Tomorrow morning it was too painful thinking of my oneitis. And the agony and anger won over me and I started desiring her cancer and imagining her all powerless nearly dying looking with pain in my resentful eyes.
Bought an americano with milk, panini and a bar.
Breakfast only at 9 am, then I will take pills. Can't wait until pills numb me. 2 more weeks.

>>211885027 (OP)
Why don't you ask your oneitis out?

>>211885027 (OP)
>OP's oneitis
Built for Roshen choc.

>>211885145
she blocked me after never responding to my numerous everyday messages that I started bombarding her with 7-8 years after last time seeing her. I've messaged her for a few months without any feedback and then she blocked me.

She's also turning 25 in 2 months, imagine how much she got railed by other men, how she got hirst first kiss from other man, how she got her strongest memories and experiences with others. How she developed with others. It's over. It's just over.
I just wish her the worst stuff in her personal life. I can't take it.

>>211885279

>I started desiring her cancer and imagining her all powerless nearly dying looking with pain in my resentful eyes.
Did they assign psychotherapy with your setraline? Thoughts like these point to a KYS risk especially taking psychiatric drugs, please watch yourself bro it's no joke.

>>211885279
based

>>211885347
I've been suicidal since 14, and I had these bursts of suffering desires for others every now and then too. Nothing's changed. And if I end up UNALIVING myslef, nothing's bad really. I am now much less suicidal than I was just 3 or 6 or 9 or 12 months ago for example

>>211885421
No one asked for your life story faggot. Go get splattered into meat bits by a drone so we don't have to hear anymore if your yapping

>>211885467
Judas

>>211885027 (OP)
None of this ever happens to GNU/Linux users

>>211885027 (OP)
you will only grind yourself into more pain and suffering thinking of her
consider letting it go, it’s better for you in the long run
no woman is worth killing yourself over

>>211885537
easy to say when your country has adderall legal

In Ukraine you can only suffer from pussy-heart illness when you have no adderall or ritalin to save you

>>211885603
didnt mean to sound like that but thats what it comes down to, thats the only winning move.
think about it, even if you got her now, you wont be happy with her after all of what you’ve been through. Your best bet is to find someone else, or give it a rest.
drugs wont fix this issue, you’ll only spiral deeper into it.

>>211885279
How did you even pass the mental check, you're clearly not fit

>>211885279
The Belgian is right. Just let go. You don't need adderall for that.
Forget her and find someone else. Wishing harm on her won't accomplish anything.

>>211885680
I mean dude, she was the one
how the fuck do you let go of that

Maybe there's a very good kind kissless virgin 17 year old girl who would fall in love with me. But I am 26, and that's just would be so silly trying to make anything out of that. Because she's from different timeline, she's different in everything. I would feel absolutely isolated with her in so many aspects. And I would also never feel real love towards her, because truly my heart is only for one.. The reality there's always be just one girl I felt these mindblowing feelings.
I've lost my only chance for real love. Only roasties with twisted souls in my age category. They are all been influenced by others. I should've been the one who influences my oneitis in all the possible ways. But it just never happened.

I will never experience love. And that's just a fact. And I don't think you can really cope with that. You can only numb yourself with meds in such situation, and try to cope with success, sex, achievements, status, ego boosts, etc.

>>211885701
imagine telling the truth to psychiatrist and not just playing along the npc norms he has in his mind

>>211885819
You concocted a whole story about her, about her being the one. While she didnt act like “the one”. What makes her so special? “The one” would have enough respect for you to reply to your messages and treat you like a human being. “The one” would love you back. You were infatuated with her and the idea of being with her. Do you think 17 year olds arent vile egomaniac demon roasties? They just hide it to save face. They are just as bad as 25 year olds.
Please let go of this high school sweetheart fantasy it rarely works out. Yes it would be amazing to live it but no one does. This infatuation you had with her is very typical and common, you arent alone with these feelings. But im telling you, if you dont let this go it will deteriorate you and absolutely nothing will be achieved.
You can either choose to suffer and think about her 24/7 in perpetuity or you can choose to suffer temporarily moving on from her and looking for something else

>>211885701
People like him are mentally fit enough to deceive, schizophrenics and other states of affect can't keep their retardation in check. I am a full blown alcoholic no one in my immediate vicinity knows, the only record of that I have is higher liver enzymes on the test but I just say I was partying the last few weeks.

