Thread 17987420

Does the average Muslim seriously believe such insane tales like this?

>>17987420 (OP)
Daif abbasid forgery according to dhahiri maddhab because the matn purports ahadith to be equal to revelation, which is a later innovation

>>17987420 (OP)
Now do the Bible

Yeah nigga, they believe all of it. The fact that it's ridiculous doesn't matter to muslims because they believe that they get to float on a cloud cooming forever and getting houri angel pussy for an eternity while everyone that makes fun of their pedo warlord cult founder gets dunked in boiling water and has needles shoved in their dickhole for eleven gorillion years. You can't reason with them because they view all of this as self-evident. To a muslim claiming that Muhammad didn't ride a flying pegasus to Jerusalem is like someone claiming water isn't real to you or me. They can't conceive of anything else.

>>17987420 (OP)
Judeochristians believe in a nailed pedophile transvestite rabbi kike that turned undead, that men were made of dirt and women made of the men's ribs, that the naile kike's foreskin has holy powers or something, in talking donkeys, snakes, in men that lived inside whales' bellies, in giants, in magicians that divided seas in half and that conjured locusts, and boats that fitted every animal in the world (including humans).

>>17987571
Muhammad was basically a 7th century conservative influencer.

>>17987590
That's also stupid as fuck. I need you to explain to me how any of that makes Islam less retarded though considering half of those things are also part of Islam.

This one was pretty based desu

>>17987539
The extent to which that pedo faggot muhammad hated dogs is insane

>>17987590
Muzzies believe all of that shit too except the part where he turned undead you retard

>>17987633
>"...but the tree Gharqad would not say, for it is the tree of the Jews."
https://youtu.be/Acq6ZwyEM2E

>>17987420 (OP)
>this is insane
>why?
>because I choose to believe in what my parents, teachers, friends told me is true
>what if they're clueless about what is true or false?
>I-I...

>>17987420 (OP)
Stone nonsense aside, wtf is even the purpose of this story? A tale of Moses' bare ass and brownoids bathing together to look at each other's cocks wth

>>17987848
>Israelites slander Moses
>they get proven wrong
>his honor has been restored
how is that hard to get?

need more of these kind of jaks mocking jews and christians too
and atheists for good measure

>>17987420 (OP)
Ugh just believe Jews' history and the best Jew Jesus man.

>>17987633
Treant protector be snitchin for the ummah

>>17987529
this one made me kek.

>>17987690
kek

>>17987529
Wow, what a crazy story

>>17987871
Pretty sure you could tell a tale like this without making it so stupid and gay, that's what

>>17987420 (OP)
Honestly this sounds like a joke that just doesn't translate well.

>>17987420 (OP)
No different from the retarded shit Christians believe.

>>17987539
Dogs can detect demons.

>>17987420 (OP)
>Muslims
>The end result of approximately a millennium of inbreeding
>Average IQ definitely sub 80 if you look at how they behave
>Plus you get murdered in Islamic societies if you question muh holy koran
If you think about it, it would actually be a lot stranger if Islam wasn't completely retarded OP, especially considering that the entire thing was based on the desires of a barely literate conman who though it was a great way to get himself money and pussy.

>>17987420 (OP)
>>17987529
>>17987633
Why are you so offended at these stories?
I was raised catholic, but I find them interesting and cool.
>>17990547
That's nice, dear.

>>17987871
And what is the purpose of the story?

>>17990750
Muhammad genuinely sounds autistic to me. Not even a joke.

>>17990474
I agree, hence why there are so many cases of pitbulls in America killing pigskin babies

>>17990619
I'm not offended, i just think they're funny. I don't even have anything against muslims in particular and recognize you can also find some equally retarded shit by digging around in the bible and the Talmud

>>17990619
>I find them interesting and cool.


wtf is interesting or cool about them?

>>17987420 (OP)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quranism

>>17987420 (OP)
Lmao, this thread is great

>>17990788
Sent that mutt flying

>>17987529
who do you think got to lick his fingers after eating that chicken?

