Thread 17986156

ITT: We greentext convos and events/happenings on the this boat

>British delegation visiting the Emperor
>Chief Deaniorix, upon arriving on his private lease no-frills Range Rover dinghy, immediately downs an amphora of fine wine, proceeds to fight with the Praetorian Guard
>Chief's wife Cheryla rubbing her cankles with garum to fake a tan
>Chief's older brother Jaydenix sitting on the deck, topless, fat hairy gut bulging, already red as a lobster from three minutes of direct sunlight
>Chief's other brother Caydenix couldn't make it, is getting a hair transplant in Byzantium

>>17986156 (OP)
It was full of swarthies, which is why the Americans blew it up.

>>17986174
KEK

>>17986191
>the senators don't want you to know this, but emperor maximus donuldus was actually a secret pretorian agent and not a "" visitor"" to julians degenerstus island

>>17986199
>ey frater, do you have a lisence for that boat?

>>17986191
>Release the julian files

>>17986161
First post in and we're off to an incredibly unoriginal thought.

>tfw the German bodyguards threw the greek femboy overboard.
>again

>be me
>leave a gigantic load in the cisterns
>it doesn't flush
>panic
>find a nearby cleaning germanic slave
>barely know any germanic so point at the cistern and say "þitta, þitta"(look, look)
>flushes away just as usual

>>17986191
>>17986210
You could have made this a little better by referencing Tiberius and Capri Island. But you did not.

>>17986156 (OP)
>see a sea monster that’s black and white and it has its pack with it!
>grab a pilum from one of the guards and hurl it at the lead monster
>that’ll teach the watery cunts #sugaroflead vibes with my wine to celebrate
>they’re all turning towards the boat
Nothing further was recorded by the chronicler of this account.

>>17986156 (OP)
>Livia made me do it. Poor Drusus, he deserved better. And Marcellinus too, or maybe it was Agrippa on that one? Who the fuck knows, at least good ole Varus here will set things straight in Germania

>>17986229
>Relax Qvintvs. As long as we properly sacrifice to Mars Vltor we'll be fine. This is the warship that will take me to Legio IV Italica stationed in Salona right? By Pollux, my head is heave. I should not have drank all that falernian, the legate will be pissed

>>17987394
Urcinus Urca means Deathly Death in Latin

>>17986205
>Praetorians! Call the head centurion and have this Brittonic dog sent to clean the latrines

That fucking boat sucks and it's overhyped. If you get an invite don't even bother going.
>Standing near the edge of the deck listening to the son of some irrelevant client king bragging about how many slaves his father bought for him for his birthday.
>They bring Claudius up on deck and start pelting him with nuts saying "tell us something in etruscan, etruscan boy!" and drawing crude mud huts on the deckboards
>Had to pretend to laugh even though I feel bad for the guy
>Whole boat has to turn around and go back to port because the princeps didn't want to miss a chariot race he could have delayed anyway.
>25,000 sesterce fee tacked on at the end anyway because "fvck yov"

I heard theres a 3rd mega yacht buried somewhere in the lake and some locals are trying to find it.

>>17986156 (OP)
>done shitting
>tell the latrine slave it was a double flusher
>"But Master, you only flushed once..."
>get on deck
>a group of patricians mockingly greet me "heeeeeey look who finally crawled up to get some sunlight"
>fucking normalfags
>look around for the young emperor, my nephew and ward
>he is on his throne surrounded by a dozen women from all over the empire and a horde of sycophants
>I cant deal with this shit right now
>go to the buffet, eat some cheese, olives and wash it down with some wine
>overhear some Julia brat bragging about her husband being appointed in the senate and how she is pregnant again, they bought a new Villa in Campania and how great her husband is blabla
>everybody knows he fucks slave boys behind her back
>run into some Claudius asshole, he asks me to put in a good word with the Augustus
>"yeah sure"
>I am not, he only got command of that legion because his uncle was friends with the emperors father anyway
>suddenly there is a huge commotion
>a group of dancing boys appear on deck
>I told my brother not to buy a Greek tutor, but nobody ever listens to old Anonius
>he tries to call me over, "UNCLE"
>pretend I didnt hear him and find a nice quiet corner, fantasising about a stoic dialogue (I win the debate of course)
>"Gotta write that one down"
>sun is finally going down, thank Jupiter
>The Emperor announces we are not docking for the night, everybody cheers
>FML

>>17987583
Based

I wonder if there was ever an outbreak of that cruise ship virus that makes people shit themselves.