>>211886299
>People like him are mentally fit enough to deceive

>>211886126
If she's not the one then I just want her to get a serious illness or just to suffer to the end of her days.
Also, can I blame her for not responding to THIS? I am such a freak, I am so ashamed of desiring death to her after reading it again
I've asked chatGPT to translate the images, but it only does so poorly. It cannot noramlly translate the stuff I wrote.

At the same time I would be so happy and sad if she'd live a miserable life.
And the same time I would be so bitter and happy if she'd have a good life with husband, kids, being a good woman like she is, and had a good career in science.

I don't know, this is just the one, and I can't do nothing about it. The worst thing is that I am mentally fucked forever. You should shoot on spot people like me, just like you shoot horses who can't run no more

>>211885027 (OP)
>>211885279
This thread is off topic

>>211885027 (OP)
I realize just now that I’ve never tried to pronounce oneitis, although I’ve seen it hundreds of times on 4chan; is it “one it is,” or “one-itis,” like a disease?

To OP, hating someone for not liking you back is a disservice to both of you. If she’s unattainable and you actually know it, I hope you can get over her. If she’s someone you’re just silently pining for from a distance, I hope you can eventually get to know her.

But you definitely want to cool it with the homicidal rage and resentment before you try to ask her out. It’s an ugly look.

Enjoy your coffee.

>>211885027 (OP)
Oh so you're that malding incel after all, ewww.

>>211886703
What part is offtopic faggot?

>>211886637
Yes its typical infatuation you had for her. You should know that her not responding to you is her saying that she isn’t interested.
You are temporarily mentally fucked, not forever, and stopping giving her energy will heal you over some time.
Dont beat yourself up, it happens to many guys

>>211886900
But this caused me so much suffering.
To this day I still monitor her on internet. She's got a profile on a botanic website and I monitor every her post. I search through photos and sometimes she's got her finger or hand in the picture. Sometimes I get to see her shadow or even reflection.
Sometimes she posts sounds of different birds and I can hear her walking and breathing. I save all that on my pc.

I wish she'd experience at least 1/3rd or what I did.
Women are heartless whores witches I hope they all burn in hell miserably

>>211886983
First you have to love yourself, then try loving someone else.

If you don't love youself, you'll kill yourself over any niggerish whore who spoke more than 8 minutes with you.

And I'll charge you for the next advice.

>>211886299
>I was partying the last few weeks
Isn't a week long bender enough to get flagged for alcoholism? Non alcoholics don't do that, they usually find it gross to start all over again once hungover. I can't hide my benign vice (chain smoking) because it stinks so I'm envious of alkies.

>>211886983
And what does it change to have these thoughts and following her? She probably forgot you already.

>>211885027 (OP)
cлoпник, come to Crna Gora and join your compatriots :)))

>>211885279
Gigabased

>>211887341
>compatriots
How are you my compatriots?

>>211885279
t. Bohun

>>211886983
you will always be miserable if you worship women like this, they piss and shit just like the rest of us
shes not your god

>>211885819
tego kwiatu pół światu :^)

>>211887485
Then why even view women as more than just fucktoys?

>>211887780
Because romanticism was a fleeting trend that not only got killed by technofeudalism, but its lifeless body got maimed beyond recognition by algorithm brainrot. Romantic love as a concept didn't exist in feudal times and it won't exist in neo-feudal times other than a footnote to social history for decadeology obsessed youtubers to make an essay of.

Women are more tuned in to paradigm shifts so trying to live out your romantic pipe dream is like climbing a brick wall. Most of them got programmed to brush off swooning love messages as creepy, weird, they even get cold feet from it because they got brainrotten by true crime podcasts.

>>211885279
Bro.. You don't even know her. She could've been a terrible person. Just find another girl and stop obsessing. Find a hobby too and friends.