>>17991199
wtf
That's repulsive

As a muslim, just wait till you hear about Islamic esotericism

As a muslim just wait till you hear about islamic esotericism

>>17991186
Stop samefagging paki rat

>>17990788
Someone call the mullah, his bachabazi is using his smartphone to shitpost

>>17990619
>offended
the one about muhammad eating chicken is genuinely just funny. some dude thought it was vital to the religion to remind everyone that muhammad ate some chicken for lunch one day

As a generic white guy from Tennessee, I just started reading "The Clear Quran" which was handed to me by a muslim guy in a park.
I've read about the first 10 pages or so and I can report that the tone and style of the reading is very off-putting. Overall it read as a cranky and ranting style. It doesn't help that the structure is all over the place, so you can't follow the theme or message because it's interspersed with verses which either proclaim some big glorious praise for Allah, and heap outright bitter resentful scorn on unbelievers and imagining them in hell ( but remember that Allah is Most Merciful...). As a modern, when I read this there's nothing in it that is relevant or practical for my lifestyle, even the advice or wisdom is scant and trite, the main justification for doing good is because "Allah likes it".
Honestly it's a book for gullible or pathetic people, anyone with self-respect wouldn't find anything useful as far as I've read.

>>17991271
If there's one thing that grinds my gears, it's trying to humanize animals with reddit tier heckin pupperino jokes and blending that in with your ideological mutt culture war nonsense. Dogs are objectively disgusting. I'm not a muzzie when I say that.
Anyways, Cupcake needs another aborted fetus. She's just a growing 4 foot tall pupperino after all.

>>17991380
there's a reason medieval people considered muhammad a schismatic. they had heard enough muslim doctrine to see it was christian-flavored rantings of a desert schizo
the quran isn't organized in any logical way, there's no coherence to any of its sections, the teachings are a mix of non-orthodox/heretical christian or jewish doctrines and pagan arabian beliefs, half the "revelations" are just muhammad telling his followers that allah wants them to do the exact thing muhammad was telling them to do after they ignored muhammad the first time
the medieval muslims that mostly ignored the quran and relied on human reason were pretty chill people, its a shame the fanatic nutjobs won out everywhere but indonesia and central asia

>>17991394
Ehhh, Indonesia began doing public floggings for adultery and a new criminal code that takes effect in 2026 expands the country's blasphemy laws to criminalize "leaving a religion or belief", criminalizing apostasy from Islam. The fanatics recently won in Indonesia, too.

>>17991169
even more retarded and can't agree on a single thing beside hating kuffar

>>17987420 (OP)
not all of them

>>17992606
kek

>>17987529
>>17987571
Ok these were pretty good

>>17987529
It was really uncalled for, he's just eating, leave him alone.

>>17987529
>INSHALLAH, THIS NIGGA EATIN CHICKEN

>>17991394
>the medieval muslims that mostly ignored the quran and relied on human reason were pretty chill people
No they werent, they were all the bad of Rome without any of the redeeming qualities.
Pisslam is humanities shadow.

>>17987420 (OP)
They're slaves to Allah.
God needs nothing, and not-one least of all submission & flesh slaves.
So - who are they worshoping?

I do wonder about FGM though.
I swear - sex should not be as pleasurable as what it is.
Pain proceeds pleasure.....
Someone (at some point) REALLY wanted to ride it out.

This whole world is awash for people crying out for salvation.
You just don't know where you're going

>>17987420 (OP)
They're slaves to Allah.
God needs nothing, least of all possession over slaves of flesh.

So - who are they worshoping?

I do wonder about FGM though.
I swear - sex should not be as pleasurable as what it is.
Pain proceeds pleasure.....
Someone (at some point) REALLY wanted to ride it out.

This whole world is awash for people crying out for salvation.
You just don't know where you're going

>>17990748
Am I crazy or is this verse saying that Umar was peeping on girls pissing at night and so Mohammad's response was for women to fully veil themselves?

>>17987571
Ok let's be honest, what else was Muhammed supposed to do in this story?
The guy already showed he wasn't going to kill or at least divorce his wife, you're doing your thing and some guy with a black baby that's clearly not his comes to you, obviously knowing those kids aren't his, but not doing anything about it. What do you do?
"No yeah man you have to fuck her up, kill the bitch"?
I'm sure had the guy divorced the woman then went to the prophet to explain what happened there would have been a better explanation like 'yeah man you did the right thing, violence isn't the answer but you can't remain with someone screwing you up like this" idk
I bet the prophet and his buddies were laughing everytime they'd see the guy raising the black kid and give him the thumbs up like "it's the camel dude the camels"

>>17993032
It sounds like a pretty good response on muhammad's part. He defused a possibly violent situation.

