Thread 106960752

post em

This nigga has skidmarks in his underwear

>>106960756
>this nigga doesn't know how to wipe

>>106960777
Lucky sevens can't help you now, poopy butthole Anon.

>>106960752 (OP)
>.turn on bidet
> Water goes up my asshole
> Fills my colon
>Shoots pop water back out
> Spotless colon
It's gay and I'm doing it right as I write this but I don't care. I love it and shits are fast. Anything to get my asshole to finish when I want.

I want a bidet so much
I'm sick of the toilet paper jew

>>106960752 (OP)
lololololol I have a dedicated bidet on my bathroom and it's the best thing ever how can you even live without something like that, it's like not having a shower

>>106960837
what is that

>>106960876
I bet my ass smells less than yours does. I shudder to imagine how far and dirty you must be as a person to need a machine to clean your ass. Plus, idk where that water has been, I don’t want it up my ass.

So many faggots in this thread, holy shit. I do everything at the end of the week because I'm unemployed and have no savings. I wipe my ass once a week, flush the toilet once a week and shower once a week because I can't afford toilet paper or water, so I have to ration it.

>>106960752 (OP)
Is this AI-powered? If it's AI-powered then this is a must buy and every household must buy this revolutionary technology.

>>106960923
>Plus, idk where that water has been
The same place your tap water comes from?

>>106960752 (OP)
>bidet
If you're gonna get a wash your ass toilet, you need PoopCam
>$599 plus tip
>made by Kohler, the toilet people
>points down (sorry, no ass pics)
>subscription of $70-120
>fingerprint reader to tell users apart

>>106960906
>parts of africa has bidet
>but not China
Why is China so nasty

niggas really be comin in the thread sayin they bussy spotless

>>106960923
youre genuinely dummmbb

>>106960752 (OP)
>I have a dirty asshole and possibly worms
Weird flex.

>>106960777
>Get poop anywhere else on your body
>Thinks it's sufficient to just smear it until the paper isn't brown anymore
If getting a little water on your asshole is the only thing from turning you into a fag; I've got bad news for you, rent boi.

>>106960872
They sell attachments on Amazon and they're incredibly easy to install on any toilet. No reason not to have one.

>>106960777
>this nigga tears his butthole with sandpaper instead of using water because "LOL GHEY"
Heteros, everyone. Making life worse for themselves since BC -100000000000000.

>>106962199
Silence faggot, you're making bidetchads look bad

>>106962190
my ass doesnt need to be perfectly clean every time, it is not used to eat. If the paper isnt brown after wiping the underwear wont be either. The underwear gets replaced daily and i take a shower every evening.

>>106962291
how does taking a shower clean your anus

>>106960752 (OP)
anon... you should wash your ass regularly

>>106962291
>Confirmed Stinky butt

>>106960914
Heated onahole

>>106962299
12/10 bait

>>106960752 (OP)
couldn't image going back to wiping my ass like an absolute plebian

>>106961327
have you seen chinese people?

>>106960752 (OP)
Bidets are the technology that separates white men from street shitters

getting a bidet soon so i can stop spending 10 minutes wiping my ass and tear it open while doing so

>>106962562
? No, genuinely curious

Like, with a bidet you sit and your anus is just exposed to the water pressure coming from below, a shower is just water coming from top, unless you either do a handstand or spread your cheeks in 4 legs there's no good amount of water that goes into your butt.
And if you're using one of those hand accessories for showers then you're using a worse bidet at that point

>>106963132
The anus is to the butt what the lips are to the face.

>>106963384
And my lips are sealed.
Not everyone is running around with a used gaping anus like you, anon.

>>106960752 (OP)
an unpowered $20 bidet attachment is the single best bang for buck quality of life purchase I ever made, you think it's not a big deal but I had swamp ass forever and always used half a roll of toilet paper to keep the itch from having dried shit coating my asshole and this shit just makes all that disappear, you know you're not truly clean till you're sharting out clean water, that's how powerful it is, it'll even push water straight into the sigmoid colon bend to really clean you out if you're into anal

>>106962299
most people's definition of "washing your ass" doesn't include touching your anus and it certainly doesn't include shoving soap past the outer and inner sphincter with your fingers to really get it clean

>>106960923
kek

the machines and stuff are stupid i just go right in the shower after i shit

>>106964214
it's just a water nozzle that blasts water into your ass

>>106963384
You're still not explaning anything
How do you wash your anus, that is hidden on your cheeks, with water that is coming from above
Do you do a handstand? Do you spread your cheeks like a bitch on the shower? How do you do it?

>>106964225
yeah and my detachable showerhead does that, in a superior way. because i can also wash my pits and ballsweat and etc. its just more convenient, then i use the towel and dont need tp to wipe the water off, etc

>>106964272
what if you want to take a shit and not shower afterwards?

>>106964186
I use a bidet to clean my anus (that's where the shit comes from), I don't use soap or my hands, I just use a bidet with pressurized water

How do you clean your anus? Do you do a handstand on the shower like a circus monkey? Do you do a handstand while opening your legs? That seems kinda dangerous

>>106964272
Why are you washing your anus on the shower?
If you're using a hand-shower then you're just using a bidet at that point (with lower pressure even) and instead of cleaning your anus after you shit like a normal person with a bidet you're just going all day like a monkey with a dirty anus where your shit dries.
Would you take a shit on the shower? Because to me it looks like the same thing, you're leaving shit particles on the shower

>>106964281
i just deal with it, washing yourself is generally a good habit.
and getting cold water on your body stimulates your survival so you get chemicals firing in your brain that help you focus.
>cold shower meme
>>106964315
>Would you take a shit on the shower?
depends, if you have diahrea or shit, squatting in there and just flexing your body/stretching is helpful instead of almost shitting your pants going back and fourth to the toilet.
and i still take baths, which would have shit particles swirling around with you either way just from your dirty ass. baths are gross anyway, i take a shower to rinse and clean after a soaking bath.

>>106961327
The Ottoman empire didnt get a chance to spread their bidet usage there

>>106960752 (OP)
>OP's computer

>>106960868
What? No, your using it wrong bro.

>>106960752 (OP)
I want one of those $5000 Japanese toilets.

>>106964468
I have one, a toto washlet+.
It's amazing in every way and a complete game-changer, but it also ruins you.
You'll never want to shit anywhere else ever again.

>>106960752 (OP)
Monkey pox vaccine, prep, antiretrovirals

>>106964468
We'd all have them Japanese toilets for stoolin',
If I ruled the world, it'd be great, no foolin'.

>>106965788
I already don't want to shit in public restrooms anymore even with an unpowered toilet, I just deal with the ice cold winter water, it's kinda invigorating desu.
Also, the mounting system on totos seem really flimsy for a bidet over $300.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqDL9of9NSY

>>106960752 (OP)
It's clean you filthy faggot
>>106960868
kek I do that sometimes, pristine and clean in and out

>>106960752 (OP)
All the engagement bait posts here make this place seem like a crappier twitter. Too bad about the shit moderation...

DIY and 90% less botnet

I use copious amounts of wet wipes, followed by a shower
also waxing. makes everything cleaner and smoother.

>>106961675