, when there is already a Windows 11 Installation on a PC with BitLocker and Secure Boot. UBUNTU just fucking "GETS IT!" and says okay no problem, we're going to keep your secure boot on, and work with it for dual booting

Go look at the fucking ARCH-TROONIX page and try to do the same thing

I fucking HATE archtroons

>>106212961
Your computer has a second CPU running right now, that you don't know what it is executing because its encrypted and it has access to your network if you're using the built in network adapter.

>>106214563
Most linux users don't actually use ubuntu.
Linux mint is basically ubuntu but good.

Because I recompile my kernel before each reboot

>>106214585
I use Mint actually, that's funny, I was just saying Ubuntu because Mint used their handiwork

>>106212916
can the cpu commumicate with her if the system is airgapped ie. I never connect it to any networks? (and remove all methods for it to do so?)

>>106214563
Secure Boot on Arch is pretty simple when not dual booting using sbctl. But yeah looks a bit more complex with Windows dual boot.

>>106212844 (OP)
can I have sex with the evil maid in exchange for the information?

>>106214594
Ubuntu use the retarded tablet shit UI and has actual advertising on it.

>>106214684
Asking the real questions.

>>106212844 (OP)
Why are evil maids like this?

>>106214496
Because you didn't just enable Secureboot, but also updated your bios - and the updated bios introduced bugs.
That actually happens regularly.

>>106212844 (OP)
Just literally never shutdown your computer

>>106216251
Ah yes bug that magically go away once secure boot is disabled