>>17987420 (OP)
Yes, and they'll kill you if you mock their silly tales.

>>17993032
>>17993059
Are you two retarded, genuinely?

It's morally better to lie to a man and then mock him for the rest of his life than tell him the truth and give him justice, really?

Moslems are demented. I will never understand their inbred ways.

>>17991213
Wait until you see some of the Piss Hadiths.

>‘The Messenger of Allah used to pray salah at his house and made it long. Once, He SAW urinated in the well, which was situated inside the house. Anas said: ‘there was no well in Madinah which tasted more cool and sweet than it’. He said: ‘when the sahabah come to my house I serve them with the sweet water of that well. In the era of jahiliyyah it was known as al-Barud, ‘the cool well’’’

>>17993417
Link?

>>17993427
It's in Dala’il al-Nubuwwa. Although modern scholars say it's a mistranslation, and instead of urinate he would spit in the well. Which would certainly fit with a pattern of behavior (Muhammed spitting in people's food and water):

From Sahih al-Bukhari 4102:
>The Prophet (ﷺ) raised his voice and said, "O people of Trench ! Jabir has prepared a meal so let us go." Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said to me, "Don't put down your earthenware meat pot (from the fireplace) or bake your dough till I come." So I came (to my house) and Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) too, came, proceeding before the people. When I came to my wife, she said, "May Allah do so-and-so to you." I said, "I have told the Prophet (ﷺ) of what you said." Then she brought out to him (i.e. the Prophet (ﷺ) the dough, and he spat in it and invoked for Allah's Blessings in it. Then he proceeded towards our earthenware meat-pot and spat in it and invoked for Allah's Blessings in it. Then he said (to my wife). Call a lady-baker to bake along with you and keep on taking out scoops from your earthenware meat-pot, and do not put it down from its fireplace." They were onethousand (who took their meals), and by Allah they all ate, and when they left the food and went away, our earthenware pot was still bubbling (full of meat) as if it had not decreased, and our dough was still being baked as if nothing had been taken from it.

>>17993449
>Which would certainly fit with a pattern of behavior (Muhammed spitting in people's food and water):
WTF?! Why?

They often interpret such tales in naturalistic ways, focusing more on the moral lesson.

>>17993562
Muhammed was a special lil' guy.

He claimed to get nighttime visits from Jibril (the archangel Gabriel), who would dictate the literal, incorruptible word of God to him, which is why Muslims believe the Quran to be perfect. However, he later claimed that when Quran 53 (Surah An-Najm) was revealed to him, he was actually under the influence of the devil, so he got it wrong (but it's still in the compiled Quran).

>>17994202
Are those the famous satanic verses?

>>17994202
Reading about muhammad feels like learning about those weird little sects for batshit crazy hippies who were on LSD all the time. Were arabs in the 7th century really that fucking retarded?

>>17994259
It was all just stories, to help unite Arabia and satisfy some peoples wants for power and imperialism.

>>17994202
>However, he later claimed that when Quran 53 (Surah An-Najm) was revealed to him, he was actually under the influence of the devil
This only raises more questions? How was he able to retain any authority while claiming that he was getting revelations from Satan??

>>17994268
Don't trust too much what was written in Quran and other later sources in the first place to really tell you what was happening there on the ground.

>>17991216
>>17991219
Enlighten us

>>17990754
Why tf would God even care if someone wiped their ass an even number of times?

>>17994366
There a lot more of those rules.
Don't think just obey

>>17994267
Yeah okay, but why would anyone fall for it?

>>17994379
Because they had something to gain, or something to lose.

>>17994259
I guess you might compare him to Charles Manson, except Muhammed lived in a society that often saw insanity as a sign of divine favor.

>>17994379
If you look into the early history of Islam, you'll find that clan and tribal affiliation were everything. Muhammed was from the Banu Hashim clan, which was one of the clans of the relatively powerful Quraysh tribe. Muhammed was able to take a number of existing trends in the region of Mecca and Medina (like the growth of Abrahamic monotheism as opposed to polytheism, and the increased importance of trade routes to Syria) and reshape those trends in his own favor. This made him wealthy and powerful, at least more so than most of his neighbors.

So what happened was that people were usually sceptical of Muhammed's metaphysical claims, but it was useful for them to align their clans/tribes with his, and dangerous to refuse to do so. Conversion was a political move, not a genuine change of heart, which is why the Muslim community fell apart into warring factions and widespread apostasy the moment Muhammed died (with many early converts claiming that following Muhammed's death they had been released from their religious obligations as Muslims).

>>17994685
It should be said that clans are still important in the Muslim world. Jordan, for instance, is ruled by a corrupt regime that owes allegiance to America and Israel, but most Muslims there don't mind the situation too much, because the puppet regime is led by a royal family that claims to be the last existing branch of the Banu Hashim, making them Muhammed's closest living relatives.

>>17994685
>(with many early converts claiming that following Muhammed's death they had been released from their religious obligations as Muslims)
Do you have some sources on this?

>>17987593
He have old hags and loli as wife

>>17994698
It was called the era of the Ridda Wars, which took place in the 1-2 years following Muhammed's death, where a lot of tribes that had accepted Islam changed their minds, and several other tribal leaders claimed to be prophets before being killed or captured by Abu Bakr's army.

>>17987420 (OP)
You believe a Jewish rabbi rose from the dead and flew into the sky

this thread is pure kek.

>>17987420 (OP)
Does the average Jew really think sticks can turn into snakes and people can live for hundreds of years, or that an "all-powerful" deity keeps losing wars, people and his favorite toys?

There's stupid and gullible, there there's Torah stupid and gullible.

40 years to take a week long walk by the beach.......They were either the dumbest people in history, the laziest or both. All the evidence points to both, of course.

>>17995876
Islam and muslims are pure kek in general.

>>17996716
>lmao islam is dumb
>OH YEAH BUT WHAT ABOUT JEWS THO!?
is this post some kind of muslim scramble? You are both dumb.

How does all this bullshit eventually lead up to a highly accurate model of the Soul, I don't get it.

>>17996847
Islam is like the exact perfect religion for warlord sociopaths to browbeat their pathetic slaves into submission. It's such an obvious tool of power dynamic enforcement that the spiritual aspects and comically shoddy to anyone within a normal range human intellect or self-respect.
It's the great farce of human history that a joke of a religion like Islam ended up being one of the main influence over the poor unlucky souls of billions of people.

For all its faults, at least Islam got rid of the retarded bullshit Trinity concept that Christianity grappled with for centuries that led to actual political divisions and deaths even after the first millennia (see Newton being a non-trinitarian and modern sects today who deny it).

>>17987534
There's already a thread up about the travesty that is the story of Jacob and Esau

>>17987571
This one isn’t even that bad

>>17987534
the bible is not stupid at all compared to the cockran.

>>17987590
atheists are wrong about everything.

>>17987420 (OP)
Many probably don't treat it as seriously as they do with stories from Quran. Even thought it may be offically haram.

>>17991394
Medieval muslim arabs were so chill they changed the ethnic composition of the Levant,North Africa and Persia forever. So chill. Chill Lebensraum.

>>17998182
Haram according to the very same people who make a living from propagating these stories.
Man, screw this hadith madness. Just follow Quran alone and all of Islam's issues will be resolved.

>>17999483
>Just follow Quran alone and all of Islam's issues will be resolved.
Lol, lmao even.

>>17987420 (OP)
Honestly? The average Muslim won't have read more than a small number of Hadith. They practice Islam because they were born into it, not because they have any critical understanding of their religion or any great grounding in its sources as a whole. They will be familiar with Quranic passages because they're part of ritual prayer, but understanding of those passages isn't even particularly strong, especially if you're talking about Muslims from non-Arabic-speaking countries (i.e. the majority).

Indeed, if you go back a handful of generations, the average Muslim's family will have been majority illiterate - completely ill-equipped to critically engage with what is an intensely scholarly and legalistic religious tradition. The Islamic orthodoxy is fundamentally built on taqlid - understanding the religion is outsourced wholesale to a scholarly class while the average Muslim just blindly carries out formulaic rituals and lives by rigid codes of conduct.

>>17998121
And then God sent bears to maul the children who mocked my baldy head