When was the last time your brain wasn't filled with negative thoughts in your country? For me it was when I was 11 (I'm 26 now in my country).

do you have anxiety?

>>212841984
I don't know, probably. I've never been to a psychiatrist

>>212841946 (OP)
Dunno
12 maybe

>germaphobia
>go outside
>"gah, storm drain grate, I hope I didn't touch it!"
>"gah, trash can, I hope I didn't touch it!"
>"gah, bird corpse, I hope I didn't touch it"
>worry about it like crazy until I get home
>immediately take a shower and worry it will take all the bleach in the world to kill whatever there may be on my clothes
This is hell, bros. Every fucking day, it's the same thing. I just want to be normal.

>>212842204
How do you deal with taking a shit?

>>212842375
I used to be terrified of accidentally touching my poo poo while wiping, which could then make me do even more poo poo, hurt my tum tum and vomit but nowadays, I stopped caring. I'm more afraid of the real deal: spores, pseudomonas aeruginosa etc...
I'm a fool.

>>212841946 (OP)
2020 probably. i outgrew the blackpill kinda late

>>212842447
Can't you apply what made you stop caring to that too?

>>212842532
Since they're "a bit" more harmful, my brain won't let me

I don't know what I'm going to do. I am completely incapable of functioning in the modern world

>>212841946 (OP)
sometimes I have like 30 seconds of euphoria

>>212842618
Shame

>>212841946 (OP)
He had every reason to be mad at bjork.

By my calculations if I save hard I can retire in 5-10 years but who knows maybe im hit by a bus by then or be unable to physically do things I want to do today. I just know that I didn't ask for all the hardships and they are too many/significant to compensate for the rare and dim good moments. You can't prove/verify this, it's subjective experience. An heroing is an unregrettable event. But in all likelihood, I will still have to wake up early tomorrow to work for a bank that enslaves people. The world would objectively be better off without me. I just hope I don't cause more harm by taking revenge on my parents.

>>212842204
Same, French bro. I have Contamination OCD germaphobia. Life’s been hell since 2023 when it developed strongly. Every drug I did take only has minorly nullified it.

>>212844160
holy shit, I also developed it in 2023 (December, to be more accurate)
>drink alcohol to feel good
>hardly able to control myself
>the next day "d-d-d-did I touch something I shouldn't have!?"
Hell.

>>212844756
Odd as fuck that you said December. Because that’s when I strongly got it too when I was mailing gifts to a girl for Christmas. But it’s been unreal since. Feels like reality itself is attacking me. It’s crazy, because I know it’s unrational, but my mind still freaks out and legit clenches up like I’m being squeezed and cause mental distraughtness and agony.

>>212844828
>Feels like reality itself is attacking me
Same. Going out is just pain at this point and it's hard to manage it.

>>212841946 (OP)
My bad thoughts somewhat go away when I'm in my imagination, so everyday

>>212841946 (OP)
High school I guess

today

>>212842204
>"gah, bird corpse, I hope I didn't touch it"
??? what the correlation